182 - Upki Girl

< Legendream Show > 182. Legendream Show SMAP, a renowned Japanese idol group featuring members like Takuya Kimura and Tsuyoshi Kusanagi (Chonangang), transcended the typical idol status to become Japan's national singers. Naturally, they influenced many producers and groups in Korea as well. One such group, celebrating its 20th anniversary this year, is the first-generation boy band 'Legendream.' They embraced the marketing strategy of being the 'Korean SMAP' and achieved great success. Although the title of 'National Idol' was snatched by 'H5,' who debuted a year earlier under the same KU Entertainment, Legendream found success in music, variety shows, acting, and musicals. As the only first-generation idol group to maintain continuous team activities without disbandment or hiatus, they are often looked up to by their juniors in the industry. In keeping with their SMAP benchmark, they created a variety show modelled on SMAP's 'SMAPxSMAP,' now airing its 7th season on a cable channel, titled the 'Legendream Show.' Although a scriptwriter is present, the show's content is famously planned and produced by the six Legendream members in rotation. As it's not aired on terrestrial TV, the ratings aren't high, but this allows for more freedom in content, leading to the creation of numerous legendary moments and clips over the past 7 years. These days, they also run internet broadcasts featuring both live webcasts and recorded broadcast versions. The viewership averages around 30,000 people, and fans seem to prefer the uncensored live broadcasts. The Upkey Girls also expressed envy and admiration for the Legendream Show, aspiring to one day have a variety show named after their team. One typical afternoon during Replay Girls' practice... “Hello, this is Legendream’s Woo Min-o, contacting you through chat.” “Yes, hello, senior. This is Kim Yoon-ho, the manager of Upkey Girls.” “Are you available for a call right now?” “Yes, I’m free.” Woo Min-o from 'Legendream Show' reached out directly, expressing interest in featuring Eunbit. He is this episode’s planner and main MC. Being older than me, I naturally referred to him as a senior as I continued the conversation. The current recording theme is labeled 'Next-Gen Variety Stars.' Each Legendream member introduces their nominee for rising variety stars, leading to challenges and penalties. Woo Min-o noticed Eunbit’s variety potential during the Replay Girls' Athletic Meet episode and exclaimed his admiration. He even monitored shows Eunbit appeared on and Upkey Girls’ web broadcasts to showcase his dedication. “Eunbit is precisely the character I’ve been looking for. Are you available tomorrow?” “Yes, we can do it tomorrow. Even if we had another schedule, we would make room for it, as our members really love your program.” Eunbit was already fond of this show, and the schedule didn’t clash with Replay Girls, so I agreed willingly. “That’s a relief. We plan to show up unannounced, asking for general knowledge quizzes and special skills. Not letting Eunbit know could make for amusing content.” “Ah… Eunbit is terrible at quizzes though…” “That makes it even funnier. You know the capability level of our members.” “Should I separate Eunbit from the rest?” “That shouldn’t matter unless for group promotion it’d be better for everyone to be present.” “Yes, we’d appreciate having all members involved.” “Thank you. We appreciate how Upkey Girls’ popularity is rising lately. Also, are you aware our show will be live-streamed on web TV?” “Yes, I’m aware.” “Our writer will contact you soon to arrange the recording schedule.” Famed for their quirkiness and boundless nature, Legendream is expected to have entertaining chemistry with our children. The following day. Before the girls arrived at the office, cameras for recording were set up. Later, the production team and Legendream members, holding action cameras, burst into the dance studio in the midst of practice. As they barged in through the doors, they immediately began ad-libbing to secure content time. “Wow, a girl group practice room!” “Even the smell is different.” “There they are, Upkey Girls!” “They’re so cute!” Some members made mildly mischievous jokes. “Upkey Girls, since this is a live broadcast, please smoke or drink outside the studio.” “What’s left in a girl group if you take away drinking and smoking?” “There’s always swearing, right?” I hadn’t informed Eunbit or the other members about this schedule. After freezing for about 2 seconds, they realized it was the Legendream Show's live broadcast and let out pterodactyl screeches. “Kyahhh!” “Wow, isn’t this the Legendream Show? Right?” “Who’s the member named Eunbit?” “Me! It’s meee!” “Oooh, lots of energy here!” “Eddie, you don’t know Upkey Girls?” “I’m not familiar with the latest idols.” “They’re super famous nowadays. Replay Girls.” “Hey. Eddie’s an old-timer, give him a break.” Though older than me, they seemed to age with charisma. Some members were shorter than expected, yet they hadn’t lost