112 - Upki Girl

< Not an Inn, a Cinema > ―Thump Thump Thump Thump I can literally feel the harsh pounding of my heartbeat slamming against my breastbone. The end. Game over, and everything else along with it. Just done. Seriously! Can you believe these guys are all wearing outfits with exposure levels equal to swimwear? These were the costumes they bulk purchased for last Halloween, intending to cosplay but got too busy preparing for their album and never got around to wearing. They picked only the most provocative ones from the lot. Seo-won, who favored the Aztec princess character from a civilization game—her outfit was essentially a bikini. Yona, the regular Harley Quinn cosplayer—she had micro short pants no more than panties and fishnet stockings. Yeon-hong as Chun-Li—a Chinese dress that showed off her thighs. Was Chun-Li’s costume always this risqué…? Eun-bit as Wonder Woman. For reasons related to decency laws, details shall be omitted. And Aliya the succubus. Alongside Eun-bit. You can’t help but think these guys have devilishly wicked intentions. Their firm resolve is evident in their plans to not only secure some midnight snacks but also give me a heart attack with their audacious ambition, stimulating even the primal instincts of a man. Especially you, Yeon-hong. Is that really your physique? You embody the Chun-Li fighter, an epitome of healthy sexiness. A robust figure boasting a magnificent bust, hips, and sharply tapering thighs firm down to calves—she's truly Hong Kardashian. Of course, the sudden weight loss surgery she underwent to remove excess skin helped transform her body, but I had witnessed her relentless efforts and perspiration to refine her form from the high-quality Jeju black pig she was. I initially thought there was a third transformation left. But no. The thought crossed my mind that maybe this was our Hong’s final evolutionary form. But contrary to expectations, she seemed embarrassed by her more voluptuous and rhythmic samba-like physique compared to the other girls, unable to meet my eyes while nervously raising her eyebrows as if in emotional turmoil. With deliberate calmness, I tried warning them again. “Hurry up and change. This is really not okay.” Then that cheeky wink from Eun-bit followed with a smug smile. “Don’t know where to put your eyes, huh? Right? Right?” “Yoo Eun-bit, cut it out. I’m really going to get mad, you know?” I responded feignedly stern, but it wasn’t working at all. “Oh, look at you pretending to be mad because you’re all flustered.” Busted. “How did you know?” “Easy to tell with your eyes. Before you lie or joke around, you have that distinct look.” There’s such a thing? This kid knows something about me that even I don’t. Dangerous. “Why are you being so outdated, Myu-no?” Aliya considers me an old-fashioned conservative. “Some girl group stage outfits are far worse than this. Look at iContact. They perform wearing just lingerie!” “They are them, and this isn’t your concept. Especially not for you and Eun-bit.” “Oh-em-gee. How’re you going to survive water parks or beaches in the summer? If you saw Aliya in a bikini, you’d die from shock. You’re so outdated, like OG old.” “Manager’s only acting embarrassed, isn’t he?” Seo-won asked, and I admitted readily. “It’s not like embarrassment doesn’t play a part. Do you really want to go this far?” “Wow, you must be really flustered. Your face is blazing red.” This is a losing battle anyway. Better to concede before I get utterly humiliated. “Fine, whatever. Eat. Order anything you want to eat!” “Re-really? Then I want to change the menu. From brownies to Baskin Robbins…” “What’s this? A letdown.” “What were we even doing this for?” Yeon-hong’s joy was overshadowed by the disappointment of No. 1 and No. 2. Yona and Riya also expressed their regrets. “We were just doing it for fun…” “Myu-no, you’re mean. The sisters and Aliya went through all this effort changing, so let’s just do it!” Then followed a barrage of raw criticism like a carpet bombing. “Completely no fun.” “Manager, you realize you’re bad at reading the room, right?” “Selfish.” “Disappointment. Just do it already.” “Ma-manager, are you counting the biggest tub of Baskin Robbins as a single item?” “Coward.” “Petty.” “Small-minded.” “Just go for it, Myu-no!” “Eun-bit, I’ll handle the ice cream, so order the new menu from Kyochon.” No one was listening to Yeon-hong, and Yona made her case with adorable charm. “C’mon, let’s just do it. We even made a bet among ourselves.” “What’s the bet?” “Losers go out and pick up late-night snacks.” “Not just order in?” “Some things aren’t available for delivery.” “Just decide with rock-paper-scissors.” “Wow, Manager, you’re really no fun.” “You’re like Kim Jong-un! Down with the dictator!” “No fun! No fun!” “Hearing ‘no