215 - Upki Girl

< Yona Must Always Be Beautiful > It’s a disaster. Of course, this wasn't Yona's own thought. She is the type of person who diligently avoids using profanities or slang, even in her mind. However, if it were anyone else in her shoes, nine out of ten would probably think exactly that. “Hmmm...” She let out a quiet sigh through her nose as she stared at the closed toilet lid. What had been a pristine, clear pool of water upon entry had now transformed into a battlefield where all sorts of demons had been summoned. How did things end up like this, exactly? Yona tried approaching it philosophically, but she couldn't come to a conclusion. After all, any result is a sum of countless coincidences and inevitabilities—it can't be pinned on a single cause. That said, if she had to pinpoint a primary cause, it might just be constipation. Constipation and being part of a girl group. Words as mismatched as politicians and integrity, yet, when thought about, constipation is to a girl group what chronic fatigue is to a working person. Unpredictable lifestyle and eating habits, grueling diets, restrictions on using public restrooms, the obsession with popularity and the stress—it’s an environment almost designed for constipation to thrive. Among the members of UpKiGirl, Eunbit had briefly struggled with it, but now the troublesome issue had come to visit Yona. Yona, who usually avoided using public restrooms except at broadcasting stations, couldn't ignore the signals from her lower stomach after nearly five days. By coincidence, Eunbit and Yunhong had brought up the topic of the restroom first, and noticing there weren't many people around, she mustered the courage to use the public restroom. Little did she know this kind of disaster awaited her... The trouble began when a wet wipe, used to clean the toilet seat, accidentally fell into the toilet. Even though it was before she had relieved herself, retrieving it by hand was out of the question. Recalling a time when a wipe had slipped from her grasp before but had flushed away just fine, Yona decided to try flushing the toilet. Oh, why did I do that! If only I could turn back time by just two seconds! Not more, not less, just 2 seconds! The toilet's flushing power was as weak as a meaningless, empty fart from a ninety-year-old. The wet wipe tangled with the unsightly results of her bodily functions, and remnants of toilet paper, clogging the toilet akin to the evening rush hour on Gangnam Boulevard. Gurgle~ Gurgle~ It felt as if water had filled her brain too, leaving no room for thought. Judging by the sounds outside, someone was surely waiting right by the door. Eunbit and Yunhong, who had accompanied her into the restroom, seemed to be washing their hands at the sink, having finished their business. Yona knew she had to explain the situation to them, but even among comrades who shared everything, admitting a clogged toilet was embarrassing. Eventually, wouldn’t Kim Yoonho and Lee Jangwoo find out too? It's not just urine, but a number two for goodness sake! Yet, there was no way around it. Yona sent a message to Eunbit. As she feared, Eunbit and Yunhong said they would inform Manager Kim Yoonho about the issue and left the restroom. It was over. No matter how she thought about it, it was over. Though technically caused by wet wipes and excessive use of toilet paper along with weak flushing power, from a third person’s perspective, she’d be remembered as ‘the girl who clogged the toilet.’ Sniffle~ Sniffle~ She always wanted to be seen as a beautiful girl... Yearned to be viewed as an attractive, sexy woman... Now she was ‘the girl who clogged the toilet.’ What on earth! Being trapped in a toilet stall, this was Yona's most humiliating moment in life. By now, wouldn't the water have drained away...? With a desperate heart full of prayers, she cautiously lifted the lid a little… Eek! Eeeeek! Her prayers went unanswered. Instead, the water seemed to threaten to break the surface tension any moment, only amplifying her anxiety. And to make matters worse, the waiting person outside began to express their dissatisfaction. “Ugh... Feels like I'm waiting in the wrong line.” “Oh wow. What’s going on? Still can’t get in?” It seemed like they were the students who had exchanged greetings with Eunbit and Yunhong. One of them had already finished their business in another stall, while the other remained stewing in frustration as they continued to wait. Despite thinking they were being discreet, Yona could clearly hear every word of their conversation. "Maybe there's no one in there? Can't hear any noise." "No way." "Knock and check." — Knock Knock “Excuse me, sorry to bother, but do you know how much longer it might take?” In the end, honesty was the only option. “Well, the toilet here is clogged… It might be better to try a different one.” “Really? Wow.” Another waiting person, appearing middle-aged, grumbled irritably. “If that’s the case, you should have said something earlier. I’m in a rush.” “I’m sorry… I’m just a bit flustered…” “Is it quite big? Did the water rise?” “Yeah…” “Oh dear.” “I’m sorry indeed…” Word began to spread to newcomers like an oral folktale. “That stall's toilet is clogged.” “Oh. Thanks for letting me know.” “Ma’am, line up