4.12 - A Story About a Married Teacher Who Becomes Obsessed With Her Female Student

Chapter 4: "Quiet As The Depths of The Earth" Part 12 It felt as if another heart had taken residence at the base of my ears, its thumping unbearably loud. In what felt like a lifetime long enough for a cicada to live and die, that existence was fully celebrated. After the me that was a cicada had expired, my knees, once supporting me, quivered. I slowly drew my head back, to find Togawa-san smiling, her face a deep shade of red. "Welcome back." "...Th-thank you for having me..." If I were in Togawa-san's position, looking down at an adult like myself, I might consider kicking her in the jaw. Unlike what I would feel, Togawa-san's cheeks and voice melted with an ecstatic sweetness as she looked down at me. The light in her eyes seemed to blur as if dissolving in a hazy heat. "You know, I really love how earnest you are, sensei." Flustered, I struggled to mask how continuously intrigued I was with Togawa-san's body. "A-ha... My inner thighs, they feel so cool..." When Togawa-san playfully fluttered her skirt, glimpses of the very thighs and underwear I'd been face-deep in earlier were revealed and concealed. Such blatant teasing enthralled me, my gaze rising and falling like an elevator. Realizing Togawa-san was laughing at my darting eyes, I began to wish I could just disappear. "I'm sorry for being such a hopeless, helpless teacher." Even I was taken aback. I was disgusted with myself, feeling like a degenerate overwhelmed by excitement. "I love a naughty sensei, though." But even such a heap of impurity, Togawa-san gathers up in her hands. "When we're being intimate, you tell me you love me so much." "Togawa-san..." Wait a moment. "That makes it sound like I only try to please you to keep you happy during those times..." Is it my imagination, or is the way the facts are presented suspiciously biased? "Isn't that the case?" "Am I allowed to be annoyed?" "Just kidding," Togawa-san said, cuddling up to me playfully. It's a charming gesture anyone would acknowledge, but when faced with this innocent affection, the impact from our difference in size wasn't quite as cute. "But sensei, you usually get shy and don't say you love me often." "No, well, I mention it here and there... don't I?" "Not nearly enough." She seemed dissatisfied. I thought I said it, but apparently, not nearly enough. In that case, I stroked her hair and, like cherishing a bouquet, softly repeated my words. "I love you. I really do." "More." "Love you, love you... love, love, love, love, love..." Without averting my gaze, offering my affection like a kiss up close. Unlike the noisy tears she shed earlier, Togawa-san let a quiet one fall from her left eye. As I repeated my love, I gently placed my lips at the path of the tear. For her, I could endure the pain of hurting someone else. It wouldn’t reach the point where I'd be torn apart, irreparable. But if I ever hurt this child, I would undoubtedly suffer a mortal wound. She is my life. I will never take my life lightly, never. To be with Togawa Rin just a little longer. I squeezed myself tighter, knees pulled up as if enduring dehydration in the oppressive darkness. Trying to become just another fixture, but the heat was unbearable. Wondering how it came to this, I retraced my steps amidst the persistent sweat and heat. Frankly, the events that did happen weren't even on my radar—they swept in like a storm. I'd arranged my schedule to drop by Togawa-san's place again, heading enthusiastically to the supermarket. Hoping I wouldn't be seen as meddlesome, I bought a variety of things, mostly meat. It was more than just for our household consumption, but I managed with the heavy bags and brought them to the apartment. Once back, I placed the overabundant groceries to the side of the kitchen and began preparing dishes to take over. It was meant to be done while preparing dinner—in truth, preparing our dinner was a lower priority. I wanted everything ready before my husband came home, unnoticed. While cooking, an imaginary Hoshi Takasora teased, "Spoiling her, aren’t you?" When I asked if that was a bad thing, she vanished without answering. "I initially thought I'd bring the ingredients and cook here, but then I'd need all the cookware too..." "You're so smart, sensei." So I explained to Togawa-san, who greeted me, that I had prepared various dishes and brought them in containers instead. Today, unlike previous times, she insisted multiple times that it wasn’t necessary to come in uniform. "Having the same thing every time can get a bit dull." "It's not about that," though it might be a little. Before getting entangled in various things with Togawa-san, I proceeded to the kitchen to get things in order. While I was putting the assorted dishes into the refrigerator, Togawa-san stood beside me with a cheerful smile. "Do you find this kind of meddling bothersome?" "No, I'm happy about it." Without a hint of deceit, her expression shone brightly, like the sun was at her doorstep. "To me, sensei, you're like a mom, a sister, a lover, and, well... a beautiful woman too." Adding the last bit mischievously made my cheeks grow warmer gradually. Being called a lover... it's both delightfully embarrassing and uplifting. "I'm not denying it." I honestly feel flattered to be considered beautiful, even if I do have those untoward qualities... "Oh, and if possible, maybe include 'teacher' in there too..." I can't exactly say I'm setting an example for other students, but perhaps still... as a teacher... or not. Having a relationship with a student might be furthest from that role. "Of course. Sensei has taught me so many things." "Yes, so many... ha, ha, ha." I couldn't contain my laughter. Considering the things I've taught her almost made my head feel on the verge of overheating. I briefly entertained thoughts of how this instant warming might have some useful purpose as a form of escape. "Togawa-san, do you cook at all yourself?" "Not at all. The most I'll do is boil water for instant meals." "That makes sense." Judging from the state of cookware in this house. "And maybe a 'ding' in the microwave." She poked my cheek as if suggesting I’m as quick and straightforward as a microwave. Apparently, my demeanor was quite transparent. The only comfort I found was the cool air escaping from the open refrigerator. After storing everything and closing the refrigerator, Togawa-san looked down at me closely. That smile, although testing, was typical of the familiar closeness that seemed like it could swallow me whole without exerting any pressure. "So, sensei... what am I to you?" Her words nudged at me, begging for an answer. "A student, someone I want to protect... an affair partner, and the cutest high school girl in the world." I stated our relationship dynamics honestly. "Huh? So you don’t consider me a lover?" Her dissatisfaction was evident as I had left out that label. "That's not the case," I assured her, placing a hand on her puffed cheeks and letting the air escape with a gentle squeeze. "I'm in love. A love so intense it feels like I'm on fire. But... a lover can't be someone you can't walk with proudly outside in the open." Maybe it's my own stubborn notion, but I believe love should be celebrated. It should bask in daylight. While I hope to achieve that with Togawa-san someday, I still don't know what I can do to make it happen.