Chapter 20 - The Girl Wants to Be M*rdered

**Chapter 20. Choice** Farming. An activity where one scatters seeds or plants on the ground, later harvesting the fruits that grow there. Despite being recognized as arduous labor with a long-standing history, surprisingly, many people enjoy and cherish this work. Without needing to look around much, I too am among them. The reasons for one's love of farming are as varied as the number of people, but perhaps the most recognized reason is that rewards follow hard work. It's said that the earth doesn't lie. Though, the sky above sometimes showers down lies that are hard to accept. Like torrential downpours, storms, typhoons, and droughts, among others. Regardless, today as always, farmers rise before the stars vanish beyond the horizon and the sun reveals itself—setting out at the same unchanging time. They plow the fields, uproot weeds, and prepare the soil. Silently, they sow seeds with care. Even though sometimes the seeds may not sprout at all, or they may wither shortly after sprouting, or become fertilizer for other plants without bearing fruit, I too silently sow seeds today, just like them. And finally, has the sky acknowledged the sincerity of my prayers? The seeds I planted have begun to sprout green. Quietly, little by little. The shell starts to crack. This one is Anna. This one is Remi. And this one— —Ellie. I decided to name the plant 'Ellie,' taking inspiration from her nickname. ** A month ago. It was the day I planted the seed within Saeli—Ellie, my sister. Upon realizing she had lost her memory and feigning madness, I was overpowered by Ellie, and upon waking from a bed in a shared bedroom, I began to slowly recount my memories amidst Ellie's concern. Was it necessary to remember when my head hurt or when my heart was weary? Her comment prioritizing my well-being over recalling my memories nearly brought tears to my eyes. Sniff. Even though it was all an act from the start. 'Aris Akaia' had to die. There was no reason to live. So I decided to be the one to end it all myself. I claimed to have forgotten everything. The memories of the past ten years, the happy moments, precious family, even my own name—everything was gone. Like bubbles formed on waves crashing against solid rock, disappearing in an instant. Completely gone, as if nothing existed. Except for one thing. "Anna..." "....Anna, is that your name?" When Ellie asked my name, I could only mumble those two letters: 'Anna.' Anna. Anna Akaia. The unfortunate sister who, in an attempt to escape her own inferiority, attacked me, her own flesh and blood. Even now, for the sake of the sister who died pointlessly due to a misguided choice, she would be continuously striving tirelessly. "No... no...!!" "....!!" "I...! I am saying that name... Who... Who is it? Ah...!!" "...Please calm down!! Now, breathe. Breathe deeply. Now—" Holding my chest, I wept. Tears streamed down, soaking the bandages. Later, Ellie, believing I had fallen into panic again, nearly knocked me out, or forced me back onto the bed while I writhed in anguish. The impact of being laid back sent sharp sensations through my entire body, making me scream. Then, Ellie, not knowing what to do, apologized excessively. How immensely enjoyable it was to hear Ellie's voice in shock at that moment. According to Saeli, I was found at the lower reaches of the river. Even though a river could naturally serve as a border leading through various countries, there's always a limit to how far it can go. Considering my physical state, I couldn't have drifted for very long. At most, perhaps tens of kilometers? If my body had floated any further than that, I'd have become fish food by now. So, I'm within the Tesilia Kingdom, and no matter how far you extend the boundaries, it's only 'nearby.' The name 'Anna' and my appearance suggesting nobility. With her kindness toward such a young child, she would surely spare no effort in tracing my past for my sake. Ultimately, in return for her sincerity, she will soon discover it. The horrific past of 'Aris Akaia.' A child discovered in a state near death. Though the circumstances remain unknown, something terrible had been done by someone sinister, leaving the body in shreds, and the memory too shocked to recall the events of that time. And the only thing the young child remembered was a name estimated to be that of a family member—just two letters. "Anna.... Anna..." "......." The child sang the name every day as if it held untold importance, yearning to meet