920 - I Am This Murim’s Crazy B*tch

As Qing narrowed her eyes, Kim Heojung brought out a sequence of small tray tables, resembling footed trays, and placed one in front of each guest. This scene unfolded because Joseon culture traditionally used separate tables for meals after the age of five. On the table rested a rustic-looking teacup and sunflower-shaped snacks. Kim Heojung then poured tea from a kettle. "Please, have some. Is there anything more comforting for a cold body than warm tea?" With that, Qing cautiously lifted the teacup, bringing it to her lips beneath the veil. At that moment, a sly glimmer appeared in Kim Heojung's eyes. Heh, drink it, once you do, you'll become my captive as well...! Though Kim Heojung believed this, his lack of expression management betrayed his sinister intentions. However, despite his openly sly expression, no one around the table sensed anything amiss. For the extreme unattractiveness turned any expression suspicious, making his face inherently dubious, sly, and grotesque, rendering any expression unreadable. Unaware, Qing slurped and inhaled the rising steam along with the fragrant air. And as it entered her mouth, an aroma burst forth. Wait, what is this? How could this... Qing opened her mouth in surprise. "Wow, it's delicious." "Haha, does it suit your taste? It's pine needle tea. I plucked new shoots individually last summer and dried them myself. I kept freezing and thawing to concentrate the essence. I've also infused a bit of ginseng." The tea, sweetened with honey and brewed with pine shoots, harmonized exquisitely with the distinctive aroma of ginseng, neither overpowering nor lacking, creating a subtle balance. Why is it so tasty? Following this, Qing picked up a snack. A rather rustic, round snack, fried to a brown hue with a subtle transparency. Yukwa, known as "Goryeo cake" in the Central Plains language. "Wow, what's this?" "Haha. It's glutinous rice dough fried with stone honey. I hope you enjoy it, despite my unskilled hands." "It's not unskilled at all. Did you make this yourself?" "Yes, living alone in the mountains led me to pursue hobbies like making snacks or cooking. I've grown and milled the glutinous rice myself. It's rather embarrassing to admit this unmanly pastime, but I'm truly happy to serve you like this." "What's unmanly about it? Wow, if you opened a shop, the line would stretch four rounds along the city wall." "Haha, you flatter me." bWpnL1VNWWVlR0h2N0IyVWd5ZUJTNnZqSDF0OEJPZ0VydmhXRzhrMkNDWG83YkM3NWI4cTkwQTBWM0pxV2hvaw The Goryeo cake Qing tasted deserved a top spot among those she'd ever eaten. In truth, Goryeo cake was inherently hard to make taste bad; after all, how could a result of glutinous rice flour dough fried with honey not be delicious? Yet the distinctively delicious appeal was perplexing—an outer crispness gave way to soft, yet not hard, inner layers, with a chewy, adhesive quality. It wasn't overly sweet, so the sweetness, while lingering on the tongue, wasn't overwhelming, with a subtle, something—wait, dried persimmon, it must have dried persimmon in it! Anyway, Qing munched away delightfully. Kim Heojung observed Qing eating well, his face painted with a sinister smile. Yes, eat. Once you've tasted my secret snack, no other snack will satisfy you. Every time you eat a snack, you'll be reminded of the Goryeo cake I personally made, hence reminded of me...! Haha...! A truly daunting scheme it was! Meanwhile, Qing's guard had significantly dropped. Seeing this, perhaps he's not a bad person after all, just unfortunate in appearance? For Qing, who had a weakness for those who bought her meals, the scheme worked exceedingly well... until. Yet, though the tea was delicious and so were the snacks, why was he staring with such a bizarre expression as she ate? What does that expression mean? There wasn't any apparent impact worth noting. "It's genuinely delicious. Goodness, how do you make such snacks? Is it a secret recipe passed down as a family treasure? Are you the grand master chef of Joseon? Eating this makes it hard to breathe. It's a killing snack. I'm struggling to breathe." Praise continued from Gong Liangsi and Kang Talma seemed to agree as she kept eating. Thus, Qing spent a moment enjoying delicious tea and snacks. Then, after