Chapter 88 - The Girl Wants to Be M*rdered

〈 Chapter 88 〉 Hope. (Final) * * * ** A story born from the collective wishes of many — a fairy tale. Yet, even within these dissimilar tales that appear to have no commonality, there exists one absolute rule: The child who embarks on an adventure will reunite with their loved ones by the journey's end. Whether it's the girl who followed a rabbit and stumbled into a strange land while napping in a serene meadow... Or the country girl swept away by an unexpected tornado into a magical realm... Or the dutiful girl crossing a wolf-patrolled forest to visit her ailing grandmother... These stories, grand at times and childish at others, always conclude with the courageous child, having vanquished the villains through wit and cunning, finding their bluebird and returning to their cherished ones. Even if a fairytale were to end with the girl being devoured by the wolf or trapped eternally in the magical realm, it wouldn't matter. Because. We've all seen clearly how, despite the perilous journey threatening to break their spirits, the children never lost their goodness. And because those who believe good children deserve rewards have continuously revised those sad narrative endings. Therefore. "Uh? Answer me, Sia..." "...I, I..." What I must say now. What I must do now. Isn't about forcing a transplant on flowers or doing as they wish. Nor is it about pacifying the crying child with tales of seeds and flowers. It should be an action so obvious that it goes without saying. "...I." I clenched my fists tight. My hands turned pale, with a trickle of blood seeping through, but I didn’t stop. If it could resolve this wretched tragedy before me, I’d do far more. "...I...!" In the past, I was the one who sat alone in the forest, quietly weeping. I'd lost all hope, living on with the passive surrender of myself to a world that tormented me. Yet to this wretched self, a small hand was extended. — Swoosh. "Here. It's a gift from me!" "........." A child who first approached me. Through her, I glimpsed hope. Even though ahead of me, once I lifted my gaze, lay sadness and challenges, not just the pleasant and exciting. Still, one thing is clear: "Hey, Hanh. You'll handle this extermination." "Uh!? Commander, you're not shirking responsibilities again, are you?" "...When a superior tells you to go, you go. Why so much talk?" I, who would never have thought it before— "Sia! Shall we go to the library? There’s a new book!" "...Tessa, you’re planning to make me carry the books again, aren’t you?" "...See, this is why I dislike perceptive people like you." Was finally granted the chance to build the happy future I dreamt of. "Sister, hehe! I made it in the greenhouse!" "Thanks, Alice! But... Are you sure it’s okay to pick flowers from there...?" "Oh." "Oh." A chance to build it step by step. And it’s not just for me. Saeli and Remi Akaia, and Anna Akaia. Tessa and Alice's parents, and the court awaiting her return. Countless individuals cherished happy moments thanks to one child. Yes. It is indeed a natural order. The belief that good children should be rewarded. The child, tearfully crying alone as my past self did in the flower-filled greenhouse, deserved happiness more than anyone else. Thus. "I'm choosing the path where you'll be happiest." "...What?" Because I've decided. Because I chose that path. At the forked road. A path that never required a choice. Among the paths diverging ahead, the one I chose–– "I'm rooting for your happiness." Was to warmly embrace the child before me. And to wish for the happiness of that good child. My legs felt light, and my determination overflowed. So I walked forward. "Alice." Alice stood before me. ** The fog obscuring my mind cleared like a refreshing gust after a storm. ─Tap. "If I have to choose between the two, I’ll pick the path where you, Alice, can be happy." "N-no... That’s not the answer I wanted, sister...!" One step. I boldly took a step towards the black boundary between us. Even as Alice, wary of my approaching form, slowly retreated, the gap between us narrowed as I gained momentum. The bright flower field and the dark one, and the clear black shadow lying between. What seemed an insurmountable mark a moment ago, now in front of me, was but a shadow without form or hold over me. For shadows, formless as they are, could not bind me. My steps were surer than they ever had been. Yes. This was my choice. "I