4.13 - A Story About a Married Teacher Who Becomes Obsessed With Her Female Student

Chapter Four: "Quiet As The Depths of The Earth" - Part Thirteen "Hmm," Togawa-san says, folding her puffed cheeks gracefully and smiling as if she's thought of a brilliant idea. "So, sensei," she continues, extending her pinky finger towards me as if asking for a pinky swear. "What if, from now on, no one finds out... and after I graduate high school, we live together?" "...Togawa-san." Her cute demand for divorce nearly makes me laugh. This girl is both adorably innocent and somewhat of a conqueror. "When that time comes, we'll officially, clearly, be proper lovers." "...lovers..." I glance over the year and a half distance until her graduation, a stretch of time that feels utterly impossible to cross. Yet, I entwine my pinky with hers, sealing this pact. "Alright. If you graduate safely... and I'm still here." I was a dishonest person, making a promise I couldn't keep. And then, almost at the same time as I moved to embrace Togawa-san's shoulders, there was a loud clattering at the door. My arm froze, and I heard the sound of someone collapsing near the entrance. I locked eyes with Togawa-san, whose expression mirrored my own. "Riiiiiin, I'm hoooome," a woman's drunken voice, raspy from alcohol, called out from the entrance. My back erupted in a chill of dread. "Mom," Togawa-san gasped, her face draining of color. This was a visitor who had completely vanished from my mind. "Sensei, go up to the second floor. Ah, if you're going to hide, try the closet." "Eh, okay... the closet?" Togawa-san was quicker and made a calm decision, pushing my back. As the footsteps and voice, harsh and unrefined, lingered in the living room, I rushed up the stairs. Praying the drunk person wouldn't notice my footsteps, I quickly dived into Togawa-san's room. I can't believe she actually came back. As Togawa-san instructed, I opened the sliding doors and slipped into the empty closet. I gently closed it from the inside, becoming one with the stifling, pitch-black heat, where no light could reach. "...It's hot..." Sitting cross-legged in the cramped closet, the first thing I felt was the oppressive humidity, worse than a sauna. My ears were ringing, and the thin air gave an illusion of suffocation, making me hang my head low. The scent of wood, heavy with moisture, made it feel like I was far from civilization, emphasizing my isolation. The mother of the girl I was having an affair with suddenly came home, so I panicked and hid. I really felt like a criminal, an adulterer... something of that sort. "Finally," I thought, my mouth twisting in self-mockery. I had a feeling that things had been going too well up until now. While my mind was engulfed in darkness, I waited for someone to open the door for me. Eventually, I heard familiar, cautious footsteps ascending the stairs. The light and a slightly slurred, youthful voice found me. "It's okay now. I put her in a room and got her to sleep," Togawa-san said, helping me tumble out of the closet. She wiped my sweat-drenched forehead with the hem of her pajamas. "Thanks," I muttered, rubbing my damp neck vigorously before getting up. "But she might suddenly wake up again, so tonight..." "Yeah, it might be better to head out early." We hadn’t spent much time together, and that left me with a sense of incompleteness. Togawa-san seemed to feel the same; she was fiddling with her pajamas as if she couldn't accept it, her brows furrowed in frustration. She sighed, resting her hands on her hip with a hint of despair. "It seems like she had a spat with her lover and fled here because she couldn't stay at work." "What the hell..." I murmured. "I have a feeling she'll be around tomorrow too..." There was something in her lament that was the opposite of loneliness. "If Mom’s here, I can't see you at home, sensei... It's a problem," she said, her expression and tone filled with genuine anxiety. While I felt a secret joy that her first worry was this, it wasn't enough to be a light that could overcome the uncertainty of the future. Just as Togawa-san said, the fact that our relationship could be hidden was largely due to the existence of this house. The only place left for us to meet outside of here was school, and it was summer vacation. It seemed our free connection would be reduced to just phone calls and texts. Yes, this was a very, very big problem. * * * 'I'm sorry, sensei' 'My mom ate the food you made for me without asking.' 'I'm really sorry, Sensei. I'm sorry.' It was the first time I hadn’t been pleased to receive a message from Togawa-san. Her mother, having returned, promptly helped herself to whatever she pleased. Whatever she pleased... could it still be called her mother's house? It seemed outrageous to declare it so, given how she'd abandoned her daughter. 'It's okay. It's something that couldn't be helped,' I replied, trying not to let my emotions seep through and returning my focus to work. I closed my eyes, patiently letting my frustration drain out, then resumed my tasks. I felt a pang of guilt for troubling Togawa-san. And, that aside. "...But more importantly," I mumbled. If, after eating that food, her mother inspected the kitchen, she might look at the unusable cookware and question where the refrigerator's contents came from. The side dishes, which clearly didn't look like they came from a nearby supermarket, must have appeared from somewhere. If even a shred of common sense remained in her, she’d question their origins. She came home at the worst possible time. No, perhaps it would always be the worst no matter when she came. I genuinely hate her. her entire existence was offensive. "...How awful." Once again, a surge of emotion halted my work. I detest that woman. I saw the mother of my student as nothing more than a nuisance. What angered me more than her irresponsibility as a mother was the threat her presence posed. It rattled me to think that Togawa-san’s affection might even slightly turn towards her mother if she showed even an ounce of maternal responsibility. I was afraid that Togawa-san's love for me would fade, and I was jealous. Covering my face with my hands, I muttered to myself, "I’m human scum." I can't accept a better life for Togawa-san. I can't wish for her happiness. I feel like it would be meaningless unless I was the one making her happy—that it has no value otherwise. I think I deserved to be her mother more than that woman. I don't want to lose my role as the mother, the older sister, and the lover Togawa-san says I am. I don’t want to give up even one part of these roles. Extreme as it is, in my mind, I am all Togawa-san needs. Even though I can't stay with her forever. After a while, another message from Togawa-san arrived.