第83話 相坂礼奈〜過去③「つまんない」〜 - I Was Cheated on by My Girlfriend but My Devilish Junior Now Yearns for Me

November was approaching the one-year anniversary. Around that time, Yuta seemed to have lost some of his usual energy. Watching him with a pensive expression, I wondered if there was anything I could do to help. But personal worries come in all shapes and sizes, and everyone has one or two things they'd rather keep to themselves. Yuta isn't the type to wear a troubled expression just to seek someone's attention when there's nothing significant bothering him. If he didn't confide in me, his girlfriend, it seemed unlikely he wanted to talk to anyone else about his troubles. As his girlfriend, it was a bit lonely, but I understood that sometimes people need to think things over by themselves. If that would cheer him up, I had no complaints. ──I’m here, cheering you on from the shadows. If there ever comes a time when you need to voice your anxieties, Yuta, I’ll be the first to listen. I resolved to let things be for a while without asking Yuta anything. During that time, I was invited to participate in a beauty contest held at the women's college. The contest I was invited to was fairly well-known, and winning the grand prize came with various perks. One such perk was getting to work with a sponsor, which made me think it might be a valuable experience, so I decided to enter just to try. Originally, on days without dates or part-time work, I found myself with plenty of free time, so I thought it was a perfect opportunity to challenge myself with something new. I was on the official site for a few days. Eventually, I realized the competition was larger in scale than I had anticipated and decided to withdraw. On social media, each participant gathered quite a following, and the grand prize winner would be the subject of numerous online articles. I judged that it wasn't something I could enter without consulting Yuta about its scale. After that, I transitioned to helping with the contest's organization, but that unexpectedly consumed a significant amount of time, leading me to turn down several date invitations from Yuta. A few weeks passed that way, and then I went on a long-awaited date with Yuta again. Yuta's usual energy had returned, and it filled my heart with warmth. A notification sounded from Yuta's phone. When he looked at it, he smiled, his lips curving upward—a rare expression for him. I glanced at the lock screen, just catching a snippet of the notification bar. "So, it's resolved now. Let me know if anything else comes up." Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't have paid much attention to such a mundane message. But at that moment, my eyes couldn't move away from that notification. I knew Yuta had been troubled. And today, I could tell he had returned to the Yuta I knew. As his girlfriend, it hurt a bit that he hadn't confided in me, meaning I couldn’t help him. It felt somewhat lonely and frustrating. Even so, if Yuta was feeling better, such fleeting emotions didn't matter—I had thought. But it was Ayaka who had brought back Yuta's smile. I said I would make him happy. Ayaka's presence meant... to Yuta. I could feel a dark emotion slowly bubbling up inside my chest. I'd always tried not to notice it. Because if I acknowledged it, I feared I could no longer be the good girlfriend Yuta needed. I tried not to dwell on it. To Yuta, wasn't Ayaka's presence larger than mine? Wasn't Ayaka, rather than his girlfriend, the one who could truly understand Yuta and be the irreplaceable person for him? That day, Yuta was lively, like he hasn't been for a long time. He was cracking jokes often, enjoying the date. That’s the Yuta I loved. I should have been happy. I should have been. But the reality that it wasn't me, but some woman I didn't know who had cheered Yuta up made me murmur quietly: "How boring." Startled, I looked up to see Yuta staring at me, surprised. I tried to cover up the words that had slipped out, but Yuta spoke before I could. He seemed a bit upset, which was understandable from his perspective. Sorry. Such a simple word was caught in my throat, unable to escape. A dark feeling clamped it shut at the back of my throat. ──If it were Ayaka, you wouldn’t fall out over something so trivial. I managed to swallow down the petty words that almost slipped out instead of an apology. In the end, we parted ways right there. Afterward, I deliberately reduced the frequency of my contact with Yuta. I refused his date invitations. I needed more time alone. I wanted to reflect on my relationship with Yuta in solitude. Ending the relationship wasn’t an option for me. I wanted to find my own way to adjust my feelings so I could continue being with Yuta. This was my recharge period to prepare for enjoyable times from the next date onward. During this time, I finally took the opportunity to slowly contemplate Ayaka’s presence. I felt a sense of inferiority towards Ayaka Minou. From the stories Yuta occasionally shared, I could roughly imagine Ayaka’s personality. She was a completely different type from me, with indisputably top-notch looks. It's unfair. If only I had become friends with Ayaka, maybe I wouldn't harbor such feelings. For the first time, I regretted not sticking with the outdoor club selection. Although I was the one who withdrew due to getting fed up with the seniors secretly selecting female members based on looks. Still, it's better to be jealous of a friend than of a woman with whom I have no acquaintance. At least, then, I might have been able to subtly assert my stakes. During this self-serving recharge period, I ended up meeting Toyoda.