want you to choose between the two," Alice began tentatively. "But I've already made my choice, Alice." To choose your happiness, I mean. ─Thud. "....Huh?!" Alice, seeing me continue to approach without any intention of stopping, stepped back as if witnessing something unbelievable. But I closed the distance even more as Alice retreated. For every step Alice took back, I took two forward. If she attempted to flee quickly, I dashed forward with all my might. Did she think she could escape someone like me, who insisted on stuffing money or snacks into pockets, even if refused, just to settle a debt born of gifts or sustenance received? I’ll not let go until I return not just the happiness I’ve received, but even more to you. Call me greedy if you must. That’s just the way I, Han Sia, live my life. "It doesn't matter whether the flowers are transplanted or left as they are. What you want is... well, I'm curious, but there's something even more important—" "No, don't say it, sister...!" "—It's your happiness, Alice." "I said, don't say it!!" A welcoming family for the returned girl. Warm food waiting for the travel-weary girl. The pets' antics welcoming their long-absent owner. Simple, yet the kind of happiness everyone, unanimously, would call true happiness. I'll give all of that to you. Because— "—You deserve to be happy." "....Ah!" Thud. Slowly, Alice's back, trembling with fear, hit the clear wall of the greenhouse. Seeing she had nowhere else to retreat, Alice wore a look of despair; as I drew near, she inhaled sharply. Watching her, I believed that, at this distance, surely my sentiments would reach Alice. Hoping deeply my thoughts would be clearly conveyed to her without distortion. I carefully uttered every single word. "It's not... impossible. This, look, look at me...! I'm missing an arm!" "That's irrelevant to you finding happiness, Alice." I still don’t fully understand what Alice fears so greatly. What the flower means, what the seed means, are secrets too tightly bound for me to unravel with my current understanding. The little I could grasp was that Alice thought her existence would harm us. She wanted to distance herself, and we had failed to notice her suffering. However. Lacking an arm does not mean you cannot pursue happiness. Even if one can only receive help and never offer it, that does not consign them to a life of unhappiness. I learned this from none other than you, Alice. I took another step forward. "I can't even hold things properly anymore. At this rate, I'll just be a burden to you, sisters, as you have to assist me...!" "Neither I nor the others would see your need as a burden." Alice listed the inconveniences her presence might cause us. Talking and sharing her concerns. Yet, despite that, the happiness Alice brought us is not something that can be diminished by such considerations. No. In fact, it was woefully insufficient. I spread my arms wide. "My hearing isn't what it used to be, sister. See, listen. There's this constant ringing, this buzzing...!" "I'll be your ears. I'll be your hands, your arms, your legs." Alice even confessed a shocking truth. That her hearing had deteriorated; the times she seemed absent-minded during conversations were due to it. Wishing it to be a lie, hoping it was merely a bluff to escape the situation — however briefly — I accepted it as truth because she, who had never lied to me, said so. I understood. You've been struggling immensely, Alice. I'll assist with everything. ─Step. "Come with me." "A...ah... No... Sister... This isn't it...!" But I didn't stop, even as my heart ached learning Alice’s long-kept secret. Our proximity shrank so close, no space remained between us, our heartbeats nearly audible to each other. "That's the problem, Sia. My vision is blurring! At this rate, I'll be utterly useless...!" "A person's worth isn't defined by their usefulness." I was like that at first. A useless burden, just as Saeli said, existing only to waste resources. But look at me now. Successfully standing among those once defiant, earning my own keep and garnering respect. All thanks to you, Alice. ─Thud. I took the final step. "I'm just a burden to you sisters now!" "—You're not a burden!!!" "Ah?!" I shouted, grabbing Alice tightly. Feeling her cooler than the greenhouse warmth, her lower body temperature seeped through my clothes. Alice weakly pushed against me with her one remaining arm, pleading to be let go, but