184 - Upki Girl

< The Raccoon Man Doesn't Exist > ―Sssk, Fwooshhh... Shiiiik, Krrhh... The sound of Hongi's snoring, reminiscent of a father who has collapsed from exhaustion without even washing up after a long day of work, could be heard from the entrance of the basement stairs. “Hey, go down first and put on Yona's pants.” “I think Yonny has started wearing pants to bed now. Ever since oppa moved his room.” That impish Yony who claimed she couldn't sleep with clothes on... Without hesitation, I descended the stairs and flicked on the light switch next to the open door. ―Beep “A strong and mighty dawn! Rise and shine!” “Kuhhh!” Like a well-conditioned private in the army, Hongi was the first to respond, sitting up straight, quickly followed by the others who were startled awake. Yona, adjusting the new indoor glasses she had recently acquired, asked, "Chief, why are you here…?" “Whether you know it or not, unfortunately, our poor Siba received their first hate comment! Everyone, get up so we can support them at full power!” With that, Mijeol Fox shrieked and flopped back down. “Geez, I thought something really bad happened! You scared me! Ugh!” “What the heck? You ungrateful thing, how much did Siba comfort you when you got hate comments? Aren't you getting up? Riya, don't cover your head with the blanket again!” “Emgotmyunmyun, if we’re talking hate comments, Alia has been to hell and back a few times in recent days. And I'm super sleepy because I haven’t even slept for 30 minutes yet…” “Stop lying, you liar. How can someone who's been asleep for only 30 minutes not notice Eunbiti drinking soju alone?” “What the…? Lightlight sister was sleeping next to Alia. Alia was dozing off while touching Lightlight sister’s chest. She told Alia not to touch a certain spot because her nipples got sensitive, and Alia even replied to her. Right, Lightlight sister?” “Why do you have to bring stuff like that up…” Only then did the kids turn their attention to Eunbiti standing beside me. Siba was so apologetic for causing a ruckus early in the morning that they couldn’t even lift their head. “What’s going on? Just saying it makes me feel like there's a real booze smell. Yu Eunbiti, did you really drink alone over the comments?” Under Seowon’s sharp questioning, Gobuki became even more dejected. I grabbed the sagging shoulders and asked gently, “What did they say happens when you share worries?” “They get smaller.” “What do you want the other members to do for you?” “I’d like everyone to comfort me…” Eunbiti finally opened up sincerely. “It's my first time receiving hate comments, and it was a big shock. And I realized something else; I’ve probably been giving too formal consolations to the sisters and Riya. Experiencing it firsthand is no joke…” Hongi, as if hearing it for the first time, asked again, “What? You got hate comments too? What did you do wrong?” “They said they’re uncomfortable with how ignorant I am. Mentioning that even kindergarteners know what I don’t, so maybe I should quit school and just be a celebrity…” “Really? Why would they say that? Today’s shoot was so much fun. But I got hate comments too. People saying to stop unnecessarily hyping someone not even famous, and how it’s disgusting.” Hongi began boasting about negative comments aimed at the Up Kigirl entity. “They said I have a face that kills men. What kind of face is that even? Are they saying I look like a murderer or what? What am I supposed to do about being born like this?” “I’m criticized for my obvious attempts to look pretty on stage. Like, what do they expect? Should I deliberately try to look ugly on stage?” “They said if their sister or girlfriend did to Emgotmyunmyun what Alia did, they’d half-kill them. They’ve never even experienced it from me…” Needless to say, these comments were harsher than those received by Eunbiti. But that’s not the main issue here. I steered the conversation back to its primary focus. “Alright, listen up. The important thing here isn’t about who gets the worst hate comments, but that Eunbiti is shocked because it’s their first time experiencing this. So, let’s have everyone step forward, hug Eunbiti, and