Chapter 181 - The Outcast Writer of a Martial Arts Visual Novel

Chapter 181 - Poison - 2 Hwarin. How do I think of you? For me, this atmosphere, this situation, these words are all too familiar. "Um? What do I think of Yoonho? We're good friends. Close peers. A funny older brother, haha." When one gathers the courage to ask, you deflect with an awkward laugh, leaving a bitter atmosphere behind. From the next day, you start responding slower on messenger. Gradually, the communication dwindles. Meetings begin to be avoided. When you accidentally meet eyes on the street, you pretend not to see and swiftly dodge away. Even those who are not perceptive realize by then. "I've been rejected." Hwarin. You may not fully grasp what your question implies, but I know all too well. Sure, in your mind, you might be testing the waters of my heart or hoping for a confession. But as someone with experience, I can tell you. "Hwarin. What you did was essentially a confession." Like a car in a racing game with RPMs revving high, just waiting for the signal of 3, 2, 1, to start—a confession waiting to race straight ahead as soon as I give the OK. "Hwarin likes me." You see, although it may not seem like it, I've got depth too. If you spend a long time with me like Hwarin has, you’d discover my charms. Now that I know Hwarin's feelings, my shoulders pump up with excitement without me even realizing. How should I respond here? "The worst answer would be saying 'I think of Hwarin as a precious friend.'" It's an absolute no-go. The moment I say that, I could be hit by Hwarin's poison. Even if not, we'd both leave with a bitter taste. "Both of us are such novices." Just at the moment when a kiss seems possible, there are guys who hastily suggest a kiss, and girls who make confessions hoping to receive one. Such absolute novices. "The problem started when I suddenly suggested a kiss." In this world, a kiss is not a light matter between men and women, even if they are lovers. In the modern age, a kiss might be just one step in a relationship, but here it signifies something much deeper. A woman's consent to a kiss means, in effect, "I will marry this person. I consider this man my fiancé." That's the deep meaning embedded in it. When I suggested a kiss to Hwarin, even if she did love me romantically, of course she would want to hear a confession. -------- "Before I answer Hwarin, there's a question I must ask myself." Is Hwarin the true heroine? If Hwarin is the true heroine, on what criteria should she be pursued? Does it mean seeing Hwarin completely cured? Or does it mean watching her own unique story unfold? Or could it mean standing with her against the destiny that will eventually arrive? "What if Hwarin is not the true heroine?" If Hwarin is not the true heroine, how should I treat her? Now that I am aware of Hwarin's affection, should I tell her since she's not the true heroine, we should be best friends? Friends! "That can't be it." The Chosen One and the Heroine. If this world has bestowed upon me the fate and role of the Chosen One, it means I might continue to meet heroines in addition to the ones I've met so far. Among those women, some may offer their excessive love to me. Am I to ignore them and mechanically seek out the true heroine, only to leave this world when I'm done? "That's laughable." Someday I might see the end of this world. I may get the chance to leave this world, but that doesn't give me a right to ignore those in need of help or refuse the love directed at me. It doesn't give me a reason to ignore Hwarin's love. Now that I know Hwarin's heart, What do I think of Hwarin? Am I ready to accept her feelings? ------------------ "Hwarin." I called her tenderly, as she sat with her head bowed, endlessly waiting for my response. "Yes?" Startled by my call, Hwarin looked up at me with an anxious expression. What could she be so afraid of? While her body is sensual as any creature, her actions are pitiable like a small puppy soaked in rain. "I haven't said it, but it's been really tough." I sat close next to Hwarin and glanced at her sideways. "Because of me?" Her voice was tinged with worry as she asked me. Why would she think that? I shook my head definitively to signify that it was not the case, then continued. "No. It was tough until I met Hwarin. And thanks to you, my life has improved." "Thanks to me?" As I spoke words that seemed to appreciate her, a slight color returned to Hwarin's anxious voice. "Thanks to you I became a bookstore manager. I could write and even became famous. It's all thanks to you, Hwarin. I'm thankful beyond words." Let's start with gratitude. I came to this world, and it's thanks to Hwarin that I have hope for the future and the drive to move forward. I spoke to Hwarin with sincere gratitude. "If you're trying to say thanks out of pity or sympathy..." I saw Hwarin's sharp gaze beginning to rise and quickly shook my head to deny it, picking up my words. "Hwarin. I've even risked my life to save you." "So what. You're trying to sidestep again..." When did I ever? It felt slightly unjust, but with an unaffected expression, I placed my finger over Hwarin's soft lips to silence her. "Silly. Don't you understand yet?" I turned slightly to face Hwarin directly. We were close, close enough to feel her breath, just a head tilt away from our lips touching. "What, what is it?" Hwarin's eyes wavered. Was she afraid of the words I was about to say? Pictures of moments spent with Hwarin flashed through my mind like a panorama. Is Hwarin truly the heroine? No, is being the true heroine even that