I ignored it and held her tighter. Don't pull away, Alice. I still have so many stories I want to share with you. Good and evil. Right and wrong. The good and the bad. None of these hold any significance here and now. Embracing a crying child transcends all the trivial complexities. It’s a fundamental act anyone should do as a human being. I spoke up. "Alice, you know, I actually died once and came back to life?" "...What?" An unexpected revelation. A truth I'd never shared with anyone until now. A memory uniquely mine that no one would believe even if I told them. I quietly and clearly replayed those eighteen frames of my life. "I was living aimlessly, and suddenly, I met you." "...Why?" At one point, I thought my second life was a curse. Caught in a wheel of monotony, unable to move forward or back, merely carried by the flow surrounding me. A life where I found no value in anything or reason for my own existence, weighing my life on scales daily. I believed it was a curse from the gods meant to torment me. "I lived freely once, no regrets..." "...Why?" "So I had no particular desires, just followed fun until I ended up here." —But not anymore. I've realized why I had to start a second life in this unnamed world. If this was a plan the world had for me and Alice, then... I wanted to loudly commend the world for its work. "I'll live my second life for you, for your happiness, to ensure you smile through life. If even that’s not possible, then I'll share my happiness with you." "...Why, for me..." "—Because I like you." A second life, seemingly devoid of any reason. Yet every event in the world has its rightful cause. I realized it. This second life. "I think it's been a blessing meant for me." "...How... how..." I decided. I firmly set my goals in this world. The value of my life. The duty I must fulfill from now on. Everything. I will choose. "So, Alice." "..." Don’t cry. You look your best when you smile. ** Thus, Han Sia and Aris Akaia, the two girls named here, held each other in the empty greenhouse, weeping painfully. In their exhaustion, they clung to each other, drifting to sleep upon the bed of flowers. Their incomplete story of mutual but unshared holes in their hearts concluded softly but warmly. Promising to face an unknown future head-on, with a delayed return home, standing before all those waiting to welcome them, with expressions that neither cried nor laughed, but radiated warmth above all else. "Sia, you're such a fool." "...Haha." "...A fool who doesn't understand people's hearts." Yet still hoped. Nothing had been resolved. The whole truth remained veiled, and the darkness birthed from thousands of cycles lingered deep beneath the surface. But a single, faint light, easily blown out by a breeze, shone brightly in the dark. Allowing the space where once only zero resided to now hold the number one. A single life. ** Episode 4. (Re)Union (？會） The End. "This ending, because of its sheer irresponsibility, can be both happiness and sorrow." Has anything truly been determined? Because of its utter unpredictability, no one could ever know. This is why the ending could finally be named—a Hope. Like a magical box whose contents are a mystery, allowing one to imagine it holds everything. ** "This bittersweet story ends here." Hello, I’m writer Yeo Sil Jeong Haeng. "Did you enjoy the story of a girl who sees no value in life and the four girls who lost and regained their worth?" I’m incredibly happy to have concluded this novel. "What happened to the child afterward?" Over 80 chapters. Four volumes of a novel. It was a long journey for me, although it may have been short for you, the readers. "What will the remaining characters do from now on?" Not a single day passed since uploading the first chapter that I didn't think about the story. Even on days I didn’t write, I pondered the next scenes. It was a flawed novel, full of trials, yet I thank everyone who journeyed with me. "As for that, I honestly don't know." Aris, Sia, Ellie, Remi, and Anna... Every character in this story was my persona, aspects of myself. "They could all face destruction, like the original ending, or find brief happiness, like the second ending, or undergo both, as in the last." They were born solely for me, and I was born solely for them. When they acted, I recorded it, and when I wrote, they acted. It was exactly as Don Quixote's author once said. I loved them. "Because they could do