Chapter 22 - The Girl Wants to Be M*rdered

**Chapter 22: Mutual Bonding** * * * Time that could've changed the seasons a thousand times over. Time in which the natural world could've been born and perished ten times more. Throughout that long span, I merely existed, squandering away the years. Without achieving a single thing, without harboring a wish to change, I was just like a stone, lodged in one place, perhaps kicked around on paths by passing people. Yes. The things I achieved could have been done by any random passerby, not just me. To such a person as myself, there was no value. "—Alright, it's time to wake up." ".....Hmm...." But not anymore. Now, there's something only I can do. Perhaps it was because I read her stories until last evening, but today she seemed to have overslept. She clung tightly to the blanket, reluctant to leave its warmth. I rose early to prepare breakfast and then sat beside the still-slumbering child. Gently, I ran my fingers through her silky hair, savoring its smooth texture. A tingling sensation. It felt like a current running through my fingertips. Breakfast might get cold, but that wasn't important. It could easily be reheated. This fleeting moment right now is far more precious. The previous version of me, who cursed the unmoving sun, wishing for tomorrow to come, no longer existed. Now, I found the sands of time slipping through my fingers infuriatingly fast. I wish this moment would last forever. I firmly believed that only I should be here by her side. I could never allow someone else to sit next to her. A month has passed since I started calling the child Alice. Compared to the span of my previous life, it was but a fleeting moment. Yet that moment was precisely what I truly longed for. My value began to slowly emerge. Yes, this is life. This is what it means to live. Rough, brutal, rampaging poison. This poison, it engulfs me. "—Alice, if you don't wake up, I'm going to play a trick on you." "......Hmm...just a little...just a bit more..." "Really.... There's no helping it then.." I felt truly alive. ** On the day Ellie resolved within her heart and bestowed a new name upon me. Even the sun shone down joyfully on us that day, rising high and setting beyond the mountains. For time, we don't even exist. It was such a delightful day. Truly, it was good. "Really.... Ellie, you...!!" "Ha...haha... I just got swept up in the mood, there was nothing I could do." "Hmph! I'm going to sulk!" I exaggeratedly pulled aside the neckline of my clothing to reveal the junction where neck met shoulder, likely showing a red mark. Of course, I can't say for sure since I can't see it directly, but judging by the sharpness of pain I felt, it was likely pretty serious. Didn't expect to be bitten just for not waking up. That was too much. I pouted and showed her my wound. Look! That mark! I protested. "Are you really going to sulk..? I'll... sulk, you know?" "...Sometimes holding a grudge isn't so bad, it seems." "Hmm? What did you say?" "Ah, nothing." Since that day, Ellie changed, taking a vastly different, more assertive approach. Contrary to the past when she kept her distance as if an invisible wall separated us, the drastic shift left me unknowingly shocked. Playing tricks like this morning, I hadn’t seen such her display before. When people grow close, they reveal unexpected sides, but this was not just a new side; it seemed her whole exterior had changed. Like how a monk who discovers the taste of meat leaves no food untouched in the temple, once she understood love, she couldn't return to her unknowing past self. Well, even when she struggled not to form attachments, it was endearing. Eventually, sinking into deep mud seemed inevitable, like it was easy to predict. Better to surrender and accept it. Love is like a thorn; the more you pull, the deeper it penetrates. Hehe. Though I felt a little regret not seeing the cold and unfeeling Ellie anymore, I liked her current self, so it wasn't bad. This is a good change. Yes, if you're human, you must approach others and form bonds properly. I merely showed her the right way to live. Even the brushing of sleeves is fate. Yet a meeting heralds a parting, and love implies a separation at some point. "So, Alice, what shall I do for you?" ".....Feed me." "Pardon?" "...Feed me." "......" Ah, this is dangerous. Instinctively, I realized it. With my words, her mood froze. But soon Ellie gathered herself, and the determined vibe she gave off was palpable. I realized. Ah, I've said something wrong. The thought of escaping crossed my mind, and enacting it came quickly. Capture