Chapter 13 The Beggar Sect (3) - Martial Arts Masochist

SM. Those unfamiliar with it might assume that in an SM relationship, the S, or the Sadist, holds all the power. They think the Sadist makes all the decisions, and thus controls the Masochist. Just like in play, they assume the same applies to relationships. But that's a misconception. Even when it came to Cheongwol, the intensity of play is determined by the Masochist. What’s okay and what’s not, when to stop using a safeword—all these decisions are in the hands of the Masochist. The Sadist must be cautious, guiding their desires carefully so the Masochist doesn't get hurt too much. They must ensure that the Masochist doesn't spiral into ruin during play. For example, some Sadists meticulously scout a path to ensure it's empty before taking their Masochist for a naked walk. Without a special someone called a Masochist, the Sadist can't do anything at all. It’s about cherishing them, making sure they don’t flee, land in jail, or have their life wrecked. So, there’s even a joke that SM play is really about the Sadist serving the Masochist. ...And just doing that is already hard enough. ...Yet, to take Cheongwol, who might burst if pushed too hard, and continue this? "…Why me?" Why me? **** “...Why me?” Cheongwol's body stiffened. Her steely gaze met with Han Seojin’s. “...” “...” A long silence ensued. The unexpected reaction left her speechless. Why? ...Not that there was a reason... Wait, but... ...Maybe because she’d revisited it so many times? Cheongwol could recall his words from that day as if it were yesterday. When water first splashed on her body: 'Indeed… your body is truly beautiful.' When she curled up her legs to hide her precious parts: '...Your thighs are so lovely. They’re firm. Must be from diligent training.' When he stood behind her: 'Your rear is like a peach.' And when their eyes met... '...You look like a vulgar courtesan, Cheongwol.' The authoritative smile that had danced on Han Seojin’s face was vividly imprinted in Cheongwol’s memory. His face back then was filled with satisfaction, contrasting starkly with the stammering man she saw now. Remembering him like that, she naturally assumed he would welcome this act. When that misunderstanding was shattered, Cheongwol's face flushed. “Don’t you want it too…?” She found herself claiming, almost reflexively. “I don’t!” Han Seojin asserted, withdrawing his frame. “Then why did you assist before?” “Because you suspected I was from the evil sects! I helped to prove it wasn’t a torture chamber...! And do you realize how fierce your expression was at that time?” “...” Cheongwol found it difficult to remain still. Her hands clenched and released, her eyes and head restless, her lips opening and closing repeatedly. “Ah...ugh...” In this back-and-forth, it was Cheongwol who turned more vulgar. Even though he hadn't desired it, she had approached on her own—like a courtesan. Realizing this, she felt a similar level of shame she experienced in the basement. Her heart always seemed to pound whenever Han Seojin was around. Flustered, Cheongwol blurted, “What if I say I still suspect you of being from the evil sects…?” Han Seojin let out an exasperated sigh. “What, that again…! After you cried so much in my arms back then—” -Whap! Cheongwol quickly covered Han Seojin’s mouth with her hand, crying out, “-We agreed to forget about that!” Han Seojin stiffened, wearing a sheepish expression, then cautiously pried her hand away, offering a sincere apology. “...I’m sorry. I forgot.” The two continued their awkward dialogue beneath the eaves in the rain. Cheongwol considered whether she should return to the Emei Sect, overwhelmed by embarrassment. However, memories of the Baekhee incident kept surfacing, making her reluctant to leave. She knew, without a doubt, that Han Seojin needed to understand her intentions clearly. She didn’t come here longing for perverse acts. She wasn’t here to experience humiliation and shame. She just...wanted to rid herself of the stifling feeling, much like she had that day. She wanted restful sleep. To endure among her fellow disciples. And if that required enduring a bit of humiliation for the sake of releasing this inner turmoil, it was something she could manage—it wasn’t about wanting to be humiliated. “...Hoo.” Cheongwol exhaled a deep sigh. She calmed her racing emotions. They needed to talk. She pushed open the store door. “W-Where are you going?” he asked, slightly raised his voice. Cheongwol whispered, “...Come in. We need to talk.” She forcefully stepped inside. She ignored him, deriving a small sense of petty revenge for the slight humiliation Han Seojin caused her. **** Improving skills, of course, it’s a good thing. Well, for martial artists, what else is there? Those who wield swords would, naturally, want to wield them better. Cheongwol, being one of those obsessed with growth, was understandable. ...But why did it have to be SM as a method? Why does it even