919 - I Am This Murim’s Crazy B*tch

Qing sent Kim Heo-jung flying with a swing, and the recoil gently lifted her into the air before the inexorable law of gravity pulled her back down to earth. With a soft "thump," Qing hit the ground from a considerable height, causing her knees to bend elastically, distributing the impact shock throughout her body. However, her knees unexpectedly collided with her chest, abruptly catapulting her own chest upward with her knees. The pain was completely unforeseen, prompting Qing to emit an involuntary yelp. Tears welled up in her eyes; it might even bruise... she thought. Yet, the pain was secondary. She wasn’t satisfied by the impact sensation when hitting the skull of the monstrous enemy. Normally, she should have felt the solid bone beneath the skin crack or collapse, but it was as if she had struck an unyielding chunk of metal instead. In that fleeting moment of impact, Qing was certain the strange ice shield had enveloped Kim Heo-jung. Qing halted mid-motion. It would seem prudent to flee before such a formidable opponent, but should she? She had already stirred the beast in this isolated corner. What if this monster, once docile, started wreaking havoc upon her fleeing, or worse, if it headed to Zhongyuan and caused chaos there? Given its behavior, it might rage, claiming it would annihilate all of Zhongyuan. A steely resolve came over Qing’s eyes. It was best dealt with now. Objectively speaking, what crime or responsibility could really be placed upon Qing? She had been neither discourteous nor deceptive—having plainly stated her intentions. The one who misunderstood and lashed out, claiming betrayal, was Kim Heo-jung. Kim Heo-jung's humble dream, ‘Liu-woon-mong ~Regarding How My Wife and Five Daughters Cling Too Much to Me~, could be titled. A peculiar desire Qing was fortunately unaware of. Regardless. Qing collected her thoughts carefully. How to handle a visibly superior opponent? Qing had been doing this all along. If she could shake a high-level opponent into losing their cool, even the most steadfast master would falter. Fortunately, Kim Heo-jung's spiritual cultivation seemed quite superficial in comparison to his divine prowess, and one could simply point out his remarkably hideous visage. Or in the worst case, although he seemed like a woman-crazed fool, the ‘Floating Immortal Disrobing Martial Art’ might do the trick. Qing had resolved never to use it to preserve her dignity as a man, but life was more crucial than dignity. After all, she had tossed her dignity as not just a man, but as a human during the Plague Ghost era. So, a strategy. A mockery plan ( 무형지독־無形之毒)! She’d start with a light taunt: “Hey you, looking like a rotten pancake, even perch a cracked watermelon on your head, and it would be better-looking than you,” something around those lines. Qing took a deep breath to enhance her resonant voice, her chest swelling to the point of bursting, ready to deliver her taunt. Kim Heo-jung’s urgent voice cut off Qing’s insult in advance. “Wait! Miss! No, Lady! There seems to be a misunderstanding! I apologize!” Consequently, Qing's puffed-up retort deflated into a single syllable. “Huh.” --- Despite the harsh cold outside on the Kaema Plateau, the interior was teeming with warmth without a brazier in sight. This was the superior and efficient heating system of the era—a marvel of scientific architecture: the power of Ondol! While Kim Heo-jung, who had reverted to proper manners, briefly stepped away to boil tea, a bandit sat cross-legged over the lava-like heated floor, wearing a grave expression. “Listening first was the smart move, I agreed, but wouldn’t it be best to just leave? Avoiding madness is always the best policy. There’s nothing to gain from confronting lunacy.” The cryptic garble that followed suggested another point of consideration: leaving the lunatic unchecked was risky. “If we leave, and that lunatic surfaces, who will handle it? They're deeply resentful of Zhongyuan citizens—it’s part of their nature. Would the world be safe if they began hunting them down?” “Hmph. Why do you care? Life and death come down to one's fate. If a lunatic arrives and bludgeons them to death, then the dead were simply unlucky. There’s no reason you should concern yourself. Besides, if your foolish ‘act of chivalry’ results in your death, what will become of our promise?” A vein throbbed on Qing's forehead. Since when had the bandit's unilateral declaration to claim Qing's martial arts once a month become "our promise"? "This isn't some promise. Repeat after me. Res-pon-si-bil-i-ty." "Ha, hilarious. So, your grave sense of responsibility doesn't apply to our arrangement? Does responsibility get biased?" Another vein pulsed on Qing's forehead. One might think martial arts were safekeeped away. She had begged the bandit to come only once a month rather than daily; what kind of nonsense promise or responsibility is that? Since when did responsibility mean preparing valuables because the bandit promised to rob you? But Qing held her elegant lips shut instead of firing back. Because the bandit was a monster of the Profound Realm. She could talk big to the weak and act ruthless and cruel, but in front of a powerful opponent, she cowered. Regardless, Qing keeping her mouth shut was a declaration of determination to handle matters with the hunchback monster. The bandit huffed. “Well, if you are so committed... Upon reflection, if you and I join forces, I think we might be able to defeat it.” “Hmm.” --- Terms and Context: - **Kim Heo-jung (김허중)** is identified as a male character with aspirations of having five daughters and a wife, indicating his gender and context for Qing's encounter. - **육운몽 (Liu-woon-mong)** is a fictional title of Kim Heo-jung's dream, not a translation