144 - Upki Girl

< You Gave Me False Expectations > "Encore! Encore! Encore!" As the second song ended, the promised encore requests flooded in. The kids responded with a skit. "Oh my, what a surprise. We never expected an encore in our wildest dreams! Right, Seowon?" "Wow, it's truly astonishing. To think we'd get an encore. Hong-ah, aren’t you thrilled?" "Yes, I'm really happy. What song should we perform to really impress? I’m so anxious." "Hmm. I just received telepathy from the soldier oppas that they want to hear Yonna unnie's 'I doll!' Is that right, oppas?" "Yes!" "Do you really want it?" "Yes!" "Then, only the oppas who love Eunbit can scream!" "Wowowowow!" Such an abrupt, self-serving comment. "Oppas who love Seowon, take off your hats and scream!" "Woooooo!" A showdown of possessiveness, what on earth. The skilled hosting by the kids, who even seemed to drum and dance uninterrupted, made the male and female hosts point at them while laughing like those kids were something special. Even though reactions are usually good at troop performances, this level of response felt exceptional. It showed on the faces of the filming crew. "Then, while Yonna unnie prepares the 'I doll' stage, we’ll perform a rice cake dance in the back!" Either slice rice cakes or dance, don’t try both. It seemed like they were going for a classic Korean joke, but it got jumbled up – a cute blunder of youth. But our Baekdu-in (division name) found even those mistakes adorable, curling in delight. Today was a day when Upkey Girl could do no wrong. As promised, the encore stage for Yonna's girl-crush competition song "I doll" began, and the atmosphere soared to its peak. Hong doubled as a sub-rapper beside her, Liya got lost in her solo dance world, and Eunbit and Seowon stood at either side of the stage, encouraging the soldiers to their feet for a standing performance. "What are you doing? Everyone get up!" "Let’s all have fun!" This makes things inevitably stressful for Eye Contact, who was up next. Already waiting below the stage, Kim Seokwon, still in the waiting room, muttered his discontent—loud enough for me to hear. "Oh, what's with the encore? What are the later performers supposed to do if we run over time?" "I heard you can do up to three encore songs. Besides, you were the one who asked to change the performance order." Seemingly at a loss for words, he glared once and sealed his lips tightly. Meanwhile, the song moved into its second chorus. Distracted momentarily by Kim Seokwon, my gaze returned to the monitor screen, when—wait a minute? Where did everyone go, leaving Alia alone on stage, pouring her soul into the dance? "What's going on? Where’s everyone else?" Jang Woo responded. "Looks like they went down below the stage." "Huh?" Because it was an unexpected situation, the camera switched angles a beat late, soon capturing the scene of the four kids mingling with soldiers in the audience, creating a club-like atmosphere. "Unbelievable, it's chaos." Jang Woo and I rushed out of the waiting room, worried the kids might face some unwanted physical contact. Still, soldiers were maintaining a safe distance on their own. You'd expect at least one overzealous guy, but it was the military, after all. It was the first time our kids ventured down below the stage. In events like these, girl groups are often advised not to hold hands to avoid the risk of being dragged down. Before, there was an incident where Eunbit almost got pulled off stage by a fan when she held out her hand. Knowing this, the kids were making a scene obviously to mess with Eye Contact. Wow, they really prepared for this. "See you next time!" "Soldiers rock!" "Thank you!" "Yeah, whether it's visuals or skill, and even their stage manners! Upkey Girl, the perfect daughter group, everyone give them a big hand!" Even in an Upkey Girl's solo concert, such a response wouldn’t be expected. The male host gave a thumbs-up to the exiting kids, and the female MC continued her introduction. "Now, let’s bring up the next guest performers to heat up the atmosphere even more." "I love introducing this group the most. The response is always explosive. These ladies will fire up the hearts of the 21st Army Division soldiers! No one deserves the title of Military Queens more than Eye Contaaaact!" "Wooow!" Wow, what's going on? Their reception’s really intense! Kim Seokwon's confidence wasn't just bluster. As the MC said, they might just elevate the energy we built up even more, considering the deafening cheers. A banner with Eye Contact's name was visible in the audience. "We're back." "Oh, great job. It’s really cold, isn’t it?" "Wow, my nose is freezing." "Warm up quickly, warm up." Back in the waiting room, Upkey Girl members huddled in their padded jackets around the heater, warming themselves up. Although they were deliberately ignoring Eye Contact's performance on the monitor, the cheers were loud enough to affect them. Kim Seokwon stood among Eye Contact's staff, arms crossed, watching the monitor with a smug look. Sneaking a glance at Eye Contact’s stage, I found myself involuntarily