912 - I Am This Murim’s Crazy B*tch

Riding on the black horse, leading the gang of brigands, Qing's appearance, in many ways, resembled the Bull Demon King more convincingly than the Tang Monk. In any case, the northeastern end of Pyongan Province, Pungcheong-ri. There was something oddly familiar about the view of the village from a distance. The thatched houses, a common architectural style in agrarian cultures seen frequently in Zhongyuan, stirred a sense of familiarity akin to visiting a hometown folk village or a historical drama set. Was it just a psychological thing? However, the thatched roofs look rather cute... In reality, the lives of the residents were anything but cute. Far from it, living there was rather miserable. The roofed structure barely blocking the wind was a cherished yet begrudging possession due to its miserably small size and constant bug infestation. The basic layout of a traditional thatched house included a single room and a separate kitchen, known as Samgan, a common household size in Joseon, equivalent to approximately fifteen pyeong in the world's most scientific and intuitive unit system, the "pyeong." Remove the kitchen, and it's about ten pyeong. An entire family would live in this ten-pyeong single room. The average family at that time consisted of two parents, one wife, and four or five children, squeezing eight or nine people into these ten pyeong. It was tantamount to living among livestock. But there were no issues! In Joseon, commoners living in thatched houses were often likened to beasts by the ruling class. Even in the most prosperous times of Joseon, when a wise king created letters to educate the people, how did the ruling class—the yangban—react? Why do animals need letters? A bold declaration in the face of a king who publicly expressed affection for his people! Considering this period was the most lenient towards commoners, to the ruling class, they were never people but merely part of the property, likened to animals. And if you had a pet, say, a dog that brought back a pheasant and was tearing at it, what would the owner do? "Oh my, what is this? Where did you catch such a fine horse? But what is this guise? Were there monsters riding horses like this in all of Joseon? What does it matter, it's a great steed, like one from the 'Chu-Han War Records.'" What on earth! Suddenly running out in front of Qing, blocking her path, was a man with a benevolent demeanor. Unlike the gaunt, hollow-cheeked brigands, this fellow had a perfectly round face and a clean-cut appearance. And he was wearing a "gat" on his head. Oh, it's a real "gat"? Kind of cool, though? Qing looked down at the delicate and beautiful presence of the "gat," a symbol of elegance even in the ancient times, while the man added a kind smile. "Anyway, you've brought such a fine horse. The law forbids keeping such a steed privately without severe punishment. So, what should we do? For everyone's sake, I should send this horse to Hansung." A deep crease formed between Qing's brows. Who does this guy think he is, talking about taking the horse to Hansung? Though if Lü Bu were here, this weak barbarian wouldn’t be entertained for a moment as he’d abandon Qing to find another father. Hmm, but the idea of eating a horse is quite tempting. Sensing something, the beast, under Qing’s command, took a few uncomfortable steps back, making an anxious whinny. "Nevertheless, since you've gone through the trouble, I can't send you back empty-handed. I'll generously give you some grain, so enjoy a hearty meal today, huh? Come on down. Come, hand me the reins, will you?" Qing's eyes drew a pretty crescent shape. Though her eyes lacked luster, there was a fierce light shining in them. As the man reached his hand out, asking for the reins, Qing bent her waist and stretched her arm out. Her particularly pale and elongated fingers tightly seized the man’s supposedly kind jaw and lifted him up. A divine act of lifting with a single hand! The man with the "gat" dangled his legs, gripping Qing's wrist with both hands, and hung there with all his strength, his chin on the verge of dislocation. "Ugh! Uhh!" "Who is this fool to be so brazen about robbing? What makes you think you can take someone else's horse?" "Ugh!" "And what? You’ll give me some grain? This exquisite steed, which would earn me a cartload of gold in Zhongyuan? You intend to seize it for just some mere grain?" "Ugh! Uhhh!" Qing's