here. That one’s clogged up.” “Oh dear, what’s to be done? Is someone inside?” “Yes. Seems like a young lady’s inside waiting for someone to come.” “How much did she do for the toilet to clog up like that...?” “This place usually has weak flushes, so it clogs often.” “Oh, is that right? Doesn’t happen in the other restrooms.” “It’s just this restroom, just this one.” A neighborhood meeting was practically unfolding outside. By the sound of it, it seemed the current waiters were all middle-aged or older. Yona pondered. Informing everyone about the clogged toilet truthfully and hearing an older lady attribute it to weak water pressure, Yona pondered whether she could just leave now. Of the things that worried her, one was the spread of the rumor "UpKiGirl clogged the toilet." But these current folks, given their age, likely wouldn’t recognize her, unlike students or younger people. Yes, I should just walk out! That was the moment she was about to muster up her courage. "Wow, did you see their faces?" "Yeah. They looked really tiny. It was Eunbit and Yunhong, right?" "They were setting up the stage, must be here to perform." "Need to call Kim Seojin. They love UpKiGirl." "Doesn’t he like Yona?" "Yeah." "Yona is really beautiful, even from a girl's perspective." Chatter~ Chatter~ Young students entered the restroom, chatting away about UpKiGirl, making it known to the whole neighborhood through their phone call. They must have met Eunbit and Yunhong who left the restroom earlier. "Hey, big news! UpKiGirl is at the Lakeside Park, hurry up and come here. If I’m lying, I’ll be your younger sibling." "Hell yeah, no line here." "Hey, there’s someone inside. The toilet’s clogged, so they can’t come out." "Oh, that’s a disaster. Thanks." "If I had a plunger, I could fix it." "What? Check if there’s one in the cleaning supply closet." I can’t go out. No way I can go out. Even if Yona, considered so pretty even by other women, showed herself in such an embarrassing state... "Oh wow, found a plunger." "Hehe, awesome. Are you really going to use it?" "I’ve unclogged toilets a few times at home." "Great, give it a try then." "Yeah, I’ll unclog it. Hey, I’m going to post this on TintStar, film me unclogging it." "Hahaha. Okay." Sniffle~ Sniffle~ Please don’t do this. The girl with the plunger knocked on the door excitedly. —Tap Tap Tap! "Y-Yes?" "You can come out now, I can fix it for you." "Uh..." What should I say? I'd rather be seen naked than let this be revealed in front of everyone. The thought of it made my legs tremble. Plus, didn’t they mention they’d record the whole unclogging ordeal? Startled, Yona sent another message to Eunbit. [What do I do? They’re knocking on the door, some are trying to come in with a plunger, and there are so many people outside. They’re even talking about filming the unclogging process.] —Knock Knock Knock! "Excuse me~" "Y-Yes..." "You can come out now. I can unclog it, so please open the door." Maybe I should just cover my face with my hair and make a dash for it. It was too late to act cool now, after dragging it on for so long. What should I do, what should I do? *** Why did it have to be Yona? It would’ve been better if it had been Sibah stuck in there. If it were a situation where Eunbit got a toilet clogged in a public restroom, it would’ve become a joke on variety shows. People would laugh it off, asking, ‘Is there a problem with Eunbit being Eunbit?’ Sibah herself might’ve even enjoyed having a 'fun episode' added to her story. Isn’t she already enjoying the situation alone right now? But Yona’s different. Yona must absolutely retain her image as beautiful, sexy, charismatic, and an assertive leader. As the team’s center and visual, being labeled with a toilet joke must be avoided at all costs. Moreover, from my experience, while Yona is generally cool about most things, she seems to be embarrassed about bodily functions like bowel movements, not just in front of me and Jangwoo, but also with the members. How would she handle it if the fans find out? She loves her fans more than anything and only wants to show them her beautiful side; she’d be mortified, unable to show her face. However, after brainstorming multiple ideas, the only conclusion was that getting Yona out without showing her face was nearly impossible. The biggest hurdle was that as a men, I and Jangwoo couldn’t enter the women’s restroom. Seowon suggested faking an emergency to evacuate the restroom and rescue Yona, but it was dismissed because it could harm innocent people. "There’s no other choice. We’ll inform the maintenance staff to get Yona out and then pray the incident doesn’t spread too much." "Yeah. Jangwoo’s approach seems to be the best." "But there are so many people outside already. I don’t think we can keep this quiet..." Just then, Hongyi's words were interrupted by Eunbit’s loud shout. Yona had sent a new message. "Now what do we do! She says people are knocking on the door with a plunger, asking to be let in!" "Damn it, why offer to unclog it for her! People here are too kind-hearted, to a fault! Did she open the door?" "No. She seems to still be holding on. Oh no! Looks like they’re planning to call the police because she’s not opening the door!" "What a commendable sense of civic