gaping. What’s with Kim Seokwon? Is he out of his mind? Eye Contact's stage costumes, hidden beneath their ostrich feather coats, were, unbelievably enough, bare-legged. I brushed past it earlier, unsure, but seeing them shoeless confirmed it. In this freezing weather that can freeze tears and snot in seconds, not only did they wear shorts, but they were on stage with bare legs and feet, without even stockings. "Shouldn't this be reported to the Labor Department?" While it might be a testament to their professionalism, there are limits. Rather than respect, I felt sympathy. What was more pitiful was the soldiers' reaction to Eye Contact. The ecstatic atmosphere that naturally elicited cheers gradually became lukewarm. As the performance progressed, the provocative costumes and explicit sexy choreography became routine. Though some sang along and there were occasional exclamations, the reactions were politely mechanic—typical of a military performance. Quite a contrast from the enthusiastic response Upkey Girl received. I'm such a softie. When did they become so detestable, and now, seeing them soundly defeated, pity stirred within me. However, that fleeting sympathy vanished entirely during Eye Contact's next performance. Their second song, "Revenge," was rumored to have lyrics targeting Yonna. "It's actually better; we don't need someone like you. Hmm, hmm, hmm." I was tempted to deliver a sharp elbow to Kim Seokwon's back as he sang along mockingly. "Oh, right, everyone." Seeing Upkey Girl’s faces turn icy, I changed the topic. "The producer asked if you could do a few more songs?" "Why?" After explaining the situation, the girls agreed readily, happy for the chance since they were just getting warmed up. After Eye Contact's stage, a simple game involving soldiers and their families took place. This gave the hosts a little extra time, but only about 10 minutes. Alperta was supposedly running 20–30 minutes late, but it was likely a manager’s typical exaggeration; realistically, they'd arrive as soon as possible, perhaps 30 minutes at most. With Eye Contact and the other performers gone, Upkey Girl had to take the stage again. Amidst the production team, including the PD and writers, practically kneeling in apology, Upkey Girl scraped together MR CDs from the car and pieced together a performance set. Since they decided to help out, they even changed into stage costumes again, offering a sensational service by returning to the stage. Naturally, the soldiers were ecstatic to the point of frenzy. "What would we have done without the girl-crush songs?" "Exactly." The undeniable star of their second round on stage was Hong. Having a setlist of five songs from her girl-crush competition repertoire, she could easily fill a slot. Writer Song Jiseon even suggested canceling Alperta’s stage and letting Hong do the finale solo, seriously pitching the idea to the PD. Though it didn't materialize, it was a feasible scenario. "Winap," which introduced Hong to the world by metaphorically breaking the skulls of misogynists, was undoubtedly the highlight of today’s stage. (U know?) Korean police are men! (U know?) Korean soldiers are men! (U know?) Firefighters are men, and those who protect us in danger are men! The soldiers loudly echoed the word "men" as if releasing stress. For "ANDING," which Flanel featured in the finals, Eunbit, Seowon, and Yonna took over Flanel’s parts, performing together. Liya, dancing freestyle with a ghost-like fervor as though haunted by an anti-dancing spirit, suddenly descended from the stage, planted a chair at the very front row of the audience, and switched to audience mode. Jang Woo and I joined her there. "Rangkangkang." "Hmm?" "This is so much fun!" "Do you like it?" "Yeah! Let’s come back for troop performances!" "Sure." "I even bought various types of Maxim coffee to give to the soldiers as a thanks return gift!" "Maxim? Where did you get that idea?" "Bitbit unnie researched online. Nowadays, Maxim is the best for soldiers." That makes sense. From the moment their military performance was confirmed, the kids prepared gifts for the soldiers. It was Hong’s idea. While writing the lyrics for "Winap," Hong read two to three books daily on feminism and related subjects, leading her to feel Korean men deserved respect just for their mandatory military service. The other four members, except for Liya, were at the typical enlistment age for men, which resonated deeply with them. Liya said she’d handle the preparation through a vendor, but Hong chose the path of personal touch, hand-packaging each gift. Cutting into her sleep, she prepared boxes filled with hand warmers, Upkey Girl merch, cosmetics, snacks, and completed 500 boxes with 100 each for each member. Additionally, with 15 people from the Hum Hum Hum staff and trainers, everyone prepared 100 more each, totaling 2,000 brigade-grade gifts. They were scheduled to arrive today through Liya’s delivery route, with Maxim coffee strategically slipped inside. But wait, isn’t it a restricted item in the military? "Liya, as far as I know, you can’t bring in