Chapter 29 - The Girl Wants to Be M*rdered

〈 Chapter 29 〉 **Chapter 29. Punishment.** --- Like a ball tossed into the sky inevitably falls back to the ground. Like a life born amidst cheers inevitably fades away in silence. A lie built upon an unstable foundation, like a castle of sand, was destined to crumble in the end. Yes. Betrayal that would eventually be discovered. Lies that would eventually be revealed. Everything was predetermined from the start. "...Sis...ter?" "......." "Ellie, are you there?" Through the rustling thicket, a child's small, fern-like hand parts the thick foliage. Is this something my anxiety conjured up? But for a dream, for an illusion, each sound, each breath was too much like the child I knew. I had no choice but to acknowledge it. This was the most miserable reality of all. "Are you... really there, sister?" "......." Her fair skin was marred, perhaps scratched by the harsh grass, with raised, reddened marks where the poison festered. Enduring the pain and sting, the child took one step, then another, towards me. Under the moonlight. Her eyes shimmered beautifully, receiving the subtle glow as though jewels were embedded within them, overlooked by me until now. The sins I had built, filled with deceit and betrayal. They were unraveled before me. As I gazed at her, I bit back the question that threatened to spill from my lips. — Why are you here, Alice. The cruel answer to that question. It was walking towards me. --- Having spotted the child, I crouched within the shadow, hidden by a tree, hoping my body wouldn't be revealed under the moonlight. My pounding heart, my breath grew ragged. I covered my mouth and held my breath, fearful the child might hear it. A desperate struggle, unbecoming of even a child. Please, don't let her find me. Let her pass by, just like this. But that clumsy attempt proved futile. The child's eyes found me among the shadows, and she halted in her steps. Discovered. The thought consumed my mind. "........" ".......—Ah." Silence ensued for a moment. In that moment, I prayed to a god I didn't believe in, wishing it would last forever. But gods are not generous enough to grant miracles to non-believers. Slowly, the child's mouth opened. "Sister, I finally, found you...." "......." "I woke up and... you weren’t there, it... it was scary...!" The worst situation, the worst timing, the worst place. Though the child fumbled with her words, none of it reached my ears. No. Don't look. I surveyed my surroundings. Like red paint splattered all around, the forest that should've been green, blue, and a touch of black had forgotten its original colors. Could this be called color? This was life, this was passion, this was love and violence. Blood. Trees soaked in scarlet, stained red by the splatters. Deferred again and again, every consequence built returned to its original master. An undeniable, unavoidable truth. "......." I lowered my head. When I opened my hands, I saw them stained red, with unidentifiable greasy remnants wedged between my fingers. The sweet taste of flesh lingered in my mouth. Bang, I struck my head against the dirt ground. Again and again. In the distance, the child's bewildered voice reached my ears. Despite it, I couldn't stop. Yes. In the end, I was found out. Everything was shown. What I am. What I have done. It was all witnessed. "...—Alice." "Wh... what...?" "Alice... Alice... Alice...!" Rising emotions, they transformed into the child's name as they escaped my lips. With a jolt, I lifted my head. From afar, I saw the child, flustered by my actions, trying to run towards me however she could. As the child's approaching eyes were engulfed more and more by unease, her face started to harden bit by bit, sensitive to the unusual atmosphere surrounding me. It seemed to foreshadow the impending future. It was dispiriting. Unbearably frustrating and sorrowful. I didn’t choose to be born a monster, one who couldn't live without feeding on flowing blood and flesh. I only relished that one moment of warmth, wanting to savor that peace a bit longer. Then why, why do you look at me as if I had done something wrong? "Ah.... Ahhh...." I intended to speak. But not until today had passed, not until this month had passed, not until the season had gone, until I could gather my resolve! Then. I too, intended to speak. I had no thoughts of hiding it forever. I wanted to apologize, saying it wasn't my intention, that I was sorry. But the words I spoke were cold, hot, sober, and agitated, wholly different from my true desire. An outburst. A sharp dagger directed at the child. "....Why!!" "—Eek!?" "—Why did you do it!? Why!! Did you want to see me that much? Is that it!!!" I found myself questioning the child over her wrongdoing. Why did you come looking for me? I told you to stay inside. Your wounds might worsen, so I told you not to undo the bandages. Bloodshot eyes, a blood-soaked face. I walked towards the child who was staring at me in disbelief. Snap, a