913 - I Am This Murim’s Crazy B*tch

The path to the governmental office cut across the village. Unrest stirred the scene, and anxious eyes peeked through the cracks of straw-roofed houses, casting glances at the commotion outside. Only the curious, unafraid of worldly uncertainties and unaware of life's harshness, dared toss a glance outside, their youthful eyes full of curiosity. A child half-hid behind a fragile fence made of twigs. "[Hey, get inside quickly!]" Startled, the mother pulled the child into an embrace, swiftly retreating into the house. Over her shoulder, the child's face protruded, peering out. The skin was sallow, cheeks that should have been plump were sunken and gaunt. Unkempt lips and hair—thin and lacking luster—revealed patches of yellowish scalp. The quintessential image of a malnourished child. It was exactly how our little Ja-yeo looked when first seen. Soon, the governmental office—or rather, Dongheon, the administrative office of a Joseon village—came into sight. In particular, its symbol, the outer gate known as Oesammun. Oesammun was a two-story structure—the first level a gate and the second an open banquet hall supported by pillars with a tiled roof atop. There unceremoniously sat a large drum, the famous Sinmungo, meant to be sounded by the wronged among the populace seeking justice. Yet, even as the people were reduced to ghostly shadows from hunger and grievance, no drum sounded. Instead, the peculiar, languid vibrations of string instruments could be heard, suggesting a leisurely, even eerie, calm. Laughter and giggles resonated from the second-floor banquet hall of Oesammun. A rich broth scent, simmered to melt bones, softly enveloped Qing's senses. Qing's brow furrowed sharply. While people outside were little more than starving specters abandoning their human form to thievery, inside the government premises, within and even above the gates, they were feasting and singing. There weren’t even soldiers guarding the place while the entire village starved, making it all the more outrageous. Really, they flaunt their villainy so blatantly? Qing looked up at the upper part of Oesammun incredulously and glanced behind at the group of starving marauders. A mix of embarrassment, rage, and resignation, yet there was not a hint of surprise among them, suggesting this wasn’t an unfamiliar occurrence. "허, so even the Middle Kingdom doesn't have a monopoly on corrupt officials. These Joseon folks are quite something," even the Blood Cultist known as Gang Talma couldn't help but marvel. Qing dismounted, gesturing to the marauders to follow. "[Quietly follow me. It seems today's goal is to knock some sense into these bastards.]" Qing strode toward the stairs at the corner below Oesammun. Quickly ascending to the second-floor banquet hall which, while traditionally a place for proclamations near the Sinmungo, was at this moment animated with revelry. Men sat cross-legged on cushions, each with a woman beside them, in front of individual trays of refreshments. Even then, Qing’s eyes couldn’t help but scan over the snacks laid out, instinctively drawn towards them... Chicken and broth, a few slices of yellow pancakes, tofu and white kimchi, sliced rice cakes, with small dishes of honey and soy sauce. Simple accompaniments, indeed. While skeletal marauders barely held onto life, the officials served themselves to snacks and drink, tinkling some string instrument like a geomungo or gayageum, drinks in hand and women beside them. Beasts, splendidly qualifying as scum. They were having so much fun that Qing and the marauders weren’t noticed until well after entering. "[Ah!]" "[Who, what the hell are you, barging in here?]" A few seated farthest from the high table sprang up, pointing at Qing. In the midst of this, those seated in the center merely gazed arrogantly, feigning dignity—it was quite the preposterous sight. "[Men, what are you doing, throw them out—]" A resonant bell sound rang unexpectedly. At the same time, a beam in the banquet hall suddenly vanished halfway, revealing a brutal rent with torn edges. Every head turned toward the missing beam, then to Qing, then back to the beam, loudly gulping. "[Anyone else have something to say?]" Silence sealed their lips. "[I am Ximen Qing of Zhongyuan. I was traveling to the Changbai Mountains when some marauders blocked my way, demanding my horse as they bandited the roads. As I