fun’ makes me want to spread strawberry jam on toast.” “Just do it already!” Oh boy. How can I win against these rascals? “Fine, do it, do it. It’s your loss, anyway. Just consider it as me giving in.” “Woohoo!” “Number one, step up!” Placing my finger on the heart rate monitor lens, Yona the Harley Quinn confidently stood before me as the first challenger as if the order had already been predetermined. I thought she'd appear last, so it was unexpected. Without any warning, I tapped the start button. “Start!” “Oh, that’s sneaky!” Momentarily flustered, she quickly stepped forward, standing just a fraction away from me. Our noses were nearly touching—a gap barely wide enough for a 1.5-liter bottle. Was it the scent of shampoo or the fragrance of cosmetics? The moist, lingering aroma of her recent shower tickled my nose. Chestnut-colored eyebrows matched to her hair, perfectly symmetrical double eyelids like decals, blue contact lenses, a sharp nose, and pink-tinted lips carefully applied. ―Thump thump thump thump What kind of trickery is this! You're a singer, and I'm your manager! Trying to maintain my composure, I thought of the benevolent Buddha and forced my eyes downward... Damn it, the fishnet stockings on those legs are even more provocative! Impressive! When I tried focusing there, it was the chest, and I couldn’t bear to look at the face, so instead, I set my gaze somewhere innocuous on her face, like the philtrum, blurring my focus as if looking at a magic eye puzzle. Yona tilted her head, speaking as if soothing a sulking boyfriend. “Why aren’t you looking at me? Hm? Hm?” “...” “Manager, you like me, don’t you?” “...” “Tell me, you like me, right? Hm?” Do not be tempted. This is all the seasoned performance of a highly-trained idol. I kept conjuring images of Maitreya and did not respond. “I like the Manager... as a man...” Even more heart-unfriendly questions followed. I clamped my mouth shut like a thief hiding a gold ring in his mouth and refused to answer. Still, the final heart rate recorded over one minute was 119! Call 911, you punks! “Yes, I won. What should I order, Hong Hong unnie?” “Of course, chicken first!” “Okay, chicken. Manager, send the second person out before your heart cools down!” “Uh, number two, go!” The Aztec Princess, Seo-won, appeared before my recovered pulse had a chance to settle. Her tactics were the same: face close, leading questions. The only difference was that the proximity was halved again from Yona’s already close distance. She glanced at me playfully, twisting her face, teasingly. “Wow, I can see your pores. Can I kiss your lips?” “Touch anything other than your hands, and you're disqualified.” “Well, then I'll take the disqualification.” “Ha, Han Seo-won, don't. Pizza, pizza...” “Oh dear, I let it slide for Hong's sake. Now that I think about it, I forgot I could hold your hand? Thanks, though.” ―Clasp She grabbed my hand. She even traced gentle circles with her fingernail while humming a tune. “Hum~ hum~ hum~ Look at your sweaty palms. Manager, you're really nervous.” Final score: 121. Next up was Yoo Eun-bit. I thought I was immune to this one, but... “Ha... Oh, you!” Defeated by exploiting the loophole of blowing air in my ears. Fourth was Aliya. “Hoo— Hoo— let’s go…” Succumbing to the same tactic as Eun-bit, the ear-blowing strategy. Last was the champion of the first “Heart-thumping Revolution with Fans,” our Hong. Preparing for complete defeat amidst this round of teasing, the game ended unexpectedly in 2 seconds with Hong’s disqualification. Trying to engage in the same close battle, she miscalculated the distance, and her chest unexpectedly brushed against mine. “Oh? Touched. Yeon-hong, disqualified!” “No, no! It didn’t touch!” “End!” “Ahhh, my ice cream! My dessert! Please, just one more time?” “Disqualified!” “Ohhh... I really wanted it…” “Hehe, have it.” “Huh? Really?” “What difference does it make to have one more ice cream here? Let’s just eat.” “Love you, God Manager! Truly, truly!” ―Hug! Heart-thumping Revolution, Kim Yun-ho Edition: 1 win, 4 losses. As soon as Trainer Jon Yun finds out, I’ll be delivering high-calorie late-night snacks, and a three-piece punch to my front teeth. Sometimes days like this are necessary. The important thing is that everyone gathered after a long time, laughing and chatting. We then indulged in beer as well, except the youngest members, laughing and joking until dawn. Falling into a deep sleep that morning. In my dream, there were Wonder Woman, Harley Quinn, Chun-Li, Aztec Mia, and the Succubus. And then, "Oh, what the hell is this…!" I had a wet dream. After cleaning up and changing my underwear, lying in bed, I felt such shame that tears nearly came to my eyes. *** Two days later at the recording of the “Girl Crush” round of 16 