twig broke beneath my feet. Yes, I knew. That it wasn't my place to speak, having trapped the child in darkness, clutching her ankles so she couldn't go anywhere, locking the doors behind. That it wasn't my place, having taken away the wandering child's family, her past, even trampling on her very name. I knew, overwhelmingly. But. But right now. I felt like I was crumbling if I didn’t think that way. "...Sister..?" "Yes, it's Saeli. I’m your sister!!" As the child, previously lost in her surroundings, turned to see me approach, shock overtook her expression. Emerging from the darkness that had hidden my form and stepping into the moonlight, Alice, upon seeing me clearly, seemed to lose all strength in her legs and collapsed to the ground. With long strides, I reached her in no time. As the child tried to crawl away, I firmly grasped her hand and pulled her back towards me. "Where do you think you're going?" "....Ah...E-Ellie..." "I asked you, where do you think you're going?" The embrace of the child, usually so warm, now felt unbearably cold. The sticky substance on my hands adhered to her arm. I applied more pressure. —Squeeze. "Eek..! Hiya—!?" "What's wrong, Alice? I told you I'm your sister, Saeli!!" Perhaps out of fear, Alice's teeth began to chatter violently. Her limbs went limp as she sat there, dazed, staring up at me. Seeing her like this, my chest ignited with adrenaline. I forcibly turned her head, making her face me when she tried to avert her gaze. I saw the fear etched on her face, and it made the blood within me boil. Don't turn away. Look at me. As I clenched my jaw, my sharp teeth tore at my lips, causing blood to trickle down my chin. Alice. Why are you looking at me like that? It's me, isn't it? Saeli—the one you always called Ellie, the sister you said you adored. You said you loved me no matter what. In those thoughts, I gently traced around Alice's fully revealed turquoise eyes. Slide, slide, the blood still wet smeared over her beautiful skin. Why are you so scared? ...... Come on? Tell me. ..... Every time my small fingertip touched her, she flinched. Alice did not respond to the quiet question I uttered. Pressing my sharp nailed fingers against her eyelid, I asked again. Her eyes quivered, unable to focus on anything. "You removed the bandages, didn't you?" "I... a...ah... I'm s-sorry... sister..." At that, the child I forcibly held trembled violently, terrified. Looking at her, I continued to caress her. Moving my hands bit by bit, I soaked my fingers with my own blood seeping from my lips onto her clean silver hair, her red lips, her flawless neck, leaving traces. Alice was a perceptive child. She probably understood everything about the current situation. —That I was not, at the very least, an ordinary human. It must be frightening, terrifying. A child of barely ten, writhing to escape from my grip, her small cries emerging from her half-opened lips. Yet, struggling to follow my gaze, trying not to avert her eyes from mine, it was endearing in a way. In those clear eyes, a monster covered in blood, ready for the next hunt, was reflected. As I shone my red eyes, staring intently at the next prey. The grip on her tightened even more. To not let go. —Squeeze tight! "Hiyahhh—!? It hurts! It... hurts!!" "I told you not to, over and over, not to remove the bandages." —A piercing scream echoed through the forest. Desperately, Alice tried to pull her wrist out of my tightening grip. But her strength was insufficient, and after a few moments of struggle, it ceased. Gasping for breath, she tried to slump but I lifted her. As the child, slipping from my grasp, was pulled back into my arms. With weak movements, she patted my chest. She looked at me with pleading eyes. A tear that escaped her control fell onto my hand. Drop. Her frail form begged for my forgiveness, claiming she’d never do it again, causing my heart to drown further into a swampy abyss. What did you do so wrong? Is escaping from me that imperative? Is being free from a terrifying monster what you desire? Are you finally going to abandon me? Truly, "You’re such a bad child." "...I... I'm sorry... sister... I won’t do it again... please—" "Really, a bad child you are." A myriad of indescribable emotions swirled within me. Like a kaleidoscope of paint blending into one, it condensed in a single spot. This is sadness. This is rage. This is resentment. If my current emotions were to be given a color—it would be a dirty, filthy, murky ink color that eventually has to be discarded. Yes. This is the color of a small betrayal. Perhaps from the beginning, we were never meant to meet. "Doesn't the bad child deserve punishment?" "...P-please... sister... I'm sorry... I don't want to...." Within her eyes, I saw the monster open its mouth wide. Not backing down, I opened my mouth even wider. As I did, I could no longer see the child's form. With a scream, I closed my mouth. Crunch. My mouth was filled with something. ** ---