3.9 - A Story About a Married Teacher Who Becomes Obsessed With Her Female Student

Chapter Three: "In The Sea Without Borders" Part Nine My husband might still be in the dark, but Togawa-san knew everything. The way I live has hurt Togawa-san, who's following me in my misdeeds. I can't bring myself to apologize here, for it would be an utterly irredeemable "sorry," the lowest of the low. I'm the worst. My heart is about to be crushed by the guilt I felt towards my lover. I am the worst wife. There's no lower than this. To have lived at rock bottom all this time without realizing it. “I don't know if you knew, but I'm actually quite possessive.” She told me a revelation, as old as my marriage. “I knew.” More than just "quite," her jealousy actually matched mine. Perhaps it’s because our hearts are so similar that we were drawn to each other. “Even on nights when you give me such a tender smile, you still spread your legs for your husband, right?” Before the endless sea, her words became aggressive, with nothing to shield them. The accusation was direct and piercing, like glaring sunlight, making me want to avert my eyes. But I refused to run. Because I'm far more afraid of parting from Togawa Rin. Togawa-san shed silent tears. Maybe she herself was unaware of them. My fingers, wiping away those tears, were tightly bound by Togawa-san’s love. “I haven't slept with my husband in years.” The humiliation and embarrassment from confessing such things to a student burned within me. “Apparently, I look utterly bored during those times.” I believe it's not a lie. I felt dry whenever my husband touched me. I just considered it a matter of course. Perhaps my husband saw through me because ever since then, he never broached the subject again nor made any advances. I’ve been fortunate—though "fortunate" is the worst way to put it, but I found it convenient to pretend I didn't see it. I genuinely loved my husband, married him, and yet never felt the desire for that kind of connection. I once thought I was just frigid, but meeting Togawa-san disproved that. Togawa-san suddenly stopped walking and took my left hand. Our hands joined in a circle and she pressed my hand against her chest. The unexpected sensation made my vision blur. Out here in the open, my fingertips covered Togawa-san's chest, with my palm right against her skin. Blushing fiercely, shame overwhelmed me as sand whipped against my face. Deep inside, something screamed from the back of my teeth. Watching my reaction, Togawa-san smiled softly. “You make such a good expression.” Her mouth, which didn't hide its aggression, gradually twisted. It was an act of triumphantly baring her fangs at my husband, whom she had never met. The reason she'd once confessed to disliking my last name became clear; she probably despises my husband more than anyone else in the world. Just thinking of Togawa-san's imaginary date partners angered me to no end, making me wonder how much she had endured. As all other conventions and virtues crumbled, my resolve to remain sincere to this girl solidified. “Tell me your answer to my confession.” Togawa-san urged softly, narrowing her eyes. Her voice reached me, yet my palm still felt the sensation of her breast. Isn’t this unfair? "Togawa-san." "Call me by my name." "Rin." This was an unbearably embarrassing moment, so I couldn’t focus on Togawa-san’s face. I felt the waves of her breasts swaying, which was different than through the school uniform. Just as each incoming wave had a different face, something different came to me each time. Stop making poetic reflections on the feeling of touching breasts. “Rin, I want to give you a proper answer, so can I let go for a moment?” “No.” Rin caught my hand and prevented me from pulling away. “Because I want you to feel that this is what I love.” Her voice grew stronger as she endured the sensation of my grasp, forcing her lips into a hard line. "I want to do intimate things with Itsuki-chan. I really, really want to.” In confronting the sea, we are stripped naked, revealing only our true feelings. The fingers touching her chest almost replied before I can, so I put it off by tensing my shoulders. Right now it's intimate, but it’s still too early to act intimately. A sincere heart that yearns for me. Perhaps my husband had shown me consideration. But in the meantime, this child was taking me away. “I love you, Rin.” The hand intertwined with mine shook, and Rin’s cheeks quivered as her tears go astray. “I love you.” The words echoed back. Short, yet expressing everything in my heart. “I love you.” “I love you.” “I love you.” “I love you.” “I love you.” “I love you.” With each declaration of love, the words overlapped. More swiftly than the waves, mutual love surged forth. Just saying "I love you" made my lips feel like they were burning in the sun. My lips naturally found their way to Togawa-san's. Her lips, too, were warm. Being the older one, I felt an indescribable intoxication in tiptoeing to meet my student's lips. Forgetting that other people might see us, we mixed our breaths together again and again, for a long while. This is why I had been restraining myself—both the love and the kisses. I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop. Without confessing our love, there was no certainty. Even if ninety-nine percent of our affection was on full display, without voicing it, it wasn’t confirmed. Yet, once spoken, there was no holding back. Togawa-san enveloped me, assertively looming over me. Despite the sun’s gaze, her left hand, still holding me, danced without hesitation over my chest. Loving a student who loves me in return is nothing short of miraculous. We might bring unhappiness to anyone but ourselves but we bask together in this resplendent miracle. This miracle, accompanied by tantalizing sounds, brought our tongues together. I remember one of us commenting on the heat and suggesting we take a break. We both knew what that implied, yet we headed for our destination anyway. Even as the saliva on our lips dried up, the heat and lingering sensations simmered on. However, when it came time to enter, my faint trace of rationality hesitated. “But, this is…” “Today we're just friends, right?” This wasn't a place where just friends typically go. Or maybe it is? I recall hearing about girls’ nights out happening here. Perhaps we came here for our own girls' night. Yeah right, that wasn’t the case. “We’re not just friends.” Hence, I wondered if she understood what coming here meant. With subtle movements of our intertwined fingers, I posed the question to Togawa-san. She responded by gripping my fingers more tightly, intertwining them further. “In this convenient world, you can find anything with just a quick search.” “I’ll cover the cost, okay?” “Are you sure?” “Of course.” What kind of teacher lets their student pay for a hotel? Though, here I am, a teacher entering a love hotel with a student. Even this level of self-deprecation no longer stirred my heart or elicited a smile. Yet, I didn’t want to believe that becoming so brazen meant my heart had grown stronger. And so, we found ourselves at a nearby love hotel. We’d finally come this far. My head wobbled, shaking frivolously. Such a flighty feeling. I think our heads have become muddled from all the kissing. My frontal lobe felt like it was floating the entire time. In this dreamlike state, Togawa-san’s hand led the way, her warmth guiding me like a lamp as we drifted into the room.