mouth twisted into a wry grin. People who knew Qing would categorize her anger stages into mild anger, medium anger, great anger, and extreme anger. She was currently at great anger. "This fool is filthy rich while pretending to have earned it. Yet, he’s the one benevolently dishing out hardship as a form of 'payment'? Oh, please." Qing's mouth spread into an aggressive smile, splitting her mouth wide open. Qing, furious! Extreme anger! "So, this means this guy already knows what these thugs are up to around here?" When heading to this village, Qing had contemplated perhaps having a word with the local magistrate, listening to what he might have to say. But seeing this, there's no point in listening. Instead of being surprised or fearful at the sight of bandits in monster costumes, he casually approached them with a smirk—already familiar with the scene. And he came running out right away, meaning he kinda knew when this gang, disguised as monsters, would return, waiting for them. Why? To seize the plundered loot that the brigands obtained—practicing theft upon thieves—it could be described as a thief’s thief. "What’s with this guy?" "Uh, that's our 'Ibang' lord." "'Ibang'? Oh, the magistrate’s lackey?" This passage contains vivid descriptions to highlight the extreme poverty commoners lived in during the Joseon era, comparing them to livestock owned by the ruling class. The protagonist Qing encounters a seemingly benevolent man, actually intending to exploit the loot harvested by bandits from locals. The language conveys Qing's escalating anger as she realizes the man's true intentions, leading her to lash out with humor and intensity. ### Notes on Translations: 1. **삼장 법사 (Tang Monk):** Translated as "Tang Monk," referencing Xuanzang from Chinese mythology. 2. **우마왕 (Bull Demon King):** Maintained as "Bull Demon King," a mythological figure, to preserve the fantasy context. 3. **Samgan 삼간:** Translated to "Samgan," retaining original Korean cultural context for the housing style. 4. **평(Pyeong):** Unit of measurement, retained as "pyeong" due to its specific referencing to area/space. 5. **이방(Ibang):** A village official, translated as "magistrate's lackey" for contextual understanding. 6. **갓(Gat):** Traditional Korean hat, maintained as "gat" to preserve historical context. Qing is personified with humor and wit, her anger leading to direct verbal and physical actions that express disdain towards authority figures exploiting people. The language intricately conveys the protagonist’s attitudes and historical references, while maintaining cultural and character nuances. "[A lapdog, you say? You seem quite proficient in our tongue, but no, he isn’t merely a magistrate's lapdog. You know, 'lapdog' refers to a menial servant doing chores, doesn’t it?]" "[Then what is he?]" The eyes of the brigand sparkled at the question. "[This bastard is even worse than the magistrate. To put it bluntly, he's like a collaborator, the two of them all tangled up in mutual exploitation.]" The head of a village in Joseon was the magistrate, the Suryeong. Beneath the Suryeong, the administrative work was handled by Hyeongni, representatives of administrative posts called the Yugbang, six officers in total. Ibang (Administrative Officer), Hobang (Tax Officer), Yebang (Ceremonial Officer), Byeongjang (Military Officer), Hyeongbang (Punitive Officer), Gongbang (Public Works Officer). These Yugbang were notorious for epitomizing corruption in Joseon. Out of them, the Ibang wielded the most power, earning the dubious title of Joseon’s worst nightmare. There was a saying, rare though it was, that a virtuous magistrate might emerge. But there was never a single Ibang in all of Joseon who wasn’t a scoundrel. Even if a rare upright magistrate began administering, it wasn’t unusual for the Ibang to mobilize the Yugbang, assassinate him, and bury him away. Thus, any good magistrate was taken by the Ibang. Those who survived remained corrupt, collaborating with the Ibang to exploit the populace; in essence, the root of corruption in Joseon largely stemmed from the Ibang. The Ibang of Pungcheong-ri was also a worthy Ibang—utter trash, a veritable piece of garbage. The Yugbang, in collusion with the Ibang, extorted the people by every means possible. It was said there wasn’t a single family in Pungcheong-ri who didn't lose a family member to starvation. Their children were equally well-educated, so they frequently flogged slaves until they became disabled. Despite the poverty throughout Joseon, they never seemed to run out of meat dishes. Rumor had it they ate human flesh, given the mysterious origin of their meat. Remaining silent didn’t yield rice or meat; the Ibang compelled them to go out and capture even monsters for loot. The Ibang seized most of the spoils of brigandage under the pretense of charging interest on borrowed grain. "So, there you have it. Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Behind a secluded hill outside the village. Kneeling, the Ibang shouted defiantly at Qing's inquiry. "Do you think you’ll go unscathed after this? The nation's laws are strict—" Hmm, he’s quite delusional. Just as Qing was about to strike, chaos erupted. "Dare you! You wretch defy the monk!" "You dare defy him!" "Respect! Show respect to the monk!" One of the brigands flew in, kicking the Ibang's shoulder fiercely. The rest of the horde quickly swarmed, trampling him, beating him with clubs, leaving him bruised and battered. Oh, they had quite the pent-up frustrations... Feeling awkward, Qing lowered the hand she had raised to strike. Though, this wasn’t right. They could eventually kill him at this rate. "Stop!" The commanding shout from Qing halted the horde. "That’s enough. He might die." "Monk, he’s not worth living. He’s a bastard deserving death!" "No, no one deserves death so lightly. Why would you take a life so easily?" "But-" "Enough." The brigands backed off reluctantly, their faces full of injustice and resentment, but they couldn’t oppose her. The Ibang, tied up and crouching desperately, looked up at Qing with a pleading gaze. In response, Qing smirked. "If dead, it’s over and he gets away easy. The more egregious the bastard, the more they should live long, miserably suffering to repent. Strip their skin when visible, hang them alive, sprinkle dirt occasionally, let them starve slowly. Why grant them an easy death?" "Gasp!" "Unbelievable!" "We weren’t thinking that..." "Quiet! Remember my children starved because of him! The monk is right!" "Yes! He shouldn't die so easily!" Gongliang Suyoon whispered this to Gang Talma, who was greatly impressed. "Indeed, the words of a true demon among demons! An exceedingly heinous woman! It's hard to believe that the renowned Heavenly Flower Sword had such a murderous nature!" "I didn’t expect to hear this from a martial rob." "This is a compliment. It takes a cruel man to be a true man. If the opportunity arises where killing becomes a necessity, would you join us? There’s a cause our compatriots are pursuing. You'd be highly welcomed." "Well, if it involves killing only those who deserve it, I'll consider it?" "Ah, unfortunately, that's not the case. But if you can't contain your murderous spirit, do join us later." An invitation from the Blood Cult! Qing didn't know Gang Talma's affiliation or the nature of the ‘cause’ they were pursuing—could they be elders among barbarians fighting for independence? Regardless. Seeing the horde that tasted blood, with their rolling whites showing rather fiercely, their monstrous nature now visible. Qing mounted her horse, Lü Bu, raising her voice in a courageous shout. "Attach this one to a horse! We shall storm the government office and utterly destroy it! Once your prison burns, you will be free men! Come, let's go! Sing the song of the enraged people! Oh Buddha, let wrath descend upon us!" ### Notes on Translations: 1. **Suryeong 수령:** Kept as "magistrate" as it denotes authority in a village setting. 2. **Hyeongni, Ibang, Yugbang 육방, 이방:** Anglicized to "Administrative Officer" etc. for clarity. 3. **공량사윤(Gongliang Suyoon):** In the passage, it’s left in romanization since the character isn’t defined or explained in the original text. 4. **강탈마(Gang Talma):** Transliterated as is due to lack of context or definition. 5. **혈교(Blood Cult):** Refers to a secretive or notorious sect known in the narrative to recruit those with affinity for violence. The passage depicts the ruthless socio-political dynamics within Joseon society, showcasing a commoner up against corrupt village administration. Qing's adopted sense of morality stands juxtaposed against the inherent corruption, highlighting the brutal reality of those times. Her sarcastic approach to justice and the bleak depiction of local governance accentuate the lawlessness and desperate socio-political climate of the era.