them. Even in her sleep, she would mutter that name. Yet, the gods are cruel. Eventually, the truth she uncovered was—the sister the child longed to meet was actually the perpetrator of that horrific crime. Driven by jealousy over her sibling’s talent, she mercilessly stabbed her youngest sister and cast her off a cliff. A monstrous act unfathomable to be committed by a human with warm blood flowing in their veins. Hehehe. Hahaha. Will Ellie tell me the dreadful truth? Or will she betray the child's expectation and spew lies? The so-called white lies. Like a doctor instilling false hope to a terminal patient assuring them survival. Some believe such actions, born of good intentions, are ethical deeds. But a lie is a lie, in the end. The one who utters it must bear the guilt for it. I wonder... What choice will my sister make? Go on— Choose. Life is a continuous series of choices, and no one can escape from this cycle. She hoped not to face it, but the moment of choice relentlessly sought her out. Tada, just like this. After a somewhat different, peculiarly intense day of "sterilization," unlike the previous days. I sensed something amiss from the way Ellie was behaving towards me. Hmm...? Of course, I knew she harbored a mysterious guilt towards me before, but today, the intensity seemed remarkably different. If the past was just coffee, today it felt like Starbucks? "Sister...?" "........" Tap, tap. I leaned on the cane and made my way to the kitchen. Even after calling out to her, there was no response. Unlike the previous her who would always reply within seconds, now Ellie seemed disconnected from my words. I approached the space where I sensed her presence and leapt into her arms with open arms. The familiar scent emanating from Ellie hit my nostrils sharply. While I couldn't quite discern the scent of flowers or food, strangely, I could discern the smell of blood so well. Fascinating. I nestled against her back and called her name. "Ellie...?" "...Ah!" Usually, Ellie would recognize me easily, even if I sneaked up on her with all my might. Yet now, Ellie didn't notice until I approached with my cane and embraced her. Her voice tinged with surprise, Ellie slowly began to speak to me. Hehe. Sister, you'd better not play poker games later, you know? At this rate, you'll lose everything. I can tell just from your voice. "...I'm sorry. I made a mistake." "Huh? What do you mean...?" "...It's nothing. Now, let's eat." Her tone was more fragmented than usual, and there was a noticeable delay, almost as if her mind was elsewhere. Her response was so delayed that even a child who adores and follows her might find it strange. Sister, you've found out, haven't you? I've realized it too. Could the unusual pain from today's "sterilization" be because of this? Despite noticing her odd behavior, I slowly made my way to the spot set for my meal and sat down. A soft chair greeted me warmly. "Here it is. I tried something a bit different today." ".........." "Is something amiss?" The spoon moved round and round, stirring but never lifting. Scrape, scrape, the plate echoed sharply against the spoon. As usual, the meal was a diluted soup tailored to my physical condition. However, noticing the increased portion and bits of solid within it, Ellie seemed to believe my condition had improved. Yet, I didn't lift the spoon for a long time. "......." "......." Once I put down the spoon, a profound silence enveloped the kitchen. I could feel her gaze steadily resting on me. Perhaps she thought my reluctance to eat meant I had a distaste for this different meal? Or maybe she thought the unusually painful treatment left me without the energy to eat? Well, I do crave something. I spoke. "Ellie..." "Yes? What's the matter?" Ellie's voice trembled slightly. So finely crafted that without careful listening, it would be hard to detect the difference. But often, those who put on a brave front are rotting inside from worry and doubt. Ellie probably is listing possible mistakes, haunted by all sorts of imagined guilt, isn't she? But what I am about to say isn't some trivial matter—it's something bigger, a form of... Yes. A bomb, perhaps? I spoke slowly, and in a low voice. Gulp, I heard Ellie swallow. "Sister... did you find Anna?" "...!" The air, froze. Now, it's time for your choice, Ellie. What will you choose—a reality brimming only with despair, or the illusion of non-existent hope? Both choices aren't all that different, after all. Ponder it all you want. Really ponder it. ** * * *