第89話 那月との絆 - I Was Cheated on by My Girlfriend but My Devilish Junior Now Yearns for Me

Thirty minutes before the first class began, the lecture room was still quite empty. Despite that, it didn't have an air of loneliness because I knew that in about fifteen minutes, students would flood in like waves. Marveling at the many empty seats, I took a spot right in the middle of the lecture room. It was a location that discouraged skipping, one I wouldn't usually find myself in. But since I had managed to get up early for once, I figured, why not take advantage of it? As I happily placed my bag down, I was greeted by a voice from the side. "It's the first time I've seen you here this early, Yuta." "Hmm... whoa." Hearing the voice, I turned to the side, only to find myself startled. Wearing a unique combination of a hoodie layered with a blouson was Natsuki. Noticing my reaction, she gave a wry smile. "Hey, that hurts a bit, you know." "Well, um..." Perhaps it was because I knew she had been close friends with Reina since high school, but I couldn't help but feel intimidated. Even though I seemed to have come to terms with the incident with Reina in front of Shinohara, it didn't mean the guilt had vanished easily. What could I possibly say to someone who had been accurately pointing out my flaws—the ones that ended up causing Reina pain—even before I became aware of them? Back when we were in our second year of high school. At that time, Sakagishita, who had caused Ayaka grief, became someone I despised. To Natsuki, I must be standing in that same position. Knowing that, I lacked any confidence in my ability to communicate effectively. "Can I sit next to you?" "Next to me?" "Who else would it be?" Without waiting for my response, Natsuki took the seat beside me. A large crescent-shaped earring glimmered at the edge of my vision. "There's something I want to say to you, Yuta." As she quietly murmured this, Natsuki pulled out a university notebook and writing utensils from her tote bag. Something she wanted to say. Well, I had things I wanted to say too. "—Sorry. I was the one who caused Reina pain." "Huh?" Natsuki looked at me, slightly taken aback. "I was lacking consideration. My narrow-mindedness dismissed Reina's explanations. I feel bad about it, not just for Reina... but for you too, Natsuki." "Stop it." Natsuki cut in sharply. "You've already talked it out with Reina, right? If so, I'm fine with it." She heaved a gentle sigh and shook her head. "It wasn't like I was particularly upset by it." "... I see." There were no other motives to interrupt my apology that I could think of. But if that's what she said, then I had no choice but to remain silent. "I'm the one who should be apologizing today." Natsuki? Surprised by her unexpected words, I couldn't help but ask in return, to which she slowly nodded. "...I said some high-handed things to you, Yuta. I'm sorry about various things." I remembered that Natsuki had given me some reprimands before I went to the park with Reina. She must be referring to those times. However, I recall that her words were not unreasonable but rather sound opinions. If anything, I was grateful rather than resentful. "As you said, I've been blessed by those around me. I realize that's why some of my bad sides have come out. Natsuki was just pointing that out." I continued after saying that. "Having someone like you around makes me realize a lot of things and helps me. That's why I'd be happy if you could keep an eye on me going forward." I have others around me who are strict with me too. They say things for my sake, and that comes across. But Natsuki's criticisms of my ways were for Reina's sake. There are things you can only understand when you're reprimanded on behalf of someone else. Natsuki was silent for a while, staring at me. Eventually, she shifted her gaze toward the blackboard. "...You're an odd person." "Is that so?" "Yeah. Normally, you'd think it'd be better not to have inconvenient people around. That's how I'd feel. University is a place where you can choose your social circles." "Well, you can if you want to, I guess. Clubs are sort of like that too." As Natsuki said, university is a setting where it's easier to choose who you want to be close to. With the concept of classes and classrooms being less defined, without taking initiative to build relationships, isolation is a possibility. In high school, we spent a full year with peers in the same place. Inevitably, the distance to various types of people shrank, and in turn, our adaptability to others improved, I think. It's something you could inadvertently learn in school, skills necessary when entering society, which I had once understood. But how about lately? Especially this past year, I've been spending time only with people I get along with. I've sought comfort and relaxing places too much. Because of that, the natural thought processes that should consider others have become blunted. As Natsuki said, I was