anything." The premise of this novel was one: a simple hypothesis of what would happen if everyone were reborn with memories of past lives, as mentioned in the first chapter. Diminished to the extreme, the value of life. Considering the sacrifice of a hand to save another’s life, I envisioned someone willing to give up their own life to prevent even such a small bother for someone else. Perhaps it reflects how I've lived my life. “Because whether it’s something they want to do or don’t want to do, they have the freedom to choose. Whatever they decide is entirely up to them.” I never expected the story to garner so much attention, as I simply wrote what I wanted to and reflected my life within it. I assumed no one would be interested in such a unique, tangled narrative. “It might sound irresponsible, but why does it feel more beautiful and genuinely fulfilling than the simple 'happily ever after' ending?” Yet, as readers’ interest, encouragement, and advice continued to pour in, I noticed a shift in my perspective. The notion of sincerely writing the kind of novel one wants to read, an idea that should seem obvious to everyone, became clear to me. “Perhaps because it reflects the truest form of life.” The unknown. Above all else, it's both terrifying and wonderful. “Now then.” And so… “The stories of these five people draw to a close here.” The novel ends here. “Aris, Ellie, Sia, Remi, and Anna will all forge their paths forward.” There will be after-stories and side stories, but the tale of the girl ‘Aris’ concludes here. So then... “To all the readers who have supported my novel until it disappeared.” To everyone who has followed my novel for such a long time... “Thank you so much.” Thank you, truly. ** ** Tap, tap. Over the deserted city, the dark blue twilight began to gather. The scavengers prowling like hyenas, sifting through trash bins, and the vagrants lurking in shadowy alleyways to hunt their prey, all retreated to their nests and bolted their doors tight, as if by some unsaid agreement. The time when the world shrouded in darkness emerged and humanity faded into the twilight had begun. Vagrants without even a minimal refuge congregated under the dim beams of streetlights, clustering like moths around a flame, eyes closed in prayer for the night to pass. The day in the old city quarter, where no rules or order existed, was coming to an end. But, unfortunately. Tragically, truly— ─Tap, tap! “─Ha, ah.” My day had just begun. With each step, the pain renewed itself with a cruel intensity. Pain one wishes to grow accustomed to but never can, like a hot iron skewer piercing through one's body or a hand rummaging through one's insides, a stomach churning sensation. Anyone claiming to be used to such pain would surely have lost their nerves or their mind. Ultimately, the persistent courting of the relentless agony pried open my tightly sealed lips, forcing a groan out. A soft exclamation, a tiny scream. A sound so faint it could have gone unnoticed, drowned in the wind, if one hadn't been listening closely. But the unfortunate truth was, for those who made the silent streets their domain, it served as the best beacon. ─Tap, tap!! “──Right over there!!” "......—, —.” Damn it, those crazy bastards. All because of one small sound. Surrounded by shadows, growing ever closer, like a horde of zombies, I cursed inwardly, biting back my words. The memory of that treacherous individual came back to haunt me. ‘...You...you bastard!?’ ‘Hahaha. Wow, this works wonders, doesn’t it? Well, even someone's sister wouldn’t be immune to a stab – they’d have to die.’ Squelch. The guy who once called me sister and swore loyalty, cheerfully thrusting a blade into my gut—how infuriating that transformation was. At the very moment the knife embedded itself in my belly, the absurdity eclipsed the pain. Rather, what engulfed me was an overwhelming sense of betrayal. Lucky or not, or was it unfortunate this happened at all... Thanks to the support of a few subordinates nearby, I managed to escape, but it seemed the deranged guy had prepared more thoroughly than I expected. Just how long had he been planning this? A year? Two? Or right from the moment we first met? Instead of diminishing over time, the number of those pursuing me was growing. Damn it. ".....—....