help her, and why does it have to involve me! Wasn’t it supposed to be over last time? It’s infuriating. I walked into the small shop with Cheongwol. She sat on my bed while I sat on the floor. Honestly, I was a bit riled up myself. Uninvited, she strolled into my house and sat on my bed at her leisure. “...” “...” Maybe it was because I had seen her so submissive in the basement. Suddenly, these thoughts crossed my mind. ...A woman who wants to do SM play. ...Sitting comfortably while the Sadist rested on the floor? Why is the Masochist sitting on the bed, and me, the Sadist, on the floor? This is just begging for a lesson... ...Like that’d ever happen. “...Mistress.” Cheongwol, drying her wet hair, indeed looked strikingly beautiful. Is it because she’s a main character or just the unfairness of the world? Long, large eyes. A sharp nose. Enchanting lips. If she weren’t completely out of her mind, I probably would’ve gladly played along hundreds of times. ...Unfortunately, she is out of her mind, and she could easily kill me. I could only slump in dismay. She calmly asked now, “...So, why are you refusing?” Because you terrify me. But I couldn’t say that out loud. “Why must I accept, anyway?” Cheongwol's expression hardened. I quickly reconsidered my phrasing. “M-Miss, I... I don’t want to get involved with martial artists.” I continued with half-truths and a serious expression to veil my words. “I’m just an ordinary person. From my perspective, martial artists are as terrifying as tigers. Getting more entwined with you, the Emei Sect’s most promising disciple, is too overwhelming for me.” Especially since getting involved with you would spell disaster. Cheongwol's eyes narrowed. “...You’re saying you don’t want to be involved with martial artists?” “Yes.” “...But you seemed quite friendly with Beggar Sect folks.” ...Seriously. How does she know stuff like that...? She didn’t even know my name until recently. Was she spying on me? This thought irked me slightly, worrying it might not just be my issue, but the uncle's too. “Aren’t they martial artists? Isn’t their sect a proud member of the Nine Great Schools?” “They’re the ones who raised me, so I have no choice.” “And wasn’t it the Emei Sect who protected you? Haven’t you considered that without us, you might’ve been plundered by rogue sects like the Green Forest?” “...” Damn it...! Damn it...!! I felt cornered step by step. Isn’t starting SM play with Cheongwol basically like gambling? A gamble of life or death. And like any gamble, the higher the stakes, the more likely I’ll get my neck caught. It’s pursuing trouble until I lose everything. “And if I recall... You did say this was your hobby. Then isn’t it mutually beneficial? I’d calm my inner demons, and you continue your hobby...” My mind raced furiously. How do I deflect this? It is my hobby, but...! But not with you! Growing a bit more honest, I replied, “...Miss, you keep... misunderstanding. While curing inner demons is a part of it, that’s not all there is to it.” “Then what?” “When the intensity increases, it becomes an intimate activity, one shared between lovers.” -Wince. Cheongwol flinched. “...Lovers?” “C-Consider this: it’s so vulgar, if we push the boundaries, doesn’t it become something like that?” “...Can’t we just leave out those parts?” “That’s not the issue. The problem is, that’s the basic foundation of it. You wouldn’t want that kind of relationship with me!” For once, she seemed a bit flustered at my words, but didn’t back down. Her expression and gaze remained stubborn. What kind of effect did this have on her inner demons...? But originally, the idea that it helped her was just my lie. What help could it be? It’s SM, after all. If it did help, then her preferences... “...Ha.” Really? Cheongwol a masochist? Her pleading wasn’t really resonating with me. She insisted it helped with her inner demons, but wasn’t it just sexual relief? She kept trying to present herself as dignified, but knowing the tantalizing truth, I couldn’t help but feel embarrassed looking at her. No. Now isn’t the time for such thoughts. I need to push her away. I recalled the first time in the basement—when she fled in horror upon hearing about outdoor urination. That memory cleared my mind. I inhaled deeply. Alright, time for the cockroach strategy. Time to say something truly shocking to make her run. Please, let her flee again. “Miss. Remember when we first... did the SM play in the basement?” "SM... play?" “That’s what it’s called. Anyway, during that play, do you know I really toned it down?” “...” Cheongwol’s cheeks flushed. Her eyes couldn’t meet mine, trembling slightly. Good. Keep acting all shy and innocent. “Normally, it’s much more vulgar and perverse. You keep telling me to do it without knowing the depths of it. As I’ve mentioned, if we push the intensity, it becomes an intimate lovers' affair. Could you handle that, Miss Cheongwol?” “...Like that day... You can adjust the intensity yourself, can’t