numbed by it. Of course, I don't mean this as an excuse. Even in a similar environment, there must be many people who don't lose that mindset when interacting with others. Still, I must acknowledge that the occurrences between me and Reina are indirectly linked to that environment. "Sometimes, immersing yourself in different environments is necessary. But I admire people who can do that while satisfied with their current situation. I can't manage that." "Is that so?" Although I didn't completely grasp her personality, she came to the mixer hosted by Ayaka. Considering she's part of that outdoor club, I assumed she was sociable. "Yeah. I've been escaping from various things as well. I've come this far, hoping to change my nature someday." "I see." I murmured just that and closed my mouth. I'm not necessarily trying to break away from my current situation. While it may sometimes be necessary to change environments for personal growth, I like where I am now. If it comes to protecting my current situation, I do want to take action. However, I mustn't take the present for granted. If I'm not at least conscious of that, I'll face struggles in the future. Once employed, there will be moments where I'll need to smile even at people I dislike. This environment won't last forever. It might not even continue until I graduate from this university—perhaps it will end sooner. Within such circumstances, having chances to talk with Natsuki, who offers frank words, brings me happiness. When I communicated this to her, Natsuki smiled. "Then, can I tell you one more thing?" "What is it?" "If you lean on Ayaka, you'll make the same mistakes again. I think your relationship is maintained by her overwhelming capabilities." "...Thanks for the advice." It's difficult to seek others' understanding of my relationship with Ayaka. Nonetheless, the suggestion to become self-reliant felt rightful. Natsuki laughed softly at my response. "Expressing gratitude at a moment like this, huh?" "Normally, that would be infuriating. Maybe Reina was also drawn to your odd quirks, Yuta." "What do you mean by odd?" "Just what it sounds like—a little strange." "You really mean it literally...?" I understand my emotions don't fluctuate as much as those who belong to outdoor clubs and such. However, I find myself reluctant to nod when called 'odd.' Unfortunately, I lack the mindset that finds joy in being labeled as 'unique.' "You're strange, but not a bad person. If you were a bad guy, I would have already told Reina to drop you." From her tone, it was evident that she had heard about last week's incident directly from Reina. To share such a thing suggests their closeness. It seems my assumption about the similarity between Natsuki and Reina’s relationship, compared to the one between Ayaka and me, was spot on. The noise around us increased, and I turned my gaze away from Natsuki. Inadvertently, the lecture room had filled more than before, and the professor had slowly started preparing at the podium. "I didn't notice because I was nervous." "Nervous?" Natsuki sounded surprised. "Nervous, yeah. Anyone would feel that way talking to someone they think doesn’t like them." "…I don't particularly dislike you. You're one of the few people I can talk about manga with." "Is that so?" Now it was my turn to sound surprised. "I thought there were plenty of others." When I replied, Natsuki let out a small sigh. "There aren't many I want to have those conversations with. Somehow, if I think what I say might spread to others, I don't want to talk. I'm a bit resistant to being labeled an otaku." As she said this, Natsuki used her thumb and forefinger to demonstrate just a tiny gap. Reading manga and watching anime are widely acknowledged activities among us students, yet depending on the community one belongs to, it can be perceived very differently. For instance, there must be hardly anyone involved in Natsuki and Ayaka's circle called 'Green.' Though I never felt the need to hide my love for manga, I could understand how Natsuki felt. "…In the end, I'm someone who worries about appearances and stuff. If you're trying to change, Yuta, then I also need to change." "I see. Well, let's do our best, shall we?" I extended my palm. Natsuki showed a hint of hesitation but eventually grasped the intention and smiled. "Yeah, let's." Her hand met mine with a satisfying clap. The awkward tension that had lingered between us seemed to dissolve with that high-five. The lecture room was filled with the sound of the bell ringing. At the perfectly timed moment, Natsuki and I exchanged glances and couldn't help but burst into laughter. —Maybe one day, Natsuki and I could truly become friends. Natsuki is mainly Reina’s friend. But that shouldn't be an obstacle for us to talk. Everyone is somebody's friend and a cherished person. As long as I remember that, it’s all right. "Oh, by the way, she's coming over today." I was taken aback. I immediately knew who she meant by 'she'.