4.13 - A Story About a Married Teacher Who Becomes Obsessed With Her Female Student

Chapter Four: "Quiet As The Depths of The Earth" - Part Thirteen "Hmm," Togawa-san says, folding her puffed cheeks gracefully and smiling as if she's thought of a brilliant idea. "So, sensei," she continues, extending her pinky finger towards me as if inviting a promise. "What if, from now on, no one finds out... and after I graduate high school, we live together?" "...Togawa-san." The cute demand for divorce nearly makes me laugh. This girl is both adorably innocent and somewhat of a conqueror. "When that time comes, we'll officially, clearly, vividly, be lovers." "...lovers..." I glance over the year and a half distance until her graduation, a stretch of time that feels utterly impossible. Yet, I entwine my pinky with hers, sealing this pledge. "Alright. If you graduate safely... and I'm still around here." I was dishonest, making a promise I couldn't keep. And then, almost at the same time as I moved to embrace Togawa-san's shoulders, there was a loud clattering at the door. My arm froze, and I heard the sound of someone collapsing near the entrance. I locked eyes with Togawa-san, whose expression mirrored my own. "Riiiiiin, I'm hoooome," a woman's drunken voice called out from the entrance, burning with alcohol fumes. My back erupted in a chill of dread. "Mother," Togawa-san gasped, her face draining of color. I'd completely forgotten about the visitor. "Sensei, go up to the second floor. Oh, if you're going to hide, try the closet." "Um, okay... the closet?" Togawa-san quickly and calmly pushed me towards a decision. As the footsteps and voice, harsh and unrefined, lingered in the living room, I rushed up the stairs, hoping the drunken intruder wouldn't notice the sound. I darted into Togawa-san's room and, as instructed, opened the sliding doors to enter the empty closet. I gently closed it from the inside, becoming one with the stifling, pitch-black heat. "...It's hot..." Sitting cross-legged in the cramped closet, the first thing I felt was the oppressive humidity, worse than a sauna. My ears rang, and the thin air gave an illusion of suffocation, making me hang my head low. The scent of wood, heavy with moisture, felt like it was isolating me from civilization. Suddenly hiding because the girl’s mother had returned was profoundly criminal, as if I were an adulterous villain. A self-mocking smile curled my lips – everything had gone too smoothly until now, I realized. While engulfed in the mental darkness, I waited, hoping no one would open the closet doors. Eventually, I heard familiar, cautious footsteps ascending the stairs. Light and a slightly slurred, youthful voice found me. "It's okay now. I locked her in a room and got her to sleep," Togawa-san said, helping me roll out of the closet. She wiped my sweat-drenched forehead with the hem of her pajamas. "Thanks," I muttered, rubbing my damp neck vigorously before getting up. "But she might wake up suddenly again, so tonight..." "Yeah, it seems better to head out early." We hadn’t spent much time together, and that left me with a sense of incompleteness. Togawa-san seemed to feel the same; she was fiddling with her pajama's edge, not ready to accept it, her brows furrowed in frustration. She sighed, resting a hand on her hip with a hint of despair. "It's like she had a spat with her lover and fled here because she couldn't stay at work." "What the hell..." I murmured. "I have a feeling she'll be around tomorrow too..." There was something in her lament that was the opposite of loneliness. "If Mother’s here, I can't meet with you at home, sensei... It's a problem," she said, her expression and tone genuinely anxious. I felt a secret satisfaction in Togawa-san's priority of worrying about our meetings but couldn’t shake the uncertainty of the future. It was indeed because of this house that we could keep our relationship hidden until now. Left without place to meet outside, it seemed like the only contact available would be through phone calls and messages. Yes, indeed, it had become a troublesome situation. --- "I'm sorry, sensei... Mother ate the food you made for us... I'm really sorry." It was the first time I hadn’t been pleased to receive a message from Togawa-san. Her mother, having returned, promptly helped herself to whatever she pleased. Could this still be called her mother's house? It seemed outrageous to declare it so, given how she'd abandoned her daughter. "It's okay... It's something that couldn't be helped," I replied, trying not to let my emotions seep through and returning my focus to work. I closed my eyes, patiently letting my frustration drain out, then resumed my tasks. I felt a pang of guilt for troubling Togawa-san, though. "...But more importantly," I mumbled. If, after eating that food, her mother inspected the kitchen, the improbable number of unused cooking tools might catch her eye. How would she react to the unusual ingredients in the fridge, observable nowhere near any local market? If even a shred of common sense remained in her, she’d question their origins. Her timing for returning was the worst possible. No, perhaps it would always be horrible. I genuinely disliked her — her entire presence was offensive. "...How awful." Once again, a surge of emotion halted my work. I felt utterly disdainful of that woman; all I could see her as was a hindrance. What angered me more than her irresponsibility as a mother was the threat her presence posed. It rattled me to think Togawa-san’s affection might even slightly turn towards her mother if she showed an ounce of maternal responsibility. Jealousy rose, fearing the diminishing love from Togawa-san. Covering my face with my hands, I muttered to myself: "I’m filth." I couldn't accept a better life for Togawa-san; I couldn't wish her happiness. I believed it would be meaningless unless I was the one making her happy—that it had no value otherwise. I thought I deserved to be her mother more than her actual one. I couldn't have the roles Togawa-san attributed to me—mother, sister, and lover—be disrupted. I didn’t want to concede even one part of these roles. Extreme as it was, in my mind, I was all Togawa-san needed. Despite not being able to stay with her forever. After a while, another message from Togawa-san arrived.