3.12 - A Story About a Married Teacher Who Becomes Obsessed With Her Female Student

Chapter Three: "In The Sea Without Borders" – Part Twelve “Ah...” Fragments, like remnants, my high school memories returned in bits and pieces. The one I accompanied to the idol handshake event was the girl on the far left. We grew closer for a time, but then some weird rumors started spreading and the atmosphere became awkward, so we drifted apart. ...I finally recalled the trigger for why I couldn’t deeply remember my high school days. For a student, being ostracized at school is fatal—and something to be avoided at all costs. Back then, those narrow classrooms and halls were the entire world. But, looking at my high school self. My hair was dyed bold, and my skirt was scandalously short. "Wow... what a kid." “Uh... do I really have to send this...?” Having just been complimented on my hair, sending this was a bit embarrassing. Still, I wanted to see Togawa-san as a middle schooler. I wanted to know everything about her. So, I took picture and silently sent it. The reply came quickly. 'Is the second one from the right you, Sensei?' 'Yes.' 'You look so sexy!' 'How exactly?' 'Your skirt is super short.' 'That was the trend back then... The other girls are wearing theirs just as short, aren’t they?' 'And you dyed your hair too, huh.' 'Everyone did it...' 'Hm, I prefer your hair now.' 'Does that mean you like me now better than then?' 'That’s not it at all. You doubt yourself too much, Sensei. Even after I’ve said how much I like you.' 'Maybe because I have a thing for younger girls, I wonder if it’s the same for everyone else.' 'Ah, I see, yeah, that makes sense.' 'But it seems I prefer older ones.' “...Then... I guess that’s fine.” To Togawa-san, I will always be the older one, and to me, she’ll always be younger. A broken pot with its perfectly fitting lid. Somehow, that didn’t feel quite right. 'I really want you to wear your school uniform.' 'Send yours quickly, Togawa-san.' I ignored her prompt and returned one of my own. I aimlessly tapped the screen repeatedly. 'Here’s the old me~' I scrutinized the screen. Zooming in, whoa. In what seemed like a selfie, there was Togawa-san in her middle school uniform, smiling faintly. She was visibly shorter, with a more youthful face. Her uniform, worn with a hint of awkwardness, hinted at the innocence of someone who not long ago probably had been carrying a school backpack. The slightly oversized winter uniform suggested it was anticipated she’d grow into it, which contributed to her adorable image. Her glossy black hair was still undyed, tucked behind her ear, from which a peculiar allure seemed to emerge. As she had mentioned before, perhaps a remnant of her outdoor days, her skin was a bit more sun-kissed than it is now. Her tan had a lively air, a reminder of youthful innocence. Seriously, why am I staring so intently? It's creepy. 'I took this right after the entrance ceremony.' "I knew it..." As I came to a deep realization about when the photo was taken, belatedly, a wave of disgust welled up inside me. “Ah...” I let out a sigh as I came face to face with this helpless creature. I felt like I wanted to lay hands on her. * * * If I'm being honest, I always wanted to meet her. Yet, we both had our lives to maintain, tests to take, and I was busy too. We couldn’t afford to let things fall apart, not even a little, in order to keep our relationship going for as long as possible. We had to distinguish between what to discard and what not to. In reality, there's nothing I should be discarding at all, and yet, I end up doing so anyway. And so, when summer began, and the exams ended, I found myself at Togawa-san’s house. I chose to walk down the narrow back roads to avoid the eyes of others. Still, I knew if someone saw me, it would be the end. After work, I gently tapped on the back door. She opened it promptly, still in her uniform, greeting me. Her face bloomed like a flower, a moist and fresh smile. It was the same kind of flower that had taken root in my heart and blossomed. "Welcome back, Sensei." “... Yes.” It had been a long time since we last spoke like this. I say long time, but it had only been two weeks. Though it felt so far away to me right now. Time is nothing more than a measurement created by humans. It was only natural that there were individual differences in how we experienced it. There was no one in this world who lived in the same time as me. “How were the exams?” “Wouldn't you know best, Sensei? Since you’ll be grading them?” Togawa-san took my hand, smiling warmly. She guided me into the house, where the scent of the town and the sea gradually faded. Outside, the rainy season was had just ended, and July had arrived. Beach huts and tourists were just starting to pop up. Even dropping by after work, a faint light still painted the distant horizon. And even while it was still bright outside, we were seeking our own darkness, just the two of us. The way our fingers intertwined had changed, one of the things brought back from that sea. We used to hold hands normally, but now our fingers meshed, like lovers. 'Sensei, exams are over.' 'Yes, good work.' 'Wanna come over?' Her straightforward invitation left me unable to refuse. I deceived my husband, saying I was busy with work, muttering something about coming home late, so I could engage in an affair without any excuses. Leading me by hand, we climbed the stairs together. They were narrow in the well-worn house, wide enough for only one person. Despite the cramped feel, we held hands tightly, neither of us willing to let go. She took me to her room upstairs. This time, there was no smell of alcohol, which made me keenly aware of Togawa-san's scent filling the room. The hangover and the shock of the 'pee teacher' incident meant I couldn't even look Togawa-san in the eye back then, but now that I was invited back into her room, I couldn't help but feel nervous, despite my age. “Sit, sit.” Togawa-san gently pressed on my shoulders to help me sit on her bed. She sat beside me, closing the distance without hesitation. Sitting beside each other, the difference in height and eye levels made me feel like even our age difference had been reversed. I set my bag down, chuckling inwardly at being led directly to the bed. Our desires were mutual. My eyes landed on dolphin plush next to the bed, and I almost laughed at its round eyes. “Mmm~.” Togawa-san snuggled into my arms, her cheek brushing against my arm. In this peculiar setup, where a person larger than me sought affection, I couldn’t help being flustered. Bigger, younger, teacher, student, my mind wavered, my recognition turned upside down. But she was cute, unbearably so. She's so cute, it made my heart swell with emotion, and I couldn't compare her to anything else. I wanted to embrace her right now, to claim her entirely, shield her from every gaze. I didn’t want any boys or girls who fancied Togawa-san to get any closer. Whenever it involves Togawa-san, I become excessively narrow-minded. The parts of myself that I don't like are increasingly brought to light. But that was my true self, something I hadn’t faced before. “I always wanted to do this with you, Sensei.” “... Me too.” I had glanced over at Togawa-san, who was interacting intimately with the other students in the classroom. 　Realizing that I was feeling jealous of the students, I stomped my foot hard several times in the hallway to hold it in. 　I had come here, on the verge of tears, thinking that my career as a teacher was coming to an end. “Sensei, I’m in my uniform right now, you know?”