—." Rumors had been swirling, casting suspicion, but he’d demonstrated good performance as a capo by my father’s side over the past ten years, making the doubts fade over time. But the audacity to start trouble as soon as my father passed away... I should’ve known from his disgusting smile— ──Thud! ".....!?" Ah. ─Bang! “.....—, What—...?!” In a moment, a misstep on a stone led me to lose my balance, collapsing to the ground. At the edge of the park, where grass grew waist-high due to lack of upkeep. Fortunately, the ground was cushioned with a rubber-like material, sparing me significant injury, though even minor shocks were amplified by my battered body. Naturally, the pain also resonated through the wound in my stomach, where I’d plugged it with hands to curb bleeding. ─Twitch, twitch. ".....—....—!!" All I could do was writhe in agony on the ground, much like a worm trampled underfoot, twisting and turning. Damn it. Damn it all. When I get back, I’ll kill them all. As I resolved to go back and deal with it all... every single one of them... "......ㅡ!...ㅡ!" ─Crunch. To dull the pain with pain, I bit my tongue, trying my best to stay silent. I crawled, inch by inch, into the overgrown garden, hoping the thicket would conceal me momentarily from prying eyes. In this pitch-black darkness, I counted on it to hide me for now. Unfortunately, I had no convenient tool like a cellphone to call for help. The bastard who lured me earlier was smart enough to ask for my phone at the entrance. I felt hesitant at the request, but since they didn’t confiscate our weapons, I brushed it off as a mere security measure, which turned out to be a grievous mistake. Even if I had my phone, I doubted I'd manage to make a call or send a text in this state. "........." My hands, trembling and covered with blood, could barely form a grip. With a faint groan escaping my lips, holding or even reaching for a phone was a feat beyond my capability. I looked down at my abdomen. My once-white shirt was shredded and stained with blood oozing from my wound, mixed with dirt picked up from rolling on the ground. Though vital organs weren’t hit, with this kind of injury, it wouldn’t be long before I succumbed to it. And the back alleys, those makeshift clinics capable of saving my life, were likely already swarming with that bastard’s henchmen. After all, he had a sharp mind. Damnably sharp. "........" In my mind, I came to terms with death. I accepted the inevitable end, albeit calmly. Though I knew it meant accepting defeat in the truest sense, I had no choice. I may not have the mind of a genius, but I wasn’t slow either. It became clear that there was no way out of this predicament. No matter how much I burned with rage or fueled my actions with hatred, solving this hopeless situation was impossible. "...The stars are bright, damn it." So I opted for no regrets and raised my head to the heavens. In the absence of the evening’s gentle glow, with no light pollution to obscure it, I marveled at the celestial canopy above. Silently vowing to wait for that bastard in hell. Promising to secure the best view in the hottest spot first. I mapped out the constellations with his name in mind, chuckling bitterly at the thought as I felt a fleeting sense of satisfaction. ".....Ha." And so. I lay there, passively awaiting the approach of my end. Until, an unexpected voice pierced through the stillness. "──Sister, what are you doing there?" "─?!" A young and slightly immature voice, truly out of place here. That was our first encounter, that girl and I. ["Damn it...! Ugh!! What kind of... hospital... is this..? Ah, crap, it hurts like hell!! Okay, not going to a hospital... was the right call..!!"] ["...Huh? Isn't this a hospital too?"] ["This is a 'veterinary clinic'...! Ugh, damn it..! This place actually exists...?"] She, who currently lacks a proper name but wishes to be called 'Aris'. ["...Aris, what did you bring back today?"] ["Hehe, Sister Mihyang~ I brought a sick animal!"] ["You brought a wildcat two days ago, a boar yesterday, and today... a person? What's next... well, just bring that person inside."] ["Yeah~"] ["...It's not like my opinion matters at all— Ugh!?"] It was the start of an encounter with an enigmatic, slightly odd girl who might seem peculiar to some. ["Hey there, Sister~!" "Aris’s sister~!" "Sister, are you hurt anywhere?" "Weird sister found a new one~!" "And beside her... a human, I guess?"] ["──This is my treasure."] [".....You."] ["A place for abandoned and forsaken children, my own 'orphanage'!"] That was the beginning. ** * * *