Chapter 65 - The Girl Wants to Be M*rdered

〈 Chapter 65 〉 Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe. * * * "—Lately, Alice has been acting strange." The person who broached this topic, sitting across from me with a serious expression while sipping coffee, was Remi Akaia. Claiming it was a recent trendy drink, she was forcing herself to consume the dark coffee filled with floating ice cubes. I couldn’t help but wonder if she realized how oddly contorted her face looked. Unbearable to watch, I finally added a spoonful of honey and a generous amount of milk for her, and only then did the wrinkle between her brows start to slowly disappear. Witnessing this familiar scene, a sight I had often seen before in past lives and at times involved myself, stirred indescribably mixed emotions within me. Yet, Remi, the person in question, sat still clueless, her expression filled with discontent as she gazed at me. But back to Alice being strange. Indeed, Alice's recent behavior struck me as unusual as well. Normally, Alice would look at me with her eyes sparkling the moment she heard my voice. Lately, however, even when I approached her side and spoke, her responses would be delayed or at times nonexistent. To the extent that she spent the entire day staring blankly out her dormitory window, forgoing visits to the garden she so loved. As if she were under some kind of spell. Seeing her so tense and pressured was exhausting even for me to watch. Alice, who normally kept her struggles hidden from others, projected this even more intensely, making it all the more concerning. "Recently, even when I talk to her, she replies slowly! Alice, who used to always smile and respond so sweetly!! Huh? And she's been staring out the window all day in her dorm room instead of visiting the flowers she loved! This is such a big deal!" "....Wow, that's eerie." How could it be so spot-on? Was there some kind of magical mind-reading ability in this world? Remi Akaia perfectly articulated what I had been feeling while observing Alice over the past few days without changing a word, causing goosebumps to rise on my arms. Hey, you over there, the guard walking by, there's a stalker here stalking a child. The chill bumps on my skin were testament to the fact that my feelings were not exaggerated. "....Oh, gosh! Is this the time to joke around!? Alice is, right now, feeling depressed!!" "Uhhh!? I-I mean, that's... true—but!!" "Then what is it!? Do you know something!?" Spill it, say it all now!! I can’t talk if you don’t let gooo— Jingle jingle, her hands gripped my collar and shook me side to side like a sheet of paper. Despite my repeated taps on her wrist, signaling a tap out for surrender, my desperate attempt did not reach her excited state. For a few minutes, bizarre shouts echoed inside the coffee shop, or so I've heard. Caw, caw. ** With a cause comes an effect. It can also be understood that everything has its cause, often expressed as "nothing comes from nothing (ex nihilo nihil fit）." So. Alice's sudden change surely had a reason, and there was no way there wouldn't be. After a long contemplation, pondering what could be making Alice feel so down, my conclusion was— "—Homesickness?" "...Something like that." Nostalgia, a missing of home from a foreign land. I concluded that homesickness, considered a branch of depression by some, was the condition currently troubling Alice. Her actions, while slightly varied, were strikingly similar to ones I had undertaken before. Yearning for a home one cannot return to, visualized solely in the mind. Having once gazed endlessly through a window reflecting only foreign landscapes, I could empathize with Alice’s behavior. If that combined with Alice's situation, it essentially seemed reasonable. "There haven't been any other significant incidents worth mentioning, have there?" ".....Is that so?" "The only things that have happened are the silly antics you and I did in front of Alice.... Besides that, it all boiled down to that fight between you and me, didn’t it? I doubt it’s that." One seemingly significant event could have been the blood-splattered argument between Remi and me, but that had been some time ago. Although Alice had been panicked at the time, she naturally forgave Remi Akaia, who had injured her arm, and grew close to her even without taking too long. Worried if she would forever be resented, Remi Akaia had spent sleepless nights only to be rescued by the angelic sister who approached her first, saying everything was okay. Thus. The fight that day ended anticlimactically and was considered a settled matter in everyone’s mind. If anything happened immediately after that, it might have been different, but it seemed unlikely now, close to a month later, that something so old would suddenly trouble Alice. I could assure it wasn’t that. The truth should always be sought from simplicity. Never find it in chaos and diversity. Look objectively. Think logically. There is a cause. However, the distress troubling Alice now—it seemed hard to attribute to any specific event within the 'Arcard Empire.' Thus, Alice’s gloom wasn't due to something that happened 'here.' When Alice first arrived in the empire, her behavior