you? Maybe even lower than last time.” “What’s that about? That’s like a patient telling the doctor how to perform surgery!” “...” Strengthening my resolve, I asked, “If I told you to become my little puppy, would you become—” -Slap!! Coming to my senses, my face had snapped to the right from the force. “...” I slowly turned to look at Cheongwol. She was anxiously covering her mouth with her hand. "No, that… that’s not what I intended..." “...” End of the cockroach strategy. If I get hit one more time, I’ll pass out for real. “... Anyway, last time was just a taste. The real intensity is not something an Emei Sect nun like Miss Cheongwol should be doing. Let’s stop here, and consider it a day's indulgence and proof that I’m not from the evil sects.” **** “... Anyway, last time was just a taste. The real intensity is not something an Emei Sect nun like Miss Cheongwol should be doing. Let’s stop here, and consider it a day's indulgence and proof that I’m not from the evil sects.” Cheongwol involuntarily gulped. That was just a taste? She couldn’t fathom how one could experience even greater humiliation, but with words like outdoor urination and becoming a puppy falling from his lips, his argument grew more credible. It's dizzyingly vulgar. It makes me question if this is even possible for a human. Unconsciously, she found herself lost in thoughts, and at the same time, her body felt warmer. A sense of repulsion, quickened breathing... yet, an unyielding curiosity kept ensnaring her. What would happen if she broke down even more? What would the Sect Leader think? ...What would it feel like to shatter everyone’s expectations? “...Miss?” “Ah...!” Cheongwol startled, her body flinching more than necessary. Han Seojin's words made sense to her—she shouldn't do it, had no reason to. ...Yet... If it were with someone else, perhaps she wouldn't care. But with Han Seojin, she'd already shown him her drenched self, and she had cried in his arms. Having already exposed the real her slaying bandits, wasn’t there nothing more to lose in showing him something else? Nobody knew as many of her facets as Han Seojin did. Even the Sect Leader hadn’t seen that side of her. ...And greater shame would surely be followed by greater praise. ‘...Well done, Cheongwol.’ “...Hmm.” ‘...You’ve worked hard. So beautiful.’ Cheongwol glanced sideways at Han Seojin. He was utterly oblivious to the chaos occupying her mind. The feeling of imagining sharing such an intimate moment with him was strange. To imagine being praised by that utterly inadequate man? She couldn’t tell if she was going insane. Still, she couldn’t resist those emotions at that moment. If she hadn’t known, perhaps it wouldn’t matter, but now, a shallow yearning emerged. The thought that she shouldn’t only made her tingle more. And that made her want to try even more. Breaking the suffocating rules seemed increasingly tempting. After the incident, she had slept well for a few days. Her heart felt at ease. ...And her daily life had become boring. There had to be limits. Anything too extreme was unthinkable. But surely Han Seojin could regulate things appropriately? She vividly recalled how he comforted her last time. Even though he spoke like this, she knew his demeanor would change once the play began. “Let’s head back, Miss.” Cheongwol closed her eyes tightly, then opened them. One last time, she steadied her resolve. Since she would face humiliation below anyway, why not experience a bit more here? “...Sect Leader.” Cheongwol spoke while willingly embracing the embarrassment. “...If you help, I won't forget this.” “...” “...Just once... Can't it be?” **** “...Just once... Can't it be?” She genuinely seems unable to grasp how intense things could get with me. Just because the last time wasn’t bad doesn’t mean everything will be fine...! That was because I kept it genuinely mild...! ...But. Her previous words struck me deeply. If I helped, she wouldn’t forget. That got me to pause my steadfast refusal and blink. Of course, in the future, she would not become the Emei Sect's Millennium Flower or the beacon of justice, but become the feared Chumyeong-ggi Cheongwol... ...But wouldn’t it be advantageous to ensure Chumyeong-ggi Cheongwol remembered this debt? It meant chalking up a favor with one of the Seven Sky Saints of the Demon Sect. If this debt were acknowledged, perhaps an order might be decreed throughout the entire sect. Keep Han Seojin alive. She’d become one of the Demon Sect’s leaders eventually, making such a decree trivial. “...” No matter how much I pondered, distancing from her aside, having a favor in the bank was far from detrimental. In this situation—and perhaps already too entangled to pull back—laying claims to goodwill seemed wise. I had already gotten too involved for complete detachment, and would anger her more if I coldly brushed her off now. Seeing as she kept coming back, and knowing she was aware of my associations with the Beggar Sect elders, it seemed