give them comfort.” “Oh, come on, this is so childish. Don't you always say you hate cringey stuff, Chief? You seem to secretly enjoy this.” I pointed a firm finger like an FBI director reprimanding an agent and warned Hankana sternly. “Han Seowon, if you complain one more time, you’ll be sleeping alone in the annex.” The leader was the first to come forward and hug Eunbiti. Interestingly, she repeated the words of comfort I had shared with Siba in the kitchen earlier, but in her own style. “I’m sorry, Eunbiti. I didn’t know. Our little Gobuki must’ve had a tough time, oh Goo Goo.” “I’m okay with it, but I’m sorry that the other members were treated the same way.” “There will always be people who dislike what we do, no matter what. Don’t let it get to you and just move on. The haters probably can’t even remember what they wrote anyway. Keeping it in mind only harms us, okay?” “Yes, it’s still hard, but I’ll try to work on it. Thank you, Yonn Leader.” Next up was our Hong. “Since ‘Girl Crush,’ I don’t really read comments. We’re already busy enough caring about fans who actually come to see us. Why waste time listening to those who don’t like us? And if I’m really doing something wrong, the Chief and the company will set me straight.” “Thank you, Honghong Unni.” Next was Alia. “Lightlight Unni, Alia’s getting grilled right now, so let’s hold on together. If worse comes to worst, let’s sue them to make Reality hit them hard.” “Life is real.” “Yon Mana.” “Puhahaha, thanks, Riya-ya.” “You’re welcome.” Sliding her hand under the T-shirt— “Kyaa! I told you not to touch there! You’re too skilled!” What’s with the maknae’s finger skills? “Oh gosh, the smell of booze.” Finally, the Ice Fox embraced Siba, marking the end of this hugging ceremony. "Yu Eunbiti, you're usually so absurdly positive, but when it comes to things like this, you crack easily, huh?" "I'm terrified of people criticizing me." "You know how people say those who've eaten meat before eat it best? It's the same with hate. You get used to it the more you get. So just keep taking it until you're immune. You've only just started, okay?" "Yes..." Was that comfort or mockery... "Look at Hongi during Girl Crush. She got so much hate that she eventually became shameless and doesn't even get mad anymore. She could live for a thousand years on the hate she’s received, staying completely healthy." One-shot Hongi, what an insight. I didn’t hesitate to flash the red card. "Han Seowon, you're disqualified. Step away from Siba right now." "Oh come on, I'm just sharing my know-how." "Is that meant as comfort? It's like telling someone who's choking to keep eating until it pushes through." Whenever food is mentioned, like clockwork, Hong suddenly chimes in. Like meeting an old classmate you haven’t seen in ages, she clapped her hands and raised her voice. "Wow, amazing! That's actually how I deal with indigestion, Chief! When I'm stuffed, I force myself to eat something greasy, like chicken, and wash it down with three sips of cola—works like a charm. Now I'm craving some boneless chicken and jokbal, wrapped up in gorgonzola pizza, and eating it all in one bite, hehe." The combination of chicken, jokbal, and gorgonzola pizza is quite fresh. "Now, everyone gather in a circle and link arms." "Ugh, this room's so cramped, are we shooting a teenage drama or something?" "Hong-ah, want to toss Seowon into the annex?" "Yes, yes!" "No, no, no, I'll be quiet!" "True, it is a bit tight. Everyone, gather in the living room." In the basement living room, the Beagle Five formed a shoulder-linked circle per my direction. It felt like being a coach, whipping these troublemakers into shape through exercise. "For ASE members. Take care of USE members." "Take care..." "Louder. Members!" "Take care!" "Members!" "Take care!" "For ASE Siba, with USE. Siba!" "With you!" "Siba!" "With you!" "For ASE Yonna, with USE beautiful. Yonna." "Beautiful!" "Yonna!" "Beautiful!" "For ASE Han Seowon, with USE dual-woon. Han Seowon." "Wait a minute, wait a minute. Is that supposed to be a joke? Han Seowon, Dual Woon, Triple Woon...?" "What, not funny?" "Huh..." "Screech! Ragkang Kang is back! The