their celebrity aura. After a chaotic surprise intro shoot, Woo Min-o explained the concept briefly. “The theme of this episode is ‘Discover the Next Variety Star,’ and I recommended Eunbit.” “Really? Thank you!” “There’ll be simple battles with our members, so just take it easy as you usually do. Even if you lose, only I will get the penalty, so no pressure.” “No, senior! If I lose, I’ll take the penalty! The essence of games is the penalty!” “That’s the spirit of a true prospect.” After setting up the broadcast microphones, the filming officially began. I logged into the live W app to monitor the real-time reactions of viewers. The number of participants had already surpassed 30,000. Since we had just posted about the filming on the Upkey Girls fan café and social media, the numbers were bound to increase even more. "One, two, three!" "Hello to all the Legendream Show viewers! The girl group you’ve raised..." "We’re the Upkey Girls!" "Wow!" The girls officially greeted the live audience and then performed a song they had previously showcased during Replay Girls’ performances, eliciting a very positive response. Once the team introductions were over, it was time for Eunbit, today’s budding variety star, to have her solo shoot. "No variety show is complete without it. Shall we try some general knowledge quizzes?" The Legendream members, having already heard that Eunbit was terrible at quizzes, started setting the tone for what was about to come. "Gone are the days when you had to overreact or play dumb on variety shows." "Exactly. People in variety and comedians have to be incredibly sharp. Quick wit and general knowledge about society are essential." "Absolutely." While they spoke earnestly, it wouldn’t be entertaining if Eunbit actually got all the answers right. What they truly wanted were moments where she confused easy questions or went on nonsensical tangents—Eunbit’s specialty. Drawing from the information I’d shared with him, Woo Min-o began the interview. "I've heard Eunbit studies general knowledge extensively? That you read a lot of G.K. books?" "Yes. I make time to review them whenever possible." "Then you must know capitals well?" "Capitals of countries?" "Yes." "Yup yup! That’s my specialty!" She does know quite a bit. Beyond the capitals of well-known countries and regions like Europe, she even covers South America and Africa. The problem is that she frequently mixes up syllables, confuses words, and turns it into her own version of a quiz game. But she's certainly amusing. With confidence, she asked for a challenge. "Give me a difficult one!" "Shall we start lightly with Canada, then?" Legendream member Choigang tossed a practice question, sparking the start of Eunbit’s nonsensical answer spree. "Ohtani!" That’s a baseball player. "What’s the capital of Spain?" "Whoo! Portugal!" A bizarre mix of Madrid and Cristiano Ronaldo. "Why Portugal? How about the Czech Republic?" "Easy. Prada!" The Czech Republic must make great bags. "Australia." "Australia, Vienna!" Until recently, she thought Australia and Austria were the same country, and it seems she's still confused. "Jeju Island." "Ha-ha, I’m from Jeju! The capital of the beautiful Jeju Island is Seogwipo City!" That was a joke about Jeju, but Eunbit answered seriously, which resulted in uproarious laughter. Dong-yoon, Legendream’s variety genius, had to call a time-out. “Wait, wait... I think she's doing this on purpose. It’s too obvious!” Eunbit, unaware of her faux pas, looked confused while her fellow Upkey Girls quickly defended her. “No, that’s just how Eunbit is!” “Right! She’s kind of lacking, but she’s not smart enough to deliberately make mistakes for laughs.” “Of course! Our Eunbit is doing her best; why these conspiracy theories?” “We’re sorry... Please, just end this...” A desperate defense that, inadvertently, showcased their lovable flaws, left the Legendream members no choice but to accept it. “Although I can see why they’d think that way; Seogwipo was quite shocking...” “Kekeke, isn’t it clear from just the start that this show will be a hit?” The real-time chat was ablaze with debates. A heated discussion was unfolding around whether Eunbit was intentionally being funny or genuinely confused. "Alright, let’s move on to proverbs. I’ll say the first part, and Eunbit will finish it." "Ah... I’m not too familiar with proverbs, but I’ll give it my best shot! Hoo, hoo!" "Okay, we’ll start with something simple. ‘No smoke without...’?" “...a fire!” "‘Two heads are...’?" “...better than one!” "‘Even a hedgehog...’