dealt with them, it was said they were under your orders. I might not be one for heroics, but suffice it to say, a marauder leader is better off dead than alive, don't you think? For the good of all.]" Pale were the faces of the officials, understanding they'd tangled with the wrong person. They'd poked what should have remained dormant. For in Zhongyuan, there existed the Murim—martial artists of fame and prowess who trained in skills granted no formal approval by the state. "[So, you in the middle, you must be the boss. Any explanation?]" "[There... there seems to be a misunderstanding. Those marauders are not from our village and, we've long sought to eliminate them, but they've been elusive, you see. I'll mobilize soldiers straight away to capture them all—]" "[Ah, so you know nothing of them? Is that it?]" "[That, ugh...!]” “[That wretched man!]” “[There's the district magistrate!]" The marauders shouted, hurling curses and accusations, eyes aflame. The magistrate's expression hardened. "[Silence! How dare you vermin insult your superiors! Do you truly wish to die?]" Ah, strength before the weak, weakness before the strong. How stunning that before me he whimpered, yet now he flares up when cursed by marauders. Remarkably, the marauders abruptly fell silent, shoulders hunched. --- **Terms Explanation:** 1. **Dongheon(동헌)**: Local administrative office during the Joseon dynasty. Translated as "Dongheon" to retain historical context. 2. **Oesammun(외삼문)**: The outer gate of such an office, retaining Korean pronunciation for specific architecture names. 3. **Sinmungo(신문고)**: A large drum used historically for subjects to alert officials of grievances. Retained Korean pronounciation as it's a distinctive object with cultural significance. 4. **Gang Talma(강탈마)**: Name of a Blood Cultist, keeping Korean pronunciation as it's a character name. 5. **Changbai Mountains(장백)**: Translated for geographical context within the story. 6. **Martial artists of Murim(무림)**: Retained as "Murim" as it is a unique cultural element within martial arts fiction. 7. **Geomungo(거문고)/Gayageum(가야금)**: Traditional Korean string instruments. Kept pronunciation because they are specific traditional instruments. --- **Contextual Clarifications:** - The translation retains Korean terms for specific cultural references or when direct translations don't preserve essential historical or cultural connotations. - The story captures social disparity with officials feasting while the populace starves, overlaying a narrative against villainy and corruption. - Ximen Qing, using strong martial prowess, challenges systemic injustice, echoing classic themes of martial justice. Such is the situation we find ourselves in. When people are oppressed for long by the violence of authority or force, they inevitably lose the will to resist and become continually cowed. Even Qing's homeland was like this at times, but here, in this primitive and ancient society where the disparity between classes is much more pronounced, what could one expect? "[Enough. Honest folk are forced into banditry just to survive, while you officials indulge in fine foods and wine with women entwined in your arms -]" A voice suddenly interrupted. Gong Lyang-sa Yun, already chewing on a bowl of chicken broth he somehow acquired, added his unnecessary two cents. "The meat is... tough and quite chewy, feels like I'm trying to bite through cotton. No matter how much I chew, it doesn't soften. It's rather unsatisfactory." Qing chose to ignore him. "[-You do nothing productive while alive; indeed, you cause more harm than good. The world would be better off without you.]" "[This is Joseon's affair!]" protested an official defiantly. "[Joseon's affair, you say? Shall I then make this an affair between Joseon and Zhongyuan? A Joseon official using citizens to harm a Zhongyuan traveler? Isn't this place called Pungcheong?]" The magistrate's face turned even whiter. In Zhongyuan, known for preserving appearances, such matters would not be left unresolved. A local official like a magistrate could find his head on the chopping block if Zhongyuan's wrath reached the Joseon court. "[N-no, it's a misunderstanding, esteemed one! This humble Choe made a grave mistake!]" The magistrate abruptly kowtowed, his head hitting the ground. Realizing the inevitable death awaited him either way, he resolved to bow deeply now that desperation had