Maxim. If caught, you'll be sent to the brig—like a prison inside the military." "Really? Military places are truly unreasonable. Even elementary students can buy it, yet adults can't have it?" "Well, yeah... the military here is kinda closed off." "Then we need to have it pulled." Liya immediately called Kaeshi to explain the situation, but the delivery truck had already reached the base. Jang Woo went off to speak with an official about it. "Is it very cold out there?" The host asked Upkey Girl, who just finished singing without Alia. Eunbit, her lips too frozen to articulate well, responded. "Yes, it's very cold. But our soldier oppas break ice and train in weather like this all the time. Thinking of that, I don't think I can say it's cold at all. Not cold at all! Loyalty loyalty!" "Wowww!" "How could anyone not like these girls, who are beautiful even at heart? Aren’t they just lovely?" "Yes!" "So, from today, does the title of 'Military Princess' go to Upkey Girl?" "Yes!" "Great! Oh, I got a message from the production crew. Alberta—oops, sorry. They're close friends so I tend to speak informally. Alberta just arrived. Those rascals are in for a scolding." "Calm down, Mr. Kwon Jung-seok. Everyone, please give another warm round of applause to the next-generation Military Princesses, Upkey Girl, for enduring the cold weather!" "Goddess Girl! Goddess Girl!" "Goddess Girl! Goddess Girl!" "Thank you! Have a wonderful time!" Fortunately, Alberta arrived just before the girls reached their limits. Even though the recording schedule had officially ended, since it wasn't a live broadcast, their performance went ahead. After their stage, Alberta came directly to the van where the girls were resting, expressing gratitude and apologies. They even offered complimentary featuring services for future use. After taking a commemorative photo and bidding them farewell, the girls settled into their seats and fell into a deep sleep. "You truly did great. Let's skip practice and head straight to the dorm today." "No... we have to practice..." "Too stubborn, Yonna unnie..." "Jang Woo, just head to the dorms. Practicing today will wear them out too much." "But we have to... practice..." Yonna didn’t even finish her sentence before she drifted off to sleep. Within five minutes of the car moving, the others also fell asleep. "Oh, by the way, hyung. It seems Maxim is allowed here?" "Oh, really? It’s okay?" "Yes. A security officer at the checkpoint confirmed it was okay." "It wasn’t allowed before, right?" "Yeah, back in my day, we had to sneak it in." "As Liya said, it's ridiculous to regulate something even elementary kids can buy." "True." --- The next day. A post about Upkey Girl, written by one of the troop entertainment staff, spread across social media and community sites. Within hours, another post by a soldier who attended the performance became a hot topic. ―――――――― [Joker Web Humor Board BEST] Story of Receiving Maxim as a Gift from a Current Girl Group Posted by: WangsimniDdaljaengi Recommended 413 / Views 37,699 / Comments 1,252 Yesterday, a troop entertainment event came to our base, and a group called Upkey Girl performed. Yeah, they're what's hot right now, the god-group. Anyway, you can hear all that elsewhere. What I'm here to tell is a different kind of peculiarity. I helped with the event, so I watched from the very front row. There, one of their youngest members and a guy who seemed like a manager talked? Apparently, they sent all kinds of Maxim to the base, not knowing it was banned. This month’s Maxim cover model is who? Kim In-na. Ugh, those idiots just gave us false expectations. Why’d they send something they weren’t supposed to and then make such a fuss? As I walked into the living quarters, lo and behold! There was a box in front of each locker. And inside was a note—mine was from a notorious spelling villain. [Photo of the Note] Soldier Ajusshi, listen up. Alia thinks she can stretch out and sleep comfortably because it’s all thanks to you ajusshis. Thank you for protecting Alia and the people. I've put MAXIM for you to enjoy. Since I didn’t know which one you’d like, I put all the ones I could find. Even the newly released this month. Although it's a luxury item, too much of anything isn’t good, so enjoy it moderately. There should have been signs of tampering if it was censored, but the box was pristine. Both seniors and juniors tore into it like starved zombies digging into entrails, and oh my... oh my... White Gold, Mocha Gold Mild, Mocha Gold Light, Simple Latte, Original, Arabica 100, Decaf, Smooth Black Mix (divided into Original, Mocha Gold, and Arabica 100), Ice, Ice Black, Mocha Latte, Caramel Macchiato, Cappuccino Vanilla, Cappuccino Hazelnut... Every coffee Maxim makes was in there. What's the intention behind this? I’m looking up fan sign event info to confront them about it. If there’s a fellow Upkey Girl fan among us, please share some intel. Can you believe how frustrated I was to write this at a PC café the moment I got leave? ―――――――― "Sigh... Yoo Eun-bit, come here." < You Gave Me False Expectations > End