stacking the tea trays neatly away, Kim Heojung, with an indescribable expression (a serious one), spoke. "It seems the young lady inquired about the Heaven-Shattering, Blood-Overturning, Heart-Piercing Decisive Strike, one of the World’s Eleven Great Demon Arts, did you not?" "You seem to know a lot about the affairs of the Central Plains, even though you seem like someone from Joseon." At that, Kim Heojung's expression shifted again. Droopy eyebrows and trembling eye corners, yet only the mouth arching sideways, even the hardest face to read was now easier to decipher. With a wry smile, Kim Heojung replied. "The one who taught me martial arts was from the Central Plains. I served for nearly thirty years, so I learned much about Central Plains matters." "Oh, your master—" "Master! That bastard was...! Ahem, apologies. There was no relationship worth calling a master or teacher, just one who taught and one who learned, even less of a relationship actually. But now, he's dead, so what's the use of resenting the departed?" Hmm, though for such, he seemed to hold deep-seated resentment, thought Qing. Surely, Kim Heojung's intense disdain for the Central Plains must have stemmed from that teacher. Of course, there was no need to pry further. Qing cut off unnecessary curiosity and returned to the main topic. --- New Terms Translated: 1. 김허중 (Kim Heojung): Identified as male due to interactions. 2. 김허중이 차곡차곡 쌓인 쟁반들 (sequential tray tables): Translating to "sequence of small tray tables," implying iteration. 3. 고려과 (Goryeo cake): Contextually, it retained its snack identity for cultural essence. 4. 공량사윤 (Gong Liangsi): Proper noun, identified and retained. Key Notes: - Names and titles maintained in their translated context, using historical or imitated terms for integration. - Comedy of Kim Heojung's expressions left integral for humor retention. - Cultural elements (e.g., Joseon meal presentation) translated directly to maintain historical accuracy. - Ambiguities around Kim Heojung clarified as narrative provides deeper interaction insights with Qing. "Yes, due to personal circumstances, I was looking for the Heaven-Shattering, Blood-Overturning, Heart-Piercing Decisive Strike, and I heard about a mysterious figure in Mount Changbai, so I came to investigate. Does anyone else besides you reside here in Changbai? I've heard the distinguishing feature of the Reverse Blood Demon is the appearance of black veins protruding on the skin." However, Kim Heojung shook his head. "I, Kim Heojung, am not some lowlife who would allow such a depraved demon to stay on the sacred ground of Changbai. It seems the rumors about me were distorted. It would be faster for you to see the unique characteristics of my martial arts with your own eyes." Suddenly, with a sharp sound, ice formed and spread across Kim Heojung's skin. Yet its surface was not smooth, but cracked like a rice field, resembling the skin of a sea turtle but with color reversed, white ice etched with black lines. "Ah..." Qing let out a disappointed sigh. It was only natural to be disheartened. The mysterious figure of Mount Changbai was not the Reverse Blood Demon! It was disappointing!! In a local event, the announcer would've definitely lamented such a catastrophe. It was already hinted when Kang Talma mentioned shamanism, but in truth, there was no Reverse Blood Demon in Mount Changbai. So what was this? I came all the way to Changbai, and had my martial arts extracted, and it was all for nothing? Wasting time, money, and even losing martial arts? No, where is the justice in this world, where a person travels with great difficulty to find not even one of the World’s Eleven Great Demon Arts? Whether it's Heaven-Rending Slaughter or the Half-Body Tribulation Sword... As Qing's lips were left trembling in shock, Kim Heojung cleared his throat. "Young lady, you must have a reason for seeking such vicious demonic arts. I deduce that there must be an irreconcilable enemy that cannot be defeated without such extreme means, and you considered fast mastery of demonic arts as your last hope, which is why you came here, did you not?" His deductions were always off the mark. Yet they weren't entirely wrong. To train enough to reach the Profound Realm seemed dauntingly far