set in. But Qing couldn't just leave with a simple "Well done, carry on." The likelihood of suddenly transforming into a compassionate official was slim to none. If Qing left, the marauders who trusted him would surely face retaliation. So, what choice was there? No sympathy, but some must die for the greater good of the world and Qing alike. Look at those vile deeds; members of the Middle Kingdom's administration seemed virtuous in comparison. Qing's lips curled slightly into a smirk. "[Alright, here's what we'll do. I'll give you a riddle. If you solve it, I'll turn a blind eye and let it go.]" "[Esteemed one-]" "[Alright, here's the riddle: What is a duck that cannot fly? Try to guess.]" It seemed one could almost hear the wheels turning in their heads. Meanwhile, the magistrate glanced around anxiously, the sound of their efforts to think growing intense. Finally, after a moment— "[Apparently, none of you have it. The answer is—]" "Wait! I know, I know! A duck that cannot fly! Is it a greedy official, isn't it a greedy official?" Qing halted abruptly. The marauders exchanged glances. Did he guess correctly? He guessed correctly, right? It seems he guessed correctly. Qing scratched the back of her head. Who ruined the atmosphere without realizing? Turning to see a horse-faced man with a goat beard looking at him with hopeful eyes, "[Sir, it's a greedy official, right?]" "Indeed, a greedy official. Yes, right! A greedy official!" The greedy officials chuckled, feeling elated. Qing sighed deeply. "[Wrong.]" "[W-what? But a duck that cannot fly, isn't a greedy official the right answer, sir?]" "[That's not my answer.]" "[But sir, in riddles, if it makes sense, it should be counted as correct, shouldn't it be national law...]" "[It's because it doesn't make sense.]" The marauders exchanged glances again. Is he being stubborn? It seems he's being stubborn. It must be that he's being stubborn. "[Doesn't make sense? A duck that cannot fly, a greedy official can't fly, so shouldn't this be considered a solved riddle—]" "[Greedy officials can fly.]" "[Pardon?]" "[Greedy officials can fly.]" "[H-how can a greedy official fly, sir? That's nonsens—urk.]" The one insisting was abruptly cut off as though being choked. For Qing had approached like a phantom, lifting him by the throat. Then, surprisingly, Qing shouted: "[Greedy officials can fly! Because ducks can fly!]" "[G-guh, what—]" "[Go! Greedy officials can fly! Soar! To the sky! A magnificent moon will form! In this world, nothing is impossible!]" Qing tightened his grip on the man's throat with both hands. Using her planted foot as a pivot, she spun. Taking a step with the rear foot, she spun around more rapidly, adding momentum to the dizzying rotation— "[Fly! Dreams! Come true!]" With a booming shout, Qing flung him high into the air. "Aaaaagh!!" He soared in a gentle arc before crashing back toward earth. A greedy official, flying! Aaaaaaah.... The magistrate's scream faded away quickly. Dusting off her hands, Qing turned around. Aaaaaaaah...! The scream, growing closer, came from behind again. Even though she helped so much, it seemed the official didn't stay airborne long. But he did fly, right? He achieved liftoff, right? As Qing dusted her hands, the magistrate, officials, and landlords stared at her with faces as pale as sheets. In the distance behind Qing, a figure dropped straight down from the sky. --- **Terms Explanation:** 1. **Pungcheong(풍청)**: A fictional name, translated as "Pungcheong" for the setting. Retained Korean pronunciation since there's a focus on the Joseon officials and the context. 2. **Gong Lyang-sa Yun(공량사윤)**: New character introduced with a name, maintaining Korean pronunciation as it represents individual character depth in the narrative. 3. **Greedy official(탐관오리)**: Literal translation for a pun, where the riddle implies the officials are like ducks who cannot fly, portraying them as useless figures. The wordplay emphasizes the corruption of officials compared to the imagined riddle answer involving ducks. --- **Contextual Clarifications:** - The narrative uses satire and humor to critique corruption through the riddle scene. - Qing's ironic behavior lightens the intense atmosphere while asserting authority over corrupt officials. - This section highlights the disparity and absurdity within the societal hierarchy, mocking the officials’ complacency and cowardice.