evident. I might have been marked by the future Chumyeong-ggi. Suddenly, I recalled her crying profusely in the basement and revealing her drenched form to me. ...Right, scrutinizing that thought: expecting a clean break might have been pure folly. “...Hah...” -Scritch, scritch, scritch! I scratched my head rudely in front of Cheongwol, tumultuous thoughts gnashing away at my mind. “...Sect Leader...” Cheongwol’s soft voice called out. I had to clench my eyes shut. Falling for her looks was a death sentence. After a long silence, I spoke to Cheongwol, “...There are rules.” “...” “First... You must not tell anyone about this relationship. It needs to remain a secret. I mentioned before I do not want ties with the martial world.” “...I don’t want anyone to know about this either. Uh...? But didn’t you say you wanted a kiss at the inn—” “-Second. These surprise visits, they make me really uncomfortable. If we are to hide this relationship, unless it’s by mutual agreement, do not come here for at least 10 days after we meet.” “...That’s nothing. I don’t want it either, but it’s for my inner demons, I can’t help it...” “Third. Never forget this debt. Understood?” Even after you become Chumyeong-ggi. “I won’t forget.” “And if you break these promises, I’ll never help you again.” The last promise might have been meaningless, but the first two needed emphasis: break them, and she couldn’t blame me when I parted ways. “...” Cheongwol stiffened momentarily at those words. But soon, she nodded. “...Alright.” Once the rules were set, an awkward silence enveloped us. Both of us knew what would happen after this agreement. Even I felt my heart rate quicken. Despite everything, I am a Sadist. The thought of humiliating this Cheongwol, who kept berating me earlier, made my pulse race. Damn. ...No. This wasn’t the time for jokes like that. ...Thinking it over some more, maybe it was simply fear of Cheongwol that was making my heart race. Cheongwol remained rigid, casting quick glances my way intermittently. ...It was that awkward moment before someone asked if you wanted to wash up. Only this time, the vibe was more terrifying. Cheongwol's breathing had also become slightly uneven. “...So, what now?” In SM, atmosphere is everything. The Sadist needs to be authoritative. Never let the Masochist take charge. Just like that day, I gathered my courage. Once I decided to go for it, I had to do it right. If Cheongwol felt something that day, it must have been from the textbook method of SM. I needed to recreate that imposing atmosphere. I had to perform that role once more. “...Sect Leader, so what’s today—” “-Cheongwol.” At my call, Cheongwol froze in place. Her chest rose and fell slowly, visibly. “...Did I ever say you could ask questions? Right?” Not wanting to completely submit, Cheongwol mumbled under her breath, “...Is it that big a deal to ask a question...” “Go downstairs.” I rose from my seat. Cheongwol dropped her gaze, her fingers starting to fidget. The rain outside seemed to amplify only our sounds. I sighed inwardly. ...There's no turning back now. Perhaps there was no stopping from the moment it was apparent Cheongwol might be a Masochist. Still, this time, I'll increase the level slightly. I don’t wish to continue this every time. Let's reset with the cockroach strategy. I need to see if she dares to come back after experiencing it. Given our established rules, this would be the best outcome. Today marks the last time. That would be ideal. According to the rules, she won’t forget this debt, and I won't need to balance the line anymore. ...Though, realistically, who am I kidding. It felt as though we might do this a few more times in the future. So, let's raise the level. Ensure she's too scared to return. She asked for it, uttered the words herself, so she can't complain if I crank it up a notch. ...Of course, not excessively. I didn't want to risk my neck. Still, I should attempt something beyond what an Emei Sect disciple could imagine. “...What are you doing? Won’t you obey? Didn’t I tell you to go downstairs?” I spoke again to the frozen Cheongwol. She darted her eyes around before awkwardly rising. As if embarrassed by going into the basement of her own volition, she swallowed nervously, crouched to open the basement door, and, defiantly, said, “...Setting the mood like that isn’t that scary.” Even so, she descended into the basement. I was left wracking my brain over what play to engage in. **** Kwak Doo, the leader of the Beggar Sect’s Northern Branch, thought as he and some beggars sought shelter from the pouring rain. He looked at the beggars huddled with him and said, “Guys, we can’t just stay here. Let’s visit Seojin—it’s been a while. Plus, we can escape the rain.” “Won’t Seojin dislike it?” “Why should we care what he thinks? If he complains, we’ll just grab something to eat.” Kwak Doo grinned at the idea of seeing Han Seojin. “...Though this guy knows we’re drenched, yet never invites us to the inn.”