off, with no assurance, and just this trip to Changbai involved encountering martial arts bandits (Profound Realm) and a wizard comparable to them. So to quickly increase power, collecting the World’s Eleven Great Demon Arts seemed the most straightforward way. The Great Celestial Martial Emperor, or whoever he was, got sulky and refused to give the next technique. What nerve, for a concept of mental state to get sulky, my word. "However, young lady, I must tell you, demonic arts are called so for a reason. Such wicked means will ultimately harm the practitioner as well, especially if it’s one of the World’s Eleven Great Demon Arts." "Hmm..." "So, instead, let me, Kim Heojung, assist you." "Eh." Qing blinked, and blinked again. What is this? How is he suddenly offering help? Is he offering to help find demonic arts? "You need not be burdened. As a successor of the Black Tortoise Gate, I aim to establish true justice on this land and cannot overlook a pitiable woman who, due to unjust circumstances, resorts to seeking demonic arts." Qing tilted her head in puzzlement. When was my story ever unjust? Although the current situation was indeed unfair—argh, that brat Seol Ganom gave me false information, insulted me. A so-called high intellect of the third-degree, now no more than local-level intellect, last in the ranks of intelligence, below a rabbit hole. ...Or is comparing them to a rabbit hole too harsh? Above the rabbit hole, below a keeper then. But just now, something caught my attention. "The Black Tortoise Gate?" Why, within the Righteous Orthodox Martial Academy, Chaeseongha, the pretentious Blue Dragon dancer, was from the Blue Dragon Gate, and Chang Yeo-hong, the fiery panther lady, learned the Vermillion Bird Dance. Clearly, there were four directional dances—East, West, South, North—and it was said that if all are gathered, the Yellow Dragon Dance would be born. What I heard was the Black Tortoise Dance. Furthermore, the unique manifestation of using natural Qi, like the Blue Dragon Dance and Vermillion Bird Dance, was also present. Chang Yeo-hong said she joined to learn ordinary martial arts because she disliked continuously breathing fire with the Yellow Dragon Dance nonsense. Chaeseongha openly expressed her aspirations, stating she joined to gather all four, but alas, better give up. This side seems like the final boss, and Chaeseongha would need to train a hundred more years to possibly win against this level... Thinking about it, it's only natural for Black Tortoise to be powerful. Qing may lack ambition, but not intelligence. How could someone from the prestigious Hanlin Academy be foolish? As a Central Plains person, it became known to Qing that the four directional deities of the Central Plains were not of equal standing. Taking their status into account, the term "four gods" was not an accurate term. Because among the four deities, Black Tortoise was supremely powerful. So strictly speaking, it's not "four gods," but rather "Black Tortoise and three subordinates." Originally, Vermillion Bird is called Vermillion Bird, Azure Dragon is called Azure Dragon, White Tiger is called White Tiger when summoned. But when summoning Black Tortoise? It's none other than the Polar True Martial Heavenly Emperor Black Tortoise! Polar 北極, the northern god, True Martial 眞武, the god of martial arts, and Heavenly Emperor, meaning the Jade Emperor—a ruler of the celestial realm. Yet despite this, Black Tortoise never received much attention in Qing's hometown. Because... it's unattractive. At that moment. Kang Talma, who had been listening, suddenly spoke. "So, your martial ability is not sorcery but martial arts? Well, there are martial arts with shamanistic elements." Kang Talma's eyes sparkled. Why would a martial arts bandit's eyes shine? Of course, it's when planning to rob something valuable. Well, there's no denying he's a martial arts bandit. Spying a seemingly good martial art, he's looking to take it for himself. "Sorcery, you say? Old man, this is undeniably martial arts. While flawed martial arts merely use a handful of internal energy from the dantian, my martial arts command the energy of nature; that's the difference." "Then, creating ice from thin air, isn’t that a shamanistic element?" --- **New Terms Translated:** 1. 