important? Did I risk my life for Hwarin just because she might be a potential true heroine someday, because we're friends? Risking my life for a mere possibility? If that’s what I affirm, it is nothing but self-deception. As the Chosen One, my sincerity has the power to deviate a heroine from her tragic fate, but what good is denying what I truly feel? What do I truly think of Hwarin? I've already given my answer. "I came to protect my woman." "My woman? Do you have such a relationship with the poisoned child?" "Is there any other reason a man would risk his life for a woman?" I opened my mouth to convey my true feelings to Hwarin. "Hwarin. When a man risks everything for a woman, it's only because he thinks of her as his woman." ********* "You…! Mmph!" In the moment when Hwarin's expression was vulnerable to emotion, Kang Yoonho's face closed in on hers. Though caught off-guard by the sudden move and her lips tensed, Hwarin didn’t think to turn her head away. The lips of the two met instantly, and due to Hwarin's stiffened lips, it was less like a kiss and more like flesh pressing against flesh, but that alone was enough to make Hwarin's eyes open wide in surprise. "Wha, what are you doing all of a sudden!" Hwarin, startled, tilted her head back and confronted Kang Yoonho. "Then this time, I won't do it so abruptly. Come here." With a tender expression, Kang Yoonho pulled Hwarin towards him with one hand. What's with the sudden mature act? It's so frustrating. You're the one who confessed, and I accepted – shouldn't you be acting more overwhelmed? Though slightly vexed by the thought, Hwarin had no intention of rejecting the touch of Kang Yoonho. Instead, she yearned for the next meeting of their lips, resentful that their first kiss had ended too quickly. "Mmm…" Hwarin pursed and pushed her lips out as much as she could, like a baby bird craving love it had never experienced. Kang Yoonho found this endearing and, with love and sincerity, sought to quench her longing. As Kang Yoonho tenderly pressed her tense lips, the stiffness eased away naturally. For the first time, Hwarin felt her own man, a sensation she had never experienced before. She had succeeded. She was happy. She was loved. While Hwarin was still in a daze, Yoonho increased his earnestness in knocking on the door of her affections. "What are you putting in there!" Startled by the intrusion, Hwarin pushed against Yoonho and pulled back her head with a reddened face, breaking their contact. "Do you dislike it?" "I'll try it once more and let you know…" -------- The two were so engrossed that they didn't realize time passing until the retainer of the Yi household almost came to inform them that too much time had elapsed. In fact, had the Yi family retainer been slightly later, they might have proceeded to the bridal chamber right then and there. "Ahem." At last, the pink knot that was the lips of the two untied, drawing a disappointed but transparent bridge, as the Yi family retainer made an awkward clearing of his throat. "Hwarin." Kang Yoonho held Hwarin's hand tightly, as if questioning if any part of his sincerity had failed to reach her. There wasn’t much time left for them to talk. "Yoonho. I'll definitely come back." Holding Yoonho's hand in return, Hwarin nodded. They hadn't had much of a conversation, but it was okay. Something deeper than words was conveyed. She had understood Yoonho’s sincerity. "Next time, let's do it where no one else can see." "You ju-… Okay." Does my man not know shame? Why suggest that in front of the old retainer? Hwarin almost cursed instinctively but nodded with a blushing face, wanting that time to herself just as much. Kang Yoonho let out a small laugh at her reaction, hugged her one last time, then left the room. As Hwarin continued to gaze after her departing man, the people of the Tang family came in and led her to the prepared location. Would she come out successful? Walking away, Hwarin touched her lips, which still held warmth. Her mouth was still full of his presence. She wanted to be happy with Yoonho. Hwarin looked at the Envenomed Pillar placed in the prepared location. It was not an insurmountable wall. It was merely a step closer to Yoonho. "Prepare now." Yoonho. Wait for me. ******************* "Are you worried?" Where could Hwarin have gone? While I looked out beyond the window, the Yi family retainer asked. "Shouldn't you be going in?" "Even when she swallows and fully digests the poison. It needs a very long time. I thought to see your face a moment before going in." "Are you here to offer encouragement?" Having surpassed a critical moment, you seem transformed. Though I appreciate the consecutive acts of kindness, I can't help but feel awkward. "…It is said, 'True Man follows Heaven’s will.' You have done all that you can, and Hwarin, the child as well, everyone is expected to do their best; let’s hope Heaven smiles upon us." Despite the slightly sarcastic remark, the Yi family retainer encouraged me. I appreciate it, but I’m not worried. "Heaven will smile." I spoke to the Yi family retainer with confidence in my tone. "Is it confidence or wishful thinking?" "It's confidence." "Good… I also hope for the same." Seeing the confidence exuding from my face, the Yi family retainer seemed to think his encouragement was unnecessary, nodded once, and headed toward where Hwarin was. Yes. I am confident. Hwarin will become a complete Envenomed One. She will appear before me having become the complete Envenomed One. Because. "Hwarin's face has become completely clear of blemishes." My sincerity has been conveyed.