of any existing term. - **Kaema Plateau (개마고원)** and **Ondol (온돌)** are not explicitly named in the list; Kaema Plateau is a location in Korea, while Ondol describes a traditional Korean underfloor heating system; they are contextually significant. The translation handles the humor injected into Qing’s perspectives and interactions, maintaining the ironic tone and context of the story. Additionally, the character personalities, motivations, and humorous elements are emphasized to retain the author's original intent. Qing's gaze was irreverent to the extreme. Interpreting her eyes, it seemed like she was silently cursing, asking why the elder, who had been eager to flee at the first sight of the "sorcerer" just moments ago, was now suddenly contemplating defeating the enemy. It was the very definition of cursing with one's eyes. However, the bandit remained undaunted. "Back then, I completely had no understanding of what that one could do, particularly in the realm of sorcery. Therefore, by analyzing its methods, understanding its strength, and what kinds of sorcery it can perform, only then can we truly engage it." He cited Sun Tzu's most famous strategy. "Know thyself and know thy enemy; a hundred battles and no danger." At Qing's current standing, with her achieved level of expertise, she knew herself inside and out. Hence, understanding the enemy would lead to a plausible strategy. "But to do so involves prolonged confrontation and analysis, which is easier said than done. It's a highly difficult and arduous task, perhaps even life-threatening. So if that is indeed your wish, shouldn’t I, too, receive a deserved recompense for assuming such a risk?" The logic here seemed a bit convoluted. Qing eyed him suspiciously, yet the bandit's expression was nothing if not confident. And as expected. "Your Buddha’s Divine Palm is truly remarkable." “Oh, come on, even in this situation you want to snatch martial arts from me? And the Buddha’s Divine Palm is not up for grabs. How would you even wield it? If a legion of elite martial arts masters descended upon you, could you fend them off?” "How about the Azure Ripple Martial Steps, then? Having seen your legendary prowess firsthand, I still can’t quite believe it." Qing was resolute. “I’ll handle it myself, whether it turns out well or poorly. Why don't you just head back?” “Ah, I speak out of concern for you. I can’t just stand by and watch you clearly end up with 'porridge,' not 'rice.'" Not for her sake, but worrying over her skills, surely. But Qing's instincts whispered sharply. Hmm, it seems that the bandit is genuinely so invested in martial arts that he might just help during danger. There was no real need to agree to such a deal. One might wonder why a practitioner at the Profound Realm would behave this way. Once someone reached that stage, they were largely refining their own understanding into perfection. Why covet someone else's martial arts? No matter what skills he acquired, they wouldn't compare to the bandit's own White Lotus Swordsmanship—not the ancient creation, but the unparalleled one he'd perfected. While there might be many strange folks in the world, what is a 奇人? It’s an unparalleled oddball. What's strange is that there are already two oddballs here—both the bandit and Kim Heo-jung. "Shh. He's coming." The bandit, who had been using his mystical Profound Art to block sound, announced the appearance of the hunchback, Kim Heo-jung. Moments later, Kim Heo-jung opened the stiff wooden door with thick paper drafts, appearing with a tray in hand. Unaware that Qing and the bandit had been discussing his murder just moments prior, he cautiously placed the tray down. Then, bowing deeply to Qing, his bald but uneven head glinted, as though poorly charred, highlighting a more pathetic sight. "I apologize. I lost my composure due to accumulated resentments against past Zhongyuan people, and I mindlessly attacked innocent visitors, revealing my deficient cultivation. This is entirely my fault with no excuse." Kim Heo-jung’s apology was clear, his voice deep and remorseful, any sense of lightness notably absent. "Oddly enough, after venting, I feel somewhat relieved, so I apologize once more. If there is anything I can do to make amends, I will wholeheartedly assist you." Even the apology was meticulously crafted! He acknowledged his faults and their reasons without seeking them as excuses. He expressed repentance and offered recompense. Therefore, Qing felt slightly uncomfortable. She had been pondering practical ways to deal with him all along, and now guilt crept in. “Hmm.” A disgruntled sigh escaped the bandit beside her. He was hoping to leverage the situation with Kim Heo-jung into obtaining martial arts, making his dissatisfaction with the sudden turn of events inevitable. Thus, an abrupt shift to reconciliation! Yet, there was something unsettling—the glint in Kim Heo-jung’s eyes looked slimy, almost giving Qing the chills. Surely, it was just her imagination, right...? --- Terms and Context: - **Azure Ripple Martial Steps (능파미보):** Not listed in the above terms, it refers to a unique martial arts technique, specifying its distinct motion or footwork. - **Buddha’s Divine Palm (여래신장):** Already listed, referencing a powerful martial technique associated with profound Buddhist principles and potency. - **Kim Heo-jung (김허중):** Previously established as male and currently central to these events. - **Sun Tzu’s Strategy:** Reference to the famous military strategist Sun Tzu, known for "The Art of War," emphasizing tactical knowledge. The translation remains true to the realistically humorous and serious tones, reflecting Qing's cleverness and sass, along with typical wuxia elements, such as considering psychological and strategic insights in martial culture.