Chapter 57 - The Girl Wants to Be M*rdered

**Chapter 57: Blinded by Jealousy** --- Ah, we ended up meeting after all. I didn’t want to meet. I truly didn’t want to meet. The reason I chose death from all the countless options. "To stand beside them and yearn for happiness is something not allowed to me." --- A person's life is held within their hands. Understanding what they usually do, their bad habits, and their general hygiene. By looking at their hands, you can know everything about them. When I look at someone, I always look at their hands first. How ironic it is that, for people living amidst lies and truth, there exists the most honest form of expression in the world. The more you act, the more your tendons and bones become prominent. Blood and nerves twist and then find their way back to their proper flow. Skin and flesh continuously peel and caress each other, gradually hardening over time. Much like how tree rings expand over the years, life builds layer by layer within the palms of the hands. They contain sacrifice and hardship, like a work of art. Thus, I can confidently declare without a hint of hesitation. For all the life I have walked through until now, and for the eternal life I shall walk henceforth. You have lived with great effort. "...Mmm...hm..." "...It’s warm." It felt as if my body would melt away. The palm of my older sister's hand, which I touched after so long, was truly warm and firm. Not the soft and tender hand we held when we were children, but a calloused hand, rough with countless hard patches from grasping something with strength. The touch of the large and uneven callouses was not something I could call pleasant. Yet, when considering the fruits of her efforts contained within, how could it not be joyous? I earnestly kneaded my sister's beautiful hand, the one more beautiful than anything, using my small and delicate hand. Although this action that lasted a mere moment couldn’t repay her actions. May it be a small comfort to this princess of tragedy who sleeps surrounded by flowers. May the path before my sister, resting briefly atop my lap, be bright. And in that future, may I, a mere burden, not exist. I fervently prayed. "....Ugh...ugh..." "It seems like you’re very tired, sister." With my feet poised together, leaning back against a tree, I sat. Leaning against the rough bark of the tree wasn't easy for a normal child, but my unfeeling body accomplished it effortlessly. Of course, if marks lingered severely on my back, it was obvious Sia or Ellie, who were sensitive to injuries, would notice and reprimand me. My sister, Remi, with her head resting on my thigh, was groaning with a furrowed brow, as if lost in some dream. Sometimes trembling, her limbs and breaking into a cold sweat. Remi, who had not seemed well since I first found her, was gasping for breath after collapsing at the greenhouse entrance. The moment I saw her familiar face, which I did not expect to be here, I almost thought for a second I was seeing a ghost. My sister really was talented at startling people. Of course, realizing Remi’s poor condition, I tirelessly worked with one hand to drag her in and make her comfortable in the current position to rest. It seemed like a simple case of fainting due to fatigue and stress, so she should wake up in a few minutes. Well, until then, I’ll just enjoy this wonderful time. The mischievous play between a long-separated set of sisters, after all. —Poke, poke. "Hel-lo-oo~♬, is there anyone the-re~♬" "......Mm.....mm...." As I lightly poked and pulled my finger away, her cheek bounced back like mochi. Touching family skin for the first time in a while felt captivatingly sweet and addictive, like melting away. At times tickling, sometimes pulling, and occasionally poking her. My sister’s appearance, which naturally instigated playfulness, awakened a small mischief inside me. Increasingly furrowing brows and the shortening intervals between the sounds. Remi, who had been painfully grimacing earlier while drenched in sweat, now wore a much happier, entertaining expression. "........." "........." I watched her face with a soft sense of nostalgia. Behind these closed eyelids surely lay the beautiful eyes I often described as twinkling like stars. When she'd cling to me and sleep in the same bed, she often acted spoiled, asking for her ears to be rubbed — I wonder if she still does that these days. Was it here where she lost her tooth tripping down the stairs and hitting a rock? "Really—" I hadn't expected to meet again. Sia's actions toward me had been especially strange and suspicious. Of course, Sia tried not to let it show, but her peculiar habit of hurried speech and her curling upward tone at the end when calling my name was something she couldn’t easily change. As soon as Sia found me, she seemed panicked as if chased by something, hastily dragging me, who had been staring at a streetlamp, back to her dormitory. Then she piled up all sorts of bizarre explanations, claiming there were numerous dangerous areas due to construction and monsters waiting to kidnap me. Frankly, I wasn’t sure if I should respond to such obvious lies, but I agreed for the time being. Of course, I sneaked out while Sia went to class. What could've compelled her to act this out of character, and to think Remi was here all along. Fate truly is unpredictable. Sluurp—! Sluurp—! "Heehee~♬" "Auh..." Of course, considering it from Sia's perspective, it was understandable that she didn’t want Remi and me to meet. They couldn't possibly predict what sort of chemical reaction might occur between the two of us. There's no way they wouldn't know; in fact, they probably understand better than anyone else. Sia and Ellie are both so conservative and worrisome that they hide my past so tightly from me, the person directly involved. Perhaps they just don't want to leave even a small problem behind. That Sia would go to such lengths—lying to me, which must have required a tremendous resolution on her part—really needs no further explanation. Even so, if there's one small complaint I have about Sia... Her excessive paranoia, seeing everything around as potential threats, seems like something she should overcome by now. —Squeeze. "This sister is quite the sleepyhead." "............" "Really, such a sleepyhead." Remi’s trembling hands, holding onto mine without letting go. My only hand was already caught in her firm grip, refusing to come loose. The once-delicate skin had turned red, with small traces of blood seeping out, and the fingertips had turned white, tinged with a slight purple hue. I thought my hand might truly be crushed, but seeing Remi clutching my hand desperately as if returning to our childhood, I stopped resisting and gently smiled down at her face. What could she be so afraid of? What could be frightening her so much? What meaning lies within the tears flowing from her eyes? As if my hand was the only lifeline that could save her, Remi gripped it firmly, not letting go. Despite being of the age to be considered an adult, seeing her act so childishly was rather endearing, and I couldn't help but let out a small laugh. The sun was slowly setting. The once-blooming flowers, having fulfilled their purpose, began to retire for the night. This infinite moment of connection through our held hands, bonding our hearts as one, was also nearing its end. Soon enough, it would be time for Sia to start searching for me everywhere. Sleep. God sent sleep alongside hardships to humanity, making all things, whether good or evil, lose their meaning and become objects of oblivion in the face of sleep. Yet, in the end, sleep is but sleep. Sleep exists only to prepare for the new dawn awaiting tomorrow. "—It’s time to wake up now." A princess ensnared in a curse, lost in a nightmare. There is only one way to wake her. While I wasn’t the dashing prince from the tales, the sole means available—my hand—couldn't be moved, leaving no other choice. An older sister who can't wake up unless her younger sibling does it, even after becoming an adult. Really, an older sister who required a lot of attention. So please, sister, now... "—Will you wake up for me?" I slowly bent my head down. The flower folded its petals, hiding its face. The sun, who had watched over everything from the sky, embarrassed, turned its hue to red and disappeared beyond the tall mountains. What happened there, no one would know. Except for one person. "Oh, you’re awake, sister!" ".......Ah...Alice?" ** "Al...Aliceㅡ!!?" The misunderstanding would soon be cleared. **