김허중 (Kim Heojung): Male figure, central to the plot here. 2. 장백산 (Mount Changbai): Retained as a proper noun. 3. 청룡문 (Blue Dragon Gate): Historical context retained, helping distinguish martial arts styles. 4. 주작무 (Vermillion Bird Dance): Retained for its cultural significance in the narrative. **Notes:** - Black Tortoise Gate (현무문) indicates another martial institution tied with celestial concepts, mirroring Joseon's four mythical creatures. - Qing's humor and intrigue show through her internal monologue and reflections. - Qing's handling of the absurdities captures her adept navigation despite unpredictabilities, maintaining character consistency. - The complexity of the celestial deities continues to unravel, providing depth to the martial arts lore. "In nature, there is a subtle but distinct flow of water energy (수기, 水氣). The Black Tortoise deity (현무대신, 玄武大神) is the guardian spirit overseeing this water energy, and I merely borrowed what naturally exists. How could I create something that doesn't exist in this world?" Kim Heojung spoke in a manner curt and devoid of courtesy to Kang Talma, which, in other words, lacked any semblance of politeness. Of course, Qing didn't particularly care. After all, she's only calling Kang Talma "Elder" because she's wary of the Profound Realm, considering him an evil bandit for whom politeness is unnecessary. "Oh. Is that so? So, tell me, does mastering this martial art make one resemble the Black Tortoise?" At that moment, Kim Heojung's expression twisted violently. But only for a brief second. Glancing at Qing, he formed what appeared to be a smile, perhaps forcefully stitched together— "Indeed, a back like the indestructible diamond shell of the Black Tortoise deity (현무대신, 玄武大神) emerges, and its appearance starts to resemble the grandeur of the Heavenly Emperor." After sneaking another glance at Qing, he continued. "Though my appearance may look hunched like a hunchback, my back is not curved; it's simply that I bear the world's most formidable shield. So, even when considering progeny, there's absolutely no resemblance to the Black Tortoise deity." Glancing at Qing once more. "Absolutely no such issues with descendants. Yes." Shock! Kim Heojung wasn't a hunchback! The nickname of Master Divine Turtle (신귀, 神龜) actually used the character for turtle (龜)! Kang Talma's expression darkened at this revelation. "Hmm, no matter how divine the skill, hmm. Even if it's that divine skill, hmm." The murmuring sounds from Kang Talma's mouth. Anyone listening might think he was considering teaching something. Yet Kim Heojung continued speaking. "Do you know what the Black Tortoise deity (현무대신, 玄武大神) looks like? That shell is as majestic as Mount Tai, and the head is truly a divine turtle, but astonishingly, the tail is the form of a gigantic snake. A long, thick serpent is attached." "Hmm?" "I am similar. A giant serpent in every essence." Then, revealing his teeth to Qing— Aligned teeth that glittered stark against his otherwise mismatched grin. Qing pondered briefly what on earth he was insinuating. No, this punk, a serpent, a serpent? Hmm, I'm envious, seeing as I lost what I had, and someone who seems to have no practical use for it claims to have a serpent. But what's the meaning here? Why is he speaking so proudly while looking at me? I mean, surely one would be proud, but why direct it at me...? --- **New Terms Translated:** 1. 신귀 선생(Master Divine Turtle): Retained the meaning behind the nickname using "turtle" for clarity in context. 2. 수기 (water energy, 水氣): Explained as a naturally existing phenomenon often overlooked. 3. 현무대신 (Black Tortoise deity, 玄武大神): Contextually crucial, enhancing mythical elements in the narrative. **Notes:** - Inclusion of water energy emphasizes the Black Tortoise's association with water, making this more than a mere mythical reference but also a reflection of martial prowess. - The humor emerges from the unexpected contrast between mystical significance and vain boasting in mundane aspects like crooked teeth. - Qing's internal monologue retains authenticity, showcasing humor and insight as she deciphers these interactions. - Qing's curiosity interacts with mythic levels of martial mythology, marrying absurdity and intrigue seamlessly.