wasn’t significantly different from what I was familiar with, indicating it wasn’t due to past incidents either. What remained was simply the fact that Alice had come to 'this place'… Therefore, the trouble currently plaguing Alice was due to her coming here, being separated from 'her.' Among the dozens of hypothesized causes, the only one left after discarding the impossible was that one. "........You." "......Yes?" Even after I shared my perspective, the skepticism lingering on Remi Akaia's face refused to disappear. Her expression grew increasingly dubious and skeptical, making it clear to me that instead of focusing on Alice, Remi was directing her scrutiny at me. Oh no. I must have been too lost in thought. I had made a mistake. "Come to think of it, you never told me in detail about Alice’s past." "......." "You always evaded deep questions, covering it up with a patchy backstory." Indeed, I had told Remi Akaia about some parts of my and Alice's past, but it was merely a fraction of the whole story. At most, I had shared a summary of the unfortunate incident in Saria Village, which was the catalyst for Alice and me meeting, and how we lived together briefly before our mercenary days while Alice learned basic swordsmanship. In other words, what this means is— All talk about 'her,' who is surely striving hard somewhere, was entirely omitted or glossed over. Remi Akaia's perplexity and the oddities she perceived likely stemmed from this missing context. How Alice, severely injured and on the brink of death, was saved after falling into a freezing winter river and how she recovered. What the six-month void entailed when Alice went missing before meeting and living with me. How we managed to escape the desperate crisis in Saria Village. A bright person like her would have quickly spotted the inconsistencies and mysteries in my story from the outset. Of course, she might have had some inkling all along but refrained from questioning me due to the joy of reuniting with Alice. Now, the forgotten bomb resurfaced at this moment. Yes. The kind of thing one scarcely dares to speak of. The reason I hadn’t discussed it wasn’t solely because I disliked gossiping behind someone’s back without their consent. A bigger reason lay elsewhere. The person—or rather, the entity—that saved Alice was, by this world’s standards, classified as a monster. The one who attacked Alice and devoured her arm was none other than 'her,' yet Alice considered her more genuinely a 'family' than anyone else. That was the brutal truth that I was supposed to casually reveal before Remi Akaia. So. I shook my head. "...I can't tell you." "...You...!?" I couldn’t bring myself to tell a benevolent lie. It wasn’t something I was capable of. I was thoroughly tired of deceiving others, and I couldn’t betray the trust of discussing someone’s life-depends-on-it secret with someone who was practically a stranger. Caw, caw. Even if I were to paint the woeful crow overhead white and gift it, who would willingly accept a crow merely pretending to be white? The paint drips, revealing the black beneath. Lies are wretched sins that plunge both the speaker and the listener into unhappiness. In the end, all I could do was keep my lips sealed tight and present the outcome without divulging the process or reasons. Though I couldn’t disclose everything, Alice was yearning, painfully so, for someone or something not here. The person who was compelled to leave Alice in my care was none other than the one who saved her, someone whom Alice regarded more affectionately than her biological parents. When the time is right, if she wills it, you'll come to know the truth, too. A wait requiring a little patience. That I asked for— "Caw, caw!" "...What?" A... crow? A slightly hoarse crow’s cry echoed from the rooftop of the building where we were seated. The ominous caw of a crow, ringing high three or four times, was ignored by passersby and Remi Akaia in front of me, who paid no heed. Ignoring it would have been preferable for me, but at that moment, I simply couldn’t. And with good reason, as crows brought unpleasant memories. It was also the symbol of 'her.' "—That sounds like an interesting conversation you're having." "...Oh no." Thud! Hoping against reality, I banged my head on the table. Please let this be a terrible nightmare. But the sharp pain in my forehead seemed to declare, 'With this, the master is dead, my time has come!' If I die, you're next, you punk. "..Heh... haha..." I forced my creaking neck to turn and greeted the newly arrived participant with as bright a smile as possible. "I have a lot of stories I'd like to hear too. Like why you're there with her." ".....Who are you? Do you know me?" "I know you. Better than you know yourself." Speak of the devil, and she shall appear. Nevertheless, I hadn't expected someone more frightening than a tiger to show up. Had I known, I would have kept quiet. Truly, I wouldn’t have said a word. Not really... "Ain’t that right, 'Parasite'?" "...Ah, I really miss Alice." They say people naturally fear animals that are black in color. To me, there was an animal more terrifying than anything else I knew. Her—Saeli—had appeared in the empire's capital. ** * * *