dad jokes are hitting hard!" "Why ruin the mood with a Kim Yunho joke spray?" "This is really disappointing. I can't defend this." "Chief, to Yeonhong's room..." "Again, pretending you don’t like it, when you secretly do. Aigoo, such cuties." "Eww, that cringey expression just now!" "Chief, you really sounded like an old man just now..." "Wow, for the first time, I felt a generation gap with oppa. More like an uncle." Of course, roasting me had to mark the end of our session. I threw in a dad joke to foster camaraderie. Look at that, Eunbiti's expression has returned to normal, and everyone's got a smile on their face. "Since we woke up midway, let's start 30 minutes later today. Not that I’m tired or anything..." "Yay!" "If there’s anything to discuss, let's do it tomorrow. Rest up tonight. I’m heading out." "Aren't you lonely in the annex?" "Nope. It's so comfortable." "Tsk." "Goodnight, Chief." "Yup, turning off the lights." "Take care on your way out." "See you tomorrow, oppa. Thanks for coming." ―Beep As I switched off the light and the room dimmed, a screen like an LED panel appeared. ――――――― Great job! You have effectively led the members to unite! As a reward, here’s a scene from a 'spoiler.' Use the spoiler to overcome the crisis. ★GOOD LUCK!★ ――――――― Screech! Scree-eech! What trial is it this time? In a hurry, I climbed the stairs and sat where Eunbiti had been drinking soju alone, watching the video. In a corner of a quiet PC cafe, someone sat alone. Their back was turned to the camera. The medium-length hair flowing from under a cap and the body shape suggested it was a woman. 'Who could it be? One of our kids?' I thought, but quickly realized that was impossible. She was typing on a post in a famous community board that I also frequented, and it was some serious mud-slinging. ―――――― <Title: Gosh... Never saw Up Kigirl Yona like that, totally shocked!!!> Please understand the non-standard speech. My uncle was an employee at EyeContact agency. Here’s a verification shot... ―――――― This is absolute bull... She even attached a picture of a document with Karma Entertainment's logo on it, and a business card with the name blurred out. The one silver lining was that I could see the exact date and time. I checked the date on the bottom of the monitor. It's Thursday, three days from now, at 6:36 PM. Thursday is the Replay Girl recording day. The woman was typing away as if nothing would stop her. This wasn’t some thriller movie, but I continued to watch the screen while finishing the remaining soju on the table. <...Karma's CEO is notorious for these things, this is why KU Director was fired.> Hoping the title was just clickbait, I still dreaded seeing words that should never be typed, beginning to unfold like tattoos. <Yona's sponsor is a well-known doctor in Seoul...> ...If only someone like Raccoon Man dealt with scums like this, it would be so much better. But there is no Raccoon Man to help us. I will have to become Raccoon Man myself. Suddenly, such a thought crossed my mind. Still, it’s a relief to have found out in advance. When I think about how this is all a butterfly effect reward thanks to Eunbiti's hate comments, I feel like going back down to the basement and giving her a kiss. Alright! Now that I know the exact date and time the incident will occur, all I need to figure out is which PC café it is, right? Let's see, how many PC cafés are there in our country? According to a search, at the end of 2016, the National Tax Service statistics showed there were about 10,000 establishments. Considering those that haven’t yet filed for closure, the exact number is uncertain, but owners estimate about 7,000 to 8,000. That’s doable. With three days left, I can start checking them one by one from today. If you divide one day into minutes, that's 1,440 minutes. In three days, that’s 4,320 minutes; even if I visit one place per minute, I wouldn't cover half of them, ack! If only I knew the area. I scrutinized the details on the screen with wide eyes. At that moment, the woman stretched and stood up from her chair, turning her face toward the camera angle. “Uh…?” < The Raccoon Man Doesn't Exist > End