Chapter 21 - The Girl Wants to Be M*rdered

**Chapter 21: Naming** --- Her heart pounded wildly, as if it had lost control. Thump, thump. The sound of her heartbeat resonated in her ears, as if echoing from within her chest. Surely, the child couldn’t hear this sound? A wave of unease washed over her. The child, after asking a question, simply stared at her, motionless and wordless. "........" "........" The silence was unbearably heavy. Though the child’s eyes were bound with bandages and couldn’t see her, she instinctively avoided their gaze, focusing instead on the floor. The weight of guilt pressed down upon her. Yet that guilt soon transformed into anger, burning within her heart. Anna. Anna Achaia. That cursed Anna...!! Uncontainable rage targeted the person she had never spoken to. Anna... Why are you, like some lingering ghost, still here with this child?!! Let her go... An indescribable fury climbed up her spine. She felt her head heat up, and her pupils dilate as if she were intoxicated. But those emotions had to subside. Because, in front of this child, she had no right to feel that way. "......Ellie, sister?" "......Ah—" A cautious voice calling her name snapped her out of her thoughts. Eyes are said to be the windows to the soul. Despite the bandages obscuring the child’s face, her attitude, voice, and the corners of her mouth all conveyed genuine affection towards her. Yes. The child was kind. There was no better way to express it. Such kindness that she only knew how to care for others, neglecting herself. Surely, there must be something about this stifling life she wished to complain about. It would make sense for her to question my strange and bizarre actions that only bring pain. She would be justified in throwing a tantrum at least once. Yet, the child, instead of doing that, always considered my subdued mood first, trying to lighten the atmosphere. She continued to follow my somewhat whimsical and strange words and commands. That was affection. An affection that was so sweet, it felt as sticky as to be inescapable. In the end, she had no choice but to admit it. She could no longer let go of the child before her. "Ah... Wasn't it Anna? That name..." "Yes…!" Talking about the name Anna noticeably brightened the child’s expression. It was a smile more beautiful than anything she had seen before. —Crunch. She bit her lip. Her sharp fangs, capable of tearing through tough meat, pierced through her soft lips like paper, letting the red liquid within scatter. The salty taste of blood was familiar. Her tangled thoughts seemed to sort themselves out gradually. "......" Gulping, she swallowed. If only you were a bad child, she thought, almost letting the words escape her mouth. But that wish vanished into the darkness along with the swallowed saliva. Wishing for a good child to turn out to be bad. Truly, she acknowledged being a hopeless, wicked monster. If only you feared me, rejected me, betrayed me, sought to escape far from this place, would my heart have found relief? If only you did— Then maybe, without remorse, I could have consumed you. Now, it's too late. "Ah, yes. Anna, Anna... Anna." "Did you find anything out, sister?" "Ah… ah, yes. There's something." She stood at a crossroads. The words she was about to utter here could potentially change everything in the future. For some reason, she believed that. Her intuition was sounding an alarm. Crossing this threshold means there’s no turning back. She lifted her hand and closed her eyes. Darkness enveloped her. It was as if a long line lay in front of her. To speak the truth or to betray the child’s trust. If she were to tell the horrifying truth, the child would surely run to her sister. She couldn't imagine any other future. Knowing the child, she was bound to do so. —But that must be prevented, no matter what. The devil whispered. The child would seek her sister to alleviate the guilt of believing she killed her, or perhaps to understand why the First Princess hated her. Or both. The child was that kind-hearted. Faced with the one who cold-bloodedly tried to kill her, she would even claim it was her own fault. She’d promise to change whatever the sister disliked, begging not to be abandoned. Crying and complying with any humiliating demands. What would become of the child? What would that woman do? Would the woman, capable of such cruelty, rejoice at the return of the child she killed? Would she throw a ball or gather people to celebrate? Provide a warm home and food, and welcome her as family? No… no… That couldn’t be…!!!! A shattering sound resonated within her heart. She crossed the line in front of her. She couldn’t believe it. Yes, she couldn’t entrust the child to such a woman. She had no right. It would be generous if she didn’t attempt another murder. "Uh... sister..." "....!!" The image of her lifeless body, bloodied and writhing on the riverbank, was still vivid in her mind. Once again, the child would be betrayed and scarred with an indelible mark. She couldn’t allow that. Indeed. It was all to protect the child. It wasn’t betrayal. It was about safeguarding...! So I— I— "I'm sorry. I couldn't find anyone by that name." "Ah....?" **"I couldn't find her."** The bright smile vanished from the child’s face, leaving her frozen like ice. I spoke, clearly and deliberately, so every syllable reached her ears. No. There’s no one. Even if such a person existed, I wouldn't allow it. So don’t chase after such illusions. I’m right here in front of you. "No, there’s no one like that." "Ah... uh…?" "Not a single one." Hearing my response, the child clasped her right arm around her left and began to tremble uncontrollably. Ah. I said it. I’ve said it now. There’s no turning back. Was she that shocked? Her body seemed to slowly tilt to the side. "––Oh no." "Huff... huff... haa…" Thud. I quickly got up from my chair and rushed to her side. Standing beside her as she swayed on the chair, seemingly overcome by shock, I caught her frail body before she could fall. Her body was light as a cloud and soft as a feather. It was all for her. The angel within my heart nodded with a faint smile and slowly faded away. I’m sorry. But I love you. I hugged her tightly, gently patting her back. Perhaps it was just my imagination, but her whimpers seemed to lessen. Knowing that she leaned wholly on me brought such pleasure. I thought to myself. I should have done this sooner. "Ah... ah…!" "There, there, it's alright. If we keep searching, we might find something, don’t you think?" "Really...?" "Of course. I’ll continue to help you look until we find something." Isn’t forgetfulness described as a blessing from the gods? Yet for a child who can’t live without dedicating her entire being to a single name, losing all her memories and past, forgetting is nothing but a curse. Hope, clues, memories, past. Having lost all her emotional pillars, the child no longer appeared poised and mature but rather like a girl of her age. As I comforted her, I caught sight of a mirror I had seen before. The same unchanged reflection stared back at me, with hair as black as murky water. Eyes, red and unhideable, testified to the monster within. The same tiresome face I had seen for centuries. But there was one difference. What’s this, me? Even though I’ve lived with a mask on all this time. I can still make faces like that, huh? Well, it looks alright. "Huh... hick... hwaaah...!!" "Yes, it’s alright to cry. See, I’m here for you." I cradled her head against my chest as she wept sorrowfully. At this moment, and in the future as well, I'm the only one she can rely on. At this moment, the two diverging futures converged into one. A grinning mouth stretched across the red-eyed woman's face in the mirror. I stared straight into the mirror and spoke. I don’t care what anyone says. You all made me this way in the first place. I’m a bad monster. It’s only natural for monsters to do bad things, isn’t it? I will make this child mine. I gently stroked her neck as she completely gave herself over to my embrace. Using my nails, I left small marks on her flawless, milky skin. One was too lonely, so two. "I’ll give you a name." "...Ellie sis...ter?" "Not having a name to be called by is a rather lonely thing, after all." The child stilled her sobs and looked up at me. Playing with my tongue like a serpent, I began to coil a string around her neck. I’ll make you happy. Now. "Alis, how does that sound?" **