Chapter 31 - The Girl Wants to Be M*rdered

**Chapter 31: Sandcastle** Sandcastles easily crumble away at the touch of passing water and wind. No matter what stories are embedded within them, who crafted them, or the care bestowed upon them, once made of sand, they will inevitably collapse. They don't last a few days before even their traces disappear, becoming part of the shoreline, known to none. There lies a small beach, a place made up of countless ruins of sandcastles carefully built by anonymous hands. Don't worry too much about your castle collapsing. "—You can always build it again." Whenever you wish, you can rebuild it. It allows you to shape the memories of that day with your own hands. That's exactly what a sandcastle is. So, sister. You don't need to wear such a deathly expression, do you? ** The reckless fun of the night passed without a hitch. As is the essence of mischief, some cried and some laughed. It can serve as an opportunity to showcase camaraderie and strengthen bonds, hence it's called a prank. Indeed. A prank easily forgotten. —Chirp chirp. "...Ugh..." Was it due to last night's brief escapade? Typically an early riser, I woke to the sound of birds singing and informing me that the sun was already high in the sky. And then, I saw it. "Oh." This is your sunlight. What's going on? Oh, save me. Ah, my eyes. The sunlight I hadn't seen in half a year was so intense I couldn't bear to open my eyes. The piercing sunlight entering directly through unfocused pupils, and the overwhelming signals being processed by my brain was a pain in itself. To be subjected to such torment. I will remember this grudge! I shut my eyes tight and covered them with my hands, trying desperately to shield my vision. My body twisted this way and that, causing nearby objects to fall to the floor. Crash, crash. The easily breakable items fell with ease, scattering sharp shards everywhere. Jagged fragments flew towards me, leaving small cuts behind. Though my eyes were covered and I couldn't see, the floor must have been a total mess. Amidst this chaos, my left wrist and the nearby wall came into contact. Thunk. A small collision. If only the impact was as small as the sound. Unfortunately, the two seemed to be inversely related. "...!!!" The pain was so overwhelming I couldn't even scream. It was cold, hot, aching, itchy, and stinging. From where my limb was severed, unimaginable pain steadily emerged. These sensations spread through my entire hand, gifting me with the feeling of each severed point experiencing this agony. A left hand that should no longer exist, a left hand I saw reduced to pulp and devoured, seemed to still exist, as if under torturous duress by someone else. Tingling, tingling. It felt as if senses beyond what my brain could handle were pleading incessantly. Despite my dulled capacity to feel pain, making the world seem somewhat detached, one pain pierced through without a filter. That was the phantom pain I was feeling now. "Ah... Ah, it hurts... Sis..." Thanks to numerous past experiences, I quickly grew accustomed to the pain, but I couldn't help but sigh at the thought of the trials awaiting me. Sigh. I simply let out a pained whimper while experiencing the strange sensation of touching my now-empty wrist. This continued until Ellie, who had detected the commotion in my room, rushed in hurriedly. ** Slam. The door swung open so suddenly it stirred the air in the quiet room. "—Alice!!" "Ah... Sis..." Ellie approached swiftly, assessing the situation, and concern etched in her voice, walking confidently toward me without hesitation. What’s this, sis? You stayed by my side. You didn't run away, huh? That realization filled me with joy. Ellie, who had always been busy avoiding and denying, was now facing the results of her actions head-on instead of fleeing. If she had been the Ellie I met at the beginning, or the Ellie who deceived me with secrets, she wouldn't have done this. When she greedily devoured my hand, she might have instead devoured all of me without pause—leaving no trace, or abandoned me in this remote house and fled far away to escape the remorse weighing heavily on her heart. And then, claiming it as atonement, perhaps she would have secretly watched over me until the day I died of old age? Even if I sought her out, never revealing herself. Caring not for the subject's feelings. Merely wishing to alleviate her own guilt through penance. Naturally, I could never tolerate such an act. That would be deception. Well, if it came to that, I had planned to stage a dramatic suicide attempt in the yard just to draw her back to me. —It seems Ellie grew more than I imagined. To stand before me so openly, truly a courageous act. Reflection. To review one's mistakes and actions, feeling ashamed yet firmly resolved never to repeat them. Yes. We must look to the future, not the past. People live by looking forward, and that is precisely what becomes the genuine driving force for humanity's growth. I was exceedingly proud of Ellie for realizing this. Ignoring the shards of glass scattered across the floor, she trampled them to dust and came to the bed where I was. Trembling, eyes shut tight, I reached out my hand to grasp hers. With my open right hand and left arm ending at the forearm, I pulled her towards me, embracing her. Just to ensure she can't abandon and run away from me. Like a child pulling tightly on the hem of a working parent's clothes. I held the offered hand tightly against my chest. With a voice mixed with tears, I spoke to Ellie. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry... Sister... Please don't leave me... I did wrong..." "....." "Huh? I won't go out at night... I'll close my eyes tight!! So, sister—" "—Alice." Her voice, filled with determination, was strong. An overwhelming sensation as if something monumental was about to happen loomed in the air. With that single word, it felt like all my actions had been acknowledged. My efforts weren't in vain. This moment was when I truly felt alive. She pulled me into her arms, enveloping me in her embrace. It was even warmer than usual, so hot as if her embrace would melt me away. In my ear, Ellie's passionate words, even more fervent, reached me. "I'm sorry." "...What...?" This was a confession. Through the vibrations emanating from her chest rather than the air, each word from Ellie seemed to speak directly to my mind. It was a confession pulsing at my heart, my mind, at everything. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for deceiving, for using you, for holding you back, for trapping you." "...Ellie… sister..?" "Everything is my fault. I was wrong. So now, I will no longer run away. I will not look away." A declaration imbued with a firm resolve. "So please... I beg you...." "....Oh." Her delicate fingers gently brushed over my eyes. Despite my firm will, under her soft touch, my eyelids naturally fluttered open just like they always had. My vision was flooded with blinding white light. Amidst that bright backdrop, the presence of her dark hair asserted itself in my view. Eyes like a beast's, sharp and tinged with crimson, gazed down upon me. Drip, drip. Tears began to fall from there, wetting my face. Whether she hadn't slept or bathed, Ellie's eyes were bloodshot and mysterious substances were smeared across her hair and face. A truly shabby sight. One could even call it filthy. Yet at this moment, standing before me, Ellie appeared the most beautiful. Beautiful. I wanted her. Perhaps, for just a fleeting moment, in this life, I truly fell in love. She shone that brightly. Bright enough to spark envy. "Please... accept my apology..." "…Sister..." Revealing things hidden from everyone is an immensely painful act. Facing one's wrongs and acknowledging them is truly a daunting task. Yet through these challenges, we can achieve great transformation. Just like Ellie is doing now. Relationships you’ve built might crumble. Even long-held friendships could be swept away overnight. But if we are concerned with such matters, we are bound to live in stagnation. Unable to meet anyone new, unable to share new stories, inevitably leading a life of isolation. "Alice... I'm truly... sorry." ".......Hehe." So. Therefore, we must continue to build our own sandcastles. Even if they're washed away by the waves. "—Ellie, my sister." ".....Yes." Though it was regrettable that the number of hands able to touch her had decreased. I could smile, knowing she had entrusted me with everything. Our relationship was beginning anew, from this moment on. "—I love you." ** Envy wears a green eye. *** I'll return with the conclusion of Episode 2 in the next chapter. * * *