duty! Never call this ‘Hell Joseon’ again!" Every second counts now. If the police come, the situation will escalate. In the end, the final decision had to be made by me. Hold on a little longer, my dear. "Everyone, wait in the car. I’ll go with Eunbit." "Me?" "Yeah. I’ll whip up a story for variety shows, so hurry." "Okay. But what kind of story?" "The anecdote about the clogged toilet today isn’t about Yona. It’s about you. Got it?" "What, no... Even I have my limits..." "It’s better that your image takes a hit than Yona’s. Just sacrifice for the team this once." "My saying it was me won’t make it so." "That’s why we fight with misinformation and fabrication." "Huh...? What do you mean by that?" "Just follow my lead." Although reluctantly, the others agreed with me. "Alright. It's better that Eunbit takes the fall instead of Yona. Definitely, you." "With Bibi's noble sacrifice, UpKiGirl can soar even higher." "Eunbit, we're sorry. I wish I could take the hit, but the manager chose you, so it can't be helped." "Oppa, then instead of me, can’t you take Honghong?" "Sorry, that was wishful thinking!" "Hey, no time for jokes. Get down there quickly!" "Oppa! I want to be pretty too!" "You're already pretty. And this episode will become legendary. It's going to be a hit." "Is that so? Well then, beautiful me will make the sacrifice!" "And Jangwoo, you alert the maintenance office about the clogged toilet." "Yes!" Sibah and I dashed out of the car toward the restroom, followed by students yelling in excitement. "Amazing!" "Ahhh!" "Eunbit-unnie, you're so pretty! I'm a fan!" "Thank you! But don’t like me anymore. I'm just a coward who clogged the toilet!" "What?" "I’m the one who clogged the toilet!" *** Hello, this is Kim Yoonho, the manager of UpKiGirl. I felt I needed to address the incident today at Ilsan Lake Park, so I’m posting this on our fan café. While waiting for the flower festival performance, Eunbit, Yunhong, and Yona used the public restroom. Unfortunately, the stall Eunbit used experienced a mishap with a clogged toilet. We learned that it frequently clogged due to low water pressure. Eunbit informed Yona about the incident first. While on her way to ask me for help, Yona took Eunbit’s place in the stall. When asked why she didn’t leave the stall, Yona said it was to avoid causing discomfort to others. However, as more people arrived to use the toilet, Yona inadvertently became trapped in the stall. As she panicked and mishandled the situation, some users were inconvenienced, resulting in me entering the women’s restroom to resolve the issue caused by Eunbit. We apologized to the citizens present and explained the situation to the arriving maintenance staff. If anyone was displeased, I sincerely apologize now. Additionally, I extend my gratitude to Kim Heeyoung, a student from Ilsan Middle School, 2nd year, class 2, who offered to unclog the toilet with a plunger. We will be sending her a signed album and merchandise with our thanks. — SibahLover: You really wrote extensively about Eunbit clogging the toilet. — LimitlessChallenge: Sibah did it again? — Rolling38: Toilet killer Sibah lol — Eyoung: An idol with a toilet scandal, oh no. — UUUUU: A poop scandal? Haha. — IHeartYona: I heard Yona was the culprit, but it's good that Manager clarified it was Sibah. — Handalin: How much did they go? Haha. — Arigato: BitCoin is no longer just any girl group. — pcb86: Glad it wasn't Yona. Phew~ — PretzelGarlic: Yuneunbit, the Toilet Fairy♡ — IlsanMiddleKimHeeyoung: Muno, I became a fan of UpKiGirl. Haha, I spread the word to my classmates. --- After finishing our schedule for the day, we returned to the dorm. "Whew. Good job, Sibah." "... Oppa, did we really do the right thing?" "Of course. You scored a major share of the fan café attention today. Yuneunbit, you’re amazing." "Then why do I feel uneasy? Isn’t this deceiving the fans? Wouldn’t it be better to tell the truth..." "Are you seriously changing your tune now? We’ve crossed the point of no return. You're the Toilet Fairy now, and today I cleaned up your dirty laundry." "But still..." "Stop with the nonsense! I’m the one who got my hands dirty! Besides, do you think episodes like this come around often? Remember, they're rare, maybe once in a hundred years. You're meant to be the star of a variety show. Got it?" "Yes..." "Sorry for yelling. It's not easy for me either... but that's the rule in the world we’re in..." Sibah and I fell into silence. We sat on my bed at a respectful distance, with only the sound of our breathing filling the space. After a moment, the jarring sound of the door opening interrupted us. A cool, calm voice trickled in from beyond the doorframe. "Good work today. Your sacrifices have ultimately protected UpKiGirl. Whatever the truth may be, it doesn't matter. Each member of UpKiGirl has their designated role, and fans should only ever see and hear beautiful and good things. Although my heart is not at ease, some rules must be upheld at all times. Understood?" "Yes..." "Yes..." "And as for you, Manager." "Hmm?" "Erase every ugly remnant in your mind starting now. What you saw is not the truth." “Oh… understood…” “Good. Very good. Have a good night. Eunbit, go to bed soon too.” “Yes...” < Yona Must Always Be Beautiful > End