Chapter 28 - The Girl Wants to Be M*rdered

〈Chapter 28〉 Encounter * * * ** The sun retreated behind clouds so dark and dense they forbade even the briefest glimpse of its form. The torrential rain, as sudden as a passing shower, ceased, leaving the forest bathed in shadows while the cacophony of insects began to fill the space. Chirrup, chirrup. Unidentifiable insects responded to each other in a symphony. —BREATH, BREATH. “...Umph…” Amidst this serenade, a child lay in a room, journeying into dreams. The child’s closed eyes were bandaged, and between loose-fitting clothes, grotesque scars were visible, testimony to a life far from ordinary. Even in dreams, seeking comfort perhaps, the child held the blanket tightly, appearing blissfully happy, a sight that would inspire smiles in anyone watching. “..........” And observing from a narrow gap, there was a pair of eyes. —Creak “..........” “.....Eek...” The door creaked open slowly, and through the widening crack, two lights flickered. In a darkness where even the gentle moonlight did not enter, a pair of eyes, glowing red, looked intently at the sleeping child, oblivious to the world. Unable to draw closer, watching from afar. They were vertically slit like a predator’s, which might give the impression of a beast stalking its prey, but in truth, anyone who saw would understand otherwise. Those red eyes held undeniable affection for the child. “.........” “...Yawn…” Saeli, owner of those eyes, stood in the room for some time, watching the child sleep peacefully. It seemed she was determined not to forget that tranquil visage. The small smile she wore held that unspoken promise. “....Sweet dreams.” “....Mmm...” She murmured softly, unheard by the child. As if in reply, the child uttered a cute sleep-talking sound. Startled for a moment, Saeli glanced at Alice. “...Haha.” Seeing the sleep-talking child made her lips curve into a slight smile. The child seemed not to be waking from their deep slumber anytime soon. Confident that no major disruptions would arise for the coming hours, Saeli departed the room as silently as possible, wary of disturbing the child's rest. The latch clicked as the door was locked. A whisper of footsteps, too faint for an ordinary person to detect, gradually retreated from the room. Step, step. Quietly, ever so quietly. To elsewhere. Until completely— —Gone. “...........” In the darkness, unseen by anyone, the child’s fingers twitched slightly. The child smiled slyly. Teehee. A laugh holding back, barely suppressed, echoed softly beneath the still night sky. ** It was a modest, yet heartfelt desire. Preparing a meal for someone, sharing a meal at a table together. Beneath the warm sunlight, holding each other’s hands, inhaling the fragrant scent of flowers. To realize that sleeping was not merely the conclusion of a tiresome day, but rather the anticipation of an exciting tomorrow, made it impossible for me not to acknowledge it. I could never return to my former days. “─Wheeze, wheeze!!” “.......” Someone who has lived their whole life in darkness does not know what darkness truly is. Likewise, a monster who lived a lifetime in solitude could not recognize their loneliness. Gradually growing accustomed to contempt and oppression. Because that was normal. Because it was everything they knew of life. —But unfortunately, the monster discovered love. “Squeal!! Squeak, squeeeak!” “.....Yes, indeed.” For just one day, just one single day. Tomorrow, I would tell everything. Actually, the one who saved you is not a sweet, dependable sisterly figure. I was going to tell you this unsettling truth, that I am a monster with unsettling red eyes, who secretly savored your blood while licking your wounds. I intended to unbind the bandages that have hidden your eyes and reveal the concealed lies. To Alice— '.....Alice—' 'Ellie unnie!! Here!! I made this just for you—!' '.......' '..Is it... a mess...?' I was going to say— 'Teehee...' 'Aren't you hot?' 'It's warm... but I prefer it this way!' ...Steeling my resolve— '—You cannot leave your peppers.' '..Eh, eh!?' 'I can see everything.' 'U... Ugh...' .........The truth ‘—Ellie unnie, I love you!!’ '......!!!' I intended to speak. But the thought of betraying Alice was unbearable. I was terrified at the thought of the child gazing at me with fear. Even this momentary happiness atop the fragile glass castle, I wished for it not to be disrupted. I would tell you tomorrow. No, next week. When the month ends. After spring has passed and flowers have withered, then everything— ... Then a day passed, a week passed, a month passed—before I knew it, Alice had been in my home for half a year. Despite that, the bandages covering Alice’s eyes, changed each morning, remained unremoved for half a year. Firmly tied, never coming undone over her eyes. I missed the right time. Had I revealed everything at the beginning, when we barely knew each other, would it have been alright? If I had mustered the courage to tell all, risking abandonment, would that have been okay? Contemplative what-ifs haunted me every night before sleep. If I had done this, or that, every time. Perhaps, if I had, actually, if I was... At this point, that time, on this occasion. The chain of hypothetical scenarios drew a line between the happily deceitful illusion and the grim reality, tormenting me until the early morning hours. Maybe I should have spoken during those moments of hesitation. Haha. Hahaha... Whoosh! “Ha…” “Wheeze... wheezing... wheeze...” But now, it’s far too late. This all began with my small actions, driven by a desire to keep my true nature a secret. Not wanting that lie to be discovered, I added another lie on top of it. One lie after another. Like a snowball, the lies grew larger, gathering mass as they rolled. Tumbling down a snow-laden mountain, the snowball rolled. What started as a small, tightly packed fistful of snow grew into a head, then a body, transforming into a person, a tree, a forest, and finally, a mountain. Small lies became the flesh and blood of other lies, eventually escalating into an avalanche that threatened to sweep everything away. No turning back now. Truly. At what point did it all go wrong? —Drip, drip. “...Wheez...” “...Hahaha...” Empty eyes gradually losing their vitality come into view. Even so, clutching to the dwindling spark of life, the boar strove desperately to escape me. A futile struggle, such meaningless behavior. In its eyes, fueled by a flicker of defiance, I was reflected. In those frightened eyes, a monster appeared. Holding the vividly colored flesh whose nature was hard to discern, she was drenched in blood from head to toe. Slick, she tore off a piece of the meat with her teeth. Snap, a fresh sound like the burst of juice resonated. As the boar's eyes whitened, the visage of a blood-drenched creature emerged. Ah. Yes, perhaps it was wrong from the very beginning. “—Did I do something wrong?” “........” The corpse was already cold. I knew a boar, let alone a lifeless corpse, couldn’t answer me. Yet, I had to ask. I couldn’t help but ask. “Did I do something wrong?” “.......” “Is it that again, my existence itself is the problem!? You’re saying—!!!” Three days, three days it had been. Three days since I withstood this dirty, hideous, and abominable compulsion. Previously, I held off these urges for over a month, but now, even lasting a week became difficult. The interval shortened rapidly when I ceased drawing upon Alice's blood, and enduring past every two days became impossible. At first, I resisted—of course, for the child sleeping peacefully beside me, I tried to suppress it. I scratched my throat, broke my fingers, and even considered pulling out all my teeth. But I failed. It felt like swallowing searing oil, making my throat ache, and my lungs felt as if filled with dancing sand. It was agonizing. It hurt. It was as if the pain reminded me that I wasn’t human. Even in the moisture-laden air of dawn, my mouth remained parched as if it were a desert, seeking something to quench this burning thirst. Blood and flesh. Small life. —Alice. “Phew, haha... hahaha...!” “........” “Haha... haha... hahahaha...” I laughed. Bent at the waist, squeezing the hunk of flesh in my hand, I laughed. Splatter, blood sprayed everywhere. Faced with the pitiful reality, I could do nothing but laugh. —Yes, my body craved Alice. The memory of her sweet aroma, almost intoxicating, and the sharp tang it brought washed through my entire being, still lingered in my mind—a devilish temptation that was unforgettable. Despite my final determination to prove that I wasn’t raising Alice for this purpose, my body still desired her blood and flesh. Yes, this was punishment. A penalty for the wicked monster who bound and confined an innocent, oblivious canary, passing judgment upon herself in her narrow cage. “Ha... haha...” “......” As the sun set, and countless stars emerged in the night sky, a place where life stirred and awakened, far outnumbering the stars. In that vibrant place, now, only my laughter echoed. The rustling bushes fell into a deathly silence. Animals, even insects, covered their mouths. Lest their sounds give them away, they retreated, exerting every effort to avoid detection by me. Fear. “Ha...hahaha!!” Are you afraid of me too? Yes, perhaps you would be. Realizing this was so obvious that it made me feel nauseous, so amusing that it was murderous. I could only laugh. Lost in a trance, I sent derisive laughter toward the silent bodies. I laughed and laughed again. “—Sister?” “—Huh?” Creeeak. A head turned. ** * * *