4.8 - A Story About a Married Teacher Who Becomes Obsessed With Her Female Student

**Chapter 4: Quiet as the Depths of the Earth - Part 8** "I understand why you're ignoring me, sensei." She was smiling slyly as she wiped the sweat off her face and neck with a towel. "You're wary of having a second 'Kotori-chan'" "I'm grateful for your quick understanding, even if it doesn't help me." "That's your issue, sensei. Approaching you serves my own reasons." What a self-serving person, I thought, finally cracking a small laugh. Then, Hoshi-san detached the gourd-shaped canteen from her waist and offered it to me. "Consider it compensation for any inconvenience. Have a drink." "I'll pass, thank you." "Oh, really? Even though it's filled with my sentiments." Hoshi-san withdrew the canteen nonchalantly and took a sip herself. Its gourd shape seemed to complement her rickshaw outfit. Those sentiments swiftly flowed back into her throat. After returning the canteen to her waist, Hoshi-san straightened up, adopting a formal stance. She lowered her head deeply in apology. The way she bent at the waist, placed her hands—it all showed experience. "Sorry for causing you trouble the other day. Kotori-chan probably pressed you hard, didn't she?" "I was constantly suspected of being your girlfriend." "Ahahahaha!" Her laughter was so carefree; it made one question the sincerity of her earlier apology. It was vibrant, like a clear blue sky, making me want to go home. Hoshi-san continued as if sharing a funny story, even after lifting her head. "That's just not possible. Neither I nor you are each other's type." "It's not a matter of preference; it's just that I'm already..." Married... The explanation dissolved between my tongue and teeth. "I do feel bad, you know. Both towards you and Rin." Even understanding that she was mentioning her name on purpose, I couldn't help but respond. "Togawa-san doesn't have anything to do with—" Ignoring my evasive remark, Hoshi-san swung her canteen with a slight smile. "Rin would probably stab me if I made a move on you. She's that kind of person." I couldn't immediately reply, but inside, I thought she might be right. That girl craves love. She wants someone to desire her more than anything else in the world. Feeling Togawa-san's jealousy and possessiveness, there was a sort of comfort. The joy and satisfaction of being wanted. A tangible manifestation of affection. Yet, accepting that from Hoshi-san somehow felt wrong. Recognizing myself as someone worthy of such jealousy was a mistake. "Togawa-san isn’t really that kind of person, is she?" "You probably know Rin better than I do," Hoshi-san said, seemingly agreeing without conviction. I struggled to grasp how much she truly understood about my relationship with Togawa-san. Then, with a theatrically exaggerated motion, she waggled her hand like seaweed underwater, which I brushed aside. "You should also feel sorry towards Mori-san." "I guess you're right." She brushed it off as if it were someone else's concern. "But Kotori-chan's jealousy is somewhat like Rin's." Hoshi-san laughed and averted her gaze, as if peeking at someone else's face. "If you don't mind me asking, how many women are you involved with right now?" I asked, partly because students were involved, but also to address her frivolousness. "Well, right now, six?" That seemed an impossible number to be spoken so lightly. "But if you include those I've grown distant with and practically ended things with, it's more like four." "You may sound modest, but four is still too many." "So what's the correct number?" Hoshi-san shot back suddenly, a teasing smirk pulling at the corner of her lips. Is this what they call inviting trouble? "One? Or perhaps—" She added another finger. Her middle finger naturally overtook the index. "Mm-hmm," she chuckled, pressing the two fingers together with a look full of implication. They mirrored back at me, like a reflection. I adjusted my footing, almost faltering, and stepped firmly onto the ground. "Of course, one is ideal." "Just one? Isn't that a bit harsh, sensei?" "Even if you ask me..." The one person I pictured was, of course- I let out a small, self-mocking sigh. If I were alone, I'd probably smack myself on the side of the head. "Hoshi-san, with how careless you are with women, you might really get stabbed one day." I tried to deflect, pushing the balance back toward her. "That's fine by me." "What's fine about it?" "I honestly wouldn't mind if I got stabbed and died tomorrow. I have reasons to live and reasons to die, so it doesn't matter either way. Whatever happens, happens." Her speech, appearance, summer atmosphere—everything was light, yet it felt as if she was throwing everything into that brightness. It wasn't recklessness but a sense of detachment. Hoshi-san was indeed present, but there existed a gap, a disconnect as if a distant, more reckless version of herself existed somewhere. Her forehead, rubbed hard while wiping sweat, was slightly red, as if bruises might soon surface. "Even if we can't tell if what we're doing now is right, let's live so that one day, looking back, we can think it was. That's what I'd reply if a student said that to me." "If that were a test answer, I'd give it a good score." "Thanks," Hoshi-san replied rather unenthusiastically. "I actually did pretty well back in high school, you know." "I can see that." "Oh, by the way, sensei, how did it feel to embrace Rin?" "That's crossing into harassment..." Remaining calm, feigning disinterest, I fought desperately to keep my eyes and lips from drying out. Her intentionally timed comment was a clear ambush from the periphery of my thoughts. I clenched my heart that wanted to leap and crushed it. "Teenage skin is surprisingly soft, isn't it?" Yes, anything but "yes" could crush my throat. "Let's not continue with this conversation." There's no way she could be sure, and she was just waiting to see my reaction, I told myself, as sweat gathered on my palms. I tried not to exert too much force, else my eyes would start darting wildly against my will. Hoshi-san continued looking straight at me, as if peering right into my soul. "Lying to someone you know can be quite difficult. They're familiar with your nature." "Um—" "If you truly didn't have any underlying secrets, you'd probably say something like 'What are you talking about?' or 'That's not funny'. Something more reactive. But your response was too calm. It was like you'd already anticipated someone catching you off guard." Hoshi-san pressed on, dismantling my lies piece by piece. "If you had nothing to hide, you wouldn't need to anticipate such a random jab, would you? You may be good at concealing your agitation, but you're not yet used to lying." "..." Was it her professional eye or some innate ability to read emotions? Her precise insight slipped through the narrow paths of my defenses straight to my tightly suppressed heart. "Heh." My tightly sealed lips slipped and twisted. A small laugh escaped, signaling the rupture of my composure. "Hahaha!" Hoshi-san also joined in the laughter, seemingly satisfied. Then, together, we turned back along the path to return to my husband. There was no urge for desperate resistance. She completely saw through me and given that if a time came for everything to come to light, I had intended to accept it. "Would you tell my husband?" Hidden by the tall walls of the supermarket, the light that reached us was weak. My heart was still pounding. "Nah, I have no interest in telling him," she said, unlike the chaos within my chest, her mouth was calm and spoke straightforwardly as usual. "I can't judge others since I'm also involved with a high school girl." "And you're with multiple partners..." Heh, aren't we similar after all? "Aha," I laughed, a frivolous sound so light that it made me question if it truly came from me. "You know, sensei, if you were inclined, you could probably have several high school girls at your beck and call." Hoshi-san dropped a pretty terrible topic into what was a casual conversation. Could I really? I touched my cheek in contemplation. Ultimately though, I dismissed it as ridiculous. "I’m devoted to Togawa-san alone." Even as my eyes remained unfocused, my stiff neck began to protest. Just before we returned to the main street, Hoshi-san asked once more. "So, how was Rin, sensei?" "She had the skin of a teenager." "Hah!" Suddenly, the light seemed blindingly bright.