battle in front of an audience panel of 200 listeners. All the members attended to support Yona and Hong. The battle of ‘Yona VS Midori’ was third, and ‘Our Hong VS Nugg Ra Ra’ was seventh. With time still available, Hong was practicing in the car with Jang Woo, while Yona waited in the dressing room, preparing her voice. “Yona, please stand by backstage!” “Yes!” After the first battle ended, the signal for Yona to standby was sent. The stylist performed a final check on hair and makeup, and Yona exchanged high-fives with the backup dancers, promising a good performance. Capturing those moments in photos, I stepped into the hall corridor ahead. Yona followed close behind, and I offered a light-hearted joke to ease the tension. "Not nervous at all, right?" "Yes." "Can't wait to get on stage, huh?" "Yes." Yona answered each question, smiling and giving me a bright-eyed grin. Yes, how commendable. Having completed her practice perfectly until the day before, today she hadn’t looked at the lyrics or sung at all outside rehearsal. Not a trace of nerves. And if she was nervous, she was surely enjoying it. ―――――――――― ―Title/Name: Leader I Yona ―Vocals: 67/75 ―Rap: 63/80 ―Choreography: 77/90 ―Stage Presence: 88/100 ―Crisis Management: 88/100 ―Variety Sense: 27/40 ―Acting Ability: 73/90 ―――――――――― < Not an Inn, a Cinema > Apologies to Beacon-hyung, but perhaps this is why they say one should play in a bigger pond. In just the last two weeks of mentoring and partnership with Jagdu, Yona's rap stat increased by 10 points. “Manager.” “Huh?” While the backup dancers and stylist were not yet with us, Yona called me over with a meaningful look and playfully asked, “What will you do for me if I win today?” I matched her playfulness with my own response. “What do you want? Just say the word.” “Hmm... let's go to the movies.” “Inn? Why an inn?” “Pfft, no silly, I said movies, the cinema.” Stupid perverted thoughts, get out of my head. Stop popping up at any random moment. “Oh, the movies. Sure, why not, that’s easy enough.” “Just us two.” “Oh... just the two of us?” “Yeah. For a late-night show.” “Fine, sure.” I answered nonchalantly, but my heart was already racing from the unexpected heart-attack-inducing proposal. Could this be a date? I nervously added, “...What will we tell the others?” “We’ll just say we’re practicing.” “Nuh...” Yona, don’t do this. I'm your manager, and you’re an artist. The stylist and dancers joined us, cutting off our conversation. When we reached backstage, the second battle's first performance had just begun. A male staff member came over to place the mic receiver on Yona’s back pocket. Yona didn’t forget her manners. “Thank you.” My mind was still fixating on our earlier conversation. Why on earth. A movie, just the two of us. And at such a late hour, no less. Is there something she needs to say? If so, terrace beer night would suffice. Maybe she just wants some fresh air. Hold on. Don't be careless. She’s the leader of Upkey Girl. It could be a hidden camera prank. After so many such experiences, I’ve developed a tendency to suspect hidden cameras at the slightest oddity. A moment later, the second battle's second performance concluded, and finally, it was Yona’s turn. Her opponent Midori was likely waiting on the opposite stage. Yona and Midori had exchanged bright greetings during rehearsal, as if they’d never dissed each other. That's just how broadcasts work. Mentor Jagdu began introducing Yona. “Yona isn’t originally in the rapper position. Still, maybe because she’s been a trainee from a young age, she has strong rhythm and vocal clarity, and her understanding of rap is exceptional. During the preliminary cypher, Midori underestimated Yona by calling her an idol and got owned in return. Today, she’ll drive that point home on the stage.” “Excellent! Here now is Jagdu’s mentee Yona’s stage performance, starting right away!” “Yona’s team, please enter!” “One, two, three, fighting!” “Fighting!” “Yona, do well.” “Yeah!” I moved to the side of the stage to start recording. The stage lit up brightly for a moment, then darkened again. The audience fell into complete silence. Once Yona and the backup dancers took their positions, the room filled with murmurs just as the familiar beats of Jagdu, which had been drilled into my ears for days, began to play, followed by cheers. On the screen behind the stage flashed the song information. Title: I doll (Prod. by Jagdu) Lyrics: Jagdu, Yona Composition: Jagdu “Waaaaah!” Jagdu, known as the leader of Allegory Crew, reputed for having the trendiest and most sophisticated hip-hop in Korea. Yona weaved her autobiographical narrative of starting as a trainee and growing into a current idol, using the doll metaphor on Jagdu’s fresh and lively beats. < Not an Inn, a Cinema > End