came sooner. Though I didn't hear the chair move or footsteps approach, it took only seconds for my body, honed by countless games of tag, to be ensnared. It's okay! I can eat on my own! But didn't you just ask to be fed? No, it was a joke! So it's really okay! Pranking deserves punishment. Now— Whoa—?!! Afterward, I was fed relentlessly. Ellie cradled me like a baby, blowing on each spoonful before guiding it to my mouth. Goo-goo, I'm baby Alice. Sniffle. By the way, the food was delicious. Tch. ** A month, and there had been many changes in Ellie. Well, I can say that from tone to everything else, everything turned upside down. It’d be faster to list what stayed the same, but for now, three main examples might suffice. First, Ellie began to call me "Alice." I have no idea where she conjured that name from. While I can understand others' emotions well, no matter how adept I am, I cannot read thoughts themselves. Ellie is likely aware of my original name and identity, "Aris." She may have decided to call me "Alice" due to its resemblance. Though that hypothesis seems plausible, something's nagging. For her, the scenario where I regain my memories is something she’d wish to avoid at all costs. It seems unlikely that Ellie would give me a name that might provide a clue or carry a wish for me to remember. Moreover, the profound emotion I felt every time she called me Alice. A tangled storm of feelings, so complex that even I couldn't untangle it all. Surely, there’s a deep story behind it. Ugh... I really don’t know. There are no hints, and asking wouldn't guarantee an answer. Since my name isn’t overwhelmingly important, perhaps I shouldn’t worry about it. Maybe Ellie just had a friend with such a name at some point. Yes, that's probably it. Next, the frequency of her ‘disinfecting’ my wounds has decreased. Something that used to happen almost daily has now dwindled to about once a week. The intensity of it has also diminished significantly. Her tongue only barely brushed over my wounds. It neither hurt nor felt overly ticklish. If before it was like tackling tanghulu, now it’s just a simple coating—something of that sort. The reduction wasn't due to my wounds healing gradually, but an overnight change suggests there might be a reason behind it. When I endured the disinfection well, devoid of ticklishness, Ellie would let out a sigh as if something was amiss. Why...? Lastly, the frequency of Ellie going out to hunt at night has increased. I don’t know why. Despite holding my hand and walking outdoors under the blazing sun, why does she hunt only at night? And why has the interval shortened? As a well-disciplined child who went to bed early and woke up early, I pretended not to notice Ellie's unusual behavior. Of course, I’m just so considerate. From what I observed over the past month, she goes out once every three days, it seems. And as always, she'd return reeking of the scent of blood. Hunting. So, the chunks of meat that recently began appearing in my meals were obtained by Ellie herself. Mostly rabbit and deer. Indeed, even before Ellie started calling me Alice, there had been hunting. However, it wasn’t nearly as frequent as every three days. Once a week at most. The fact that I began eating meat doesn’t entirely explain it. After all, I don’t eat much. Maybe that’s the reason? The intense scent of blood that was noticeable since our first meeting. No matter how much she washed, the pungent smell lingered in her nails, in the bends of her ankles and knees, and behind her ears—it just wouldn’t wash away. That has resurfaced. So many things have changed, yet some remain constant. The bandages over my eyes, even though my wounds are nearly healed, show no signs of being removed. I did ask if they could be taken off now and then, but the response was always, "Not yet." Huh? Ah, I really don’t understand. Here I am, having given my everything to her, yet there are still so many secrets she keeps from me. If you keep doing that, it only makes me more curious. That, Ellie, is your doing. Previously, when I contemplated delving into Ellie's secrets, my intuition warned me of danger. "......." My intuition was quiet. That fact made me feel so happy, as it seemed Ellie genuinely cherished me. Ellie, we’re quite close, right? We're friends, yes. Good friends. So— Between friends, no keeping secrets, alright? "Hehe." With a big grin, I chuckled. *** Episode 2: The Woman of the Blood Scent (?) The end. After a few side stories, the next part will be aired. The side stories will be based on recommendations from comments and my own desires to write. * * *