?" “...finds its own young cute!” Eunbit, initially tense, burst out brightly with answers akin to those for primary schoolers when faced with easy questions. Yet, as the questions grew tougher, her voice softened and nonsense began to spill out. "If you’re going to do something...?" "...do it...right?" "If you’re going to do something, it’s better to...?" "Ah! Better a bird in the hand than two in the bush...” Mixed up. “Hahaha!” “Ha, water that's too clear...?” “...makes the lower water clear.” Mixed again. Even the staff started reacting. The filming VJ bit his lip to suppress his laughter. With everyone around her laughing, even Eunbit began to suspect her answers might be wrong and switched to full-on comedy mode. “Old friends are like?” “But never stand surety!” “At someone else’s feast?” “Eat without paying!” “A crow flies by?” “The magpie leaves the nest.” "In the melon field?" "Complain that you want apples." “Puhahaha!” I tried answering alongside her, but answers didn’t come to me easily. With some calm thought, I could figure them out, but asked on the spot, my mind blanked. Yet thanks to Eunbit, she turned even her wrong answers into entertainment, something others might falter at or lose timing over. Or, if it were someone else, they might have simply given the right answer... Despite the seemingly incoherent answers, Woo Min-o, who had recommended Eunbit as a promising talent, was delighted from the outset as things were unfolding as he had hoped. His face beamed with joy, clapping his hands like an excited seal. “Eunbit’s line about ‘better a bird in the hand than two in the bush’ is golden.” “And ‘say you want apples in the melon field’ was hilarious, haha!” “She’s practically on our level!” Eunbit’s humor was hitting the mark. Spurred on by the enthusiastic applause from Legendream, she started showcasing her individual skills. She demonstrated Taekkyeon, mimicked Hong’s rap, showed some Capoeira, and did dance impressions, unleashing the bag of tricks she had been gathering over time. The moves were far from perfect, being rather clumsy and awkward, yet the chat—now swollen to over 40,000 viewers—was filled with heart emojis and laughter, almost causing the system to lag. “Oh, my! This is hilarious. Do you have more?” “Um... I can mimic the voice of Kim Bu-seon from the movie ‘Maltucket Street.’” “Hahaha, just seeing your face is funny now. Go ahead.” And so began her rendition of the persuasive snack shop lady. “Ahah, seeing Hyun-soo reminds me of the past a lot... I wanted to do so much back then, too... Hyun-soo, do what you want.” “Hahaha! What is this!” “Hohohoho!” “A talent vending machine! Come on, show us more!” “Lee Young-ae from ‘One Fine Spring Day.’” “Let’s go! Let’s go!” “Do you... want to have some ramen?” “Why do you end every sentence with a breath like a ghost, haha!” “Anything else?” “Um... let me think for a moment.” While Eunbit took a short break, Woo Min-o turned the focus to the other members seated by the mirror. “Do the other members have any skills to show off?” “Me, me!” Hong was the first to raise her hand. What’s gotten into this shy one? I wondered if she had prepared a freestyle rap in the meantime... “I’m good at wrestling.” Out of nowhere, a declaration of strength. “Wrestling? All of a sudden?” “You want to wrestle us?” Everyone looked puzzled, but Woo Min-o, who had watched the Replay Girls’ Athletic Meet, backed her up. “That’s right. Hong here won a wrestling championship. Why don’t you take on Kang?” “I mean, as weak as I am, I wouldn’t lose to a girl.” “This sounds fun, let’s do it. If Kang loses, coffee’s on him.” “Oh, come on, you guys are really underestimating me. I’m all for gender equality, you know. I won’t hold back just because she’s a girl, okay?” “Sure, sure...” Jang-woo and I laid a safety mat from the acrobatics practice on the ground to prepare for the match. Following Hong’s wrestling showdown, Seowon’s staring contest, Yona’s word chain game, Aliyah’s ‘Of Course!’ game, and a group speed quiz unfolded... Before we knew it, Eunbit’s showcase had morphed into an ‘Upkey Girls vs. Legendream’ team match. Articles began to pop up: “‘Upkey Girl’ Eunbit: ‘Spain’s capital is Portugal, hooray!’” “‘Legendream Show’ voter star Eunbit, hilarious cluelessness...” “‘Legendream’ Choigang suffers 2:1 defeat against ‘Upkey Girl’ Yeonhong in wrestling match” “‘Upkey Girl’ Jinliya to 22-year-older Eddie during ‘Of Course!’ game: ‘Sir, even at forty, you haven’t lost your hair?’” “‘Legendream’ Woo Min-o: ‘Upkey Girls is not an idol group, but a group of rocks and i’s’” *** It was 4:23 a.m., even before dawn. I unexpectedly awoke without knowing why. I hadn’t dreamed, nor was there any noise, yet suddenly, my eyes opened. Was it because I had moved to a different room in the side house yesterday? As I got up for a glass of water... “Jeez, Seh-bakkobuk!” Eunbit’s face flashed through my mind like lightning, and I unconsciously murmured her name. It was the first deep, connective intuition I had felt in a while. Was something happening to Eunbit? I hurriedly threw on a padded jacket and headed toward the main building of the dorm. My intuition was right. There, Eunbit sat in the kitchen on the first floor, illuminated by just a small auxiliary light, drinking alone. Straight soju, without any snacks. She’d emptied about two-thirds of a soju bottle on the table. “Hey, what are you doing by yourself?” “Ah, you scared me. Oppa...?” “What are you doing?” < End of Legendream Show >