Chapter 103 - The Girl Wants to Be M*rdered

**Chapter 103: The Chapter of the Zombie and the Girl (15)** --- ─Tap. "Do you dislike those people over there, Unni?" "......Hm?" It was a night when the fog rolled in so thick that the night sky was hidden from view. Since a certain day, Hee Ah had developed a habit of enjoying the night air with me every morning. With her eyes aglow, filled with the ethereal image of the white mist, she asked me. Did I dislike those people? Naturally, I found myself responding with a question. To my knowledge, the only people in this house who could actually be called 'people' were Jung Eun or Yeon Yi. Aside from them, it was hard to say there was anyone else here at this location. Was Hee Ah referring to Jung Eun or Yeon Yi when she talked about those people? If she was, Hee Ah's question was whether I disliked Jung Eun or Yeon Yi, and it took me by surprise. There was no reason for me to dislike them, so why was Hee Ah asking such a thing? But then, I noticed that Hee Ah was looking towards the zombies on the other side of the wall. That's when I realized that the "people" she was referring to were, in fact, those zombies. --- Zombies and people. Could it be that? Tender-hearted Hee Ah still considered 'those' as human beings? ".......Mm." Faced with the sudden question, I quietly rested my chin on the railing and fell into thought. While I absent-mindedly tracked the zombies outside with my eyes, Hee Ah simply waited for me, silently smiling beside me. A gentle silence stretched between us. After relishing a few minutes of that brief calm, I finally reached a conclusion. "───No, I can't bring myself to like them." "...I see." There was no hesitation. I can't like them; that was my answer. Their horrific appearance, the chilling sounds they made, the danger they presented by eagerly waiting for us to step outside, and perhaps most importantly───their actions up to now. There wasn't a single aspect to find likable, only reasons to dislike and despise them. If it had been Jung Eun or Yeon Yi who asked the same question, I would have stated my dislike without a second's delay. Perhaps I'd even demand why they asked such a question, possibly even getting angry. Of course, they likely dislike zombies more than I do and would have no reason to like them, so questions like that would never come up. But with Hee Ah, I gently replied that I couldn't like them without any particular reason. Maybe it was the slightly chilly night air that felt pleasant. Because the feeling of being wrapped in a warm blanket of night fog was soothing. And because I was standing together with Hee Ah, looking at the same place, a few things caused the hatred to fade── "─That's what you think then, Unni." ".....Yeah." It was just, a fleeting whim. Some might think of it as an unreasonable anger. To clarify, the zombie out there isn't the one I intensely loathe, the one that killed and devoured my friends. Among those that attacked us when we left the shopping complex for the supermarket, none of them looked quite like this one. In which case, this zombie and I are strangers, or something akin to that. Therefore, there was no specific reason for me to hate this zombie. Was it because the zombie had eaten another person that I detested it? That would require having witnessed or confirmed such an act; it was not a reason I was entitled to use. Probably not for that reason. If not that, was it because the zombie posed a threat, capable of harming or attacking me, that I disliked it? ....No. It didn't seem to be for such reasons. From the start, my hatred wasn't rooted in their attacks on me. Even if unexpectedly, one day, they turned into creatures as still as plants. Even if they suddenly transformed, gaining reason, and reached out seeking reconciliation. I would probably have struck them down mercilessly. So, what is the reason I dislike them? Why do I feel a fundamental need to reject their existence? ..... There wasn't any particular reason. Yes, simply put. "─I just dislike them." That's all there was to it. It was like disliking an entire nation because it invaded ours in the past. Or despising a group because of a few mannerless individuals. I hated seeing them stroll around so nonchalantly, their repulsive cries echoing in my ears, and their bodies banging against the doors. "I just dislike them." "........" I simply wished they were all dead somewhere. I fervently hoped for the death of those creatures. And thus. "Then, Unni──" With no other reason, just disliking zombies made me want them gone. "──If I turned into a zombie, would you dislike me?" ".....?! Hee Ah, you!" I couldn't answer Hee Ah's question. The shock of her unexpected and potentially explosive inquiry made my eyes widen. There were things you should and shouldn't say. Even if, hypothetically speaking, one must not carelessly utter such dangerous words, no matter how much of a child Hee Ah was───. I glared at Hee Ah, with a hint of anger and frustration. "....Would you hate me then?" "......." But Hee Ah neither flinched nor showed any sign of fear. She simply faced me, calmly. ".........." ".........." A quiet silence stretched between us. The silence between us had, at some point, turned uncomfortable. Once, I had two friends. They were so fond of each other that they declared they would die together if one were to pass away, brazenly flaunting their bond to us. At first, I worried about the emotional scars they might encounter when they inevitably parted ways. But seeing their faces lit by smiles so beautiful I had never seen before, my concerns melted away like snow. Even if it was merely a school-age romance, so youthful and fleeting—arriving quickly and just as swiftly fading away—no one understood better than I. Yet, even I thought that perhaps these two, wearing those smiles, could maintain and nurture their relationship into adulthood. Yes. I thought so. ─Crunch! ['─■■, ■■■!!'］ 'W-Why... you...?!' Until the day I witnessed one of them biting into the other's neck. There was a neighbor who was kind to everyone. A harmonious family of a parent and child. A teacher and student who genuinely respected and revered each other. ──And all of them ended up killing and devouring each other. People who were just moments before inquiring about one another's well-being began to crave each other's blood and flesh. No matter the depth of their love, the significance they placed on each other, or the bonds of friendship that intertwined them—all of it meant nothing. In light of fading humanity, people infected by zombies merely reached out toward the human beings before them. With a repulsive crunch, crunching sound accompanying their actions. Some who approached with open arms, believing themselves immune to attack; those who, attempting to communicate earnestly, stood shielding us from harm with their arms spread wide. Once lovers, family, neighbors, and teachers. They met a futile end. Unable to escape their delusional dreams. They died with despair etched across their faces. For those who became zombies surely hadn't wished to kill others in earnest. Having witnessed the horrifying scene myself, none understood better than I. Who would desire to murder their beloved family, friends, or neighbors? Unless maddened, no one would. And the people I knew weren't such individuals. Yet still, when their bodies moved autonomously, causing them to kill their beloved with their own hands—what words could describe them? How should their actions be interpreted? ─Tap. "I pity those people." "........." Yes, they were pitiable. Utterly pitiable. Witnessing their own hands sinking into the throats of their loved ones from within themselves. Watching as they gnawed on the corpses, unable to stop their own actions. What thoughts crossed their minds? Perhaps, they silently wished for death instead. "──That's why, I'm afraid." "....Hee Ah." "What if I became like those people and tried to bite you, Unni? What if I became a burden that only held you back? And then, eventually───what if you came to hate me?" Hee Ah fell silent after her long speech. With her eyes closed, she calmed her breath after the string of words she had spoken. Sssaaaa, ssaa. Underneath the thin cover, Hee Ah's chest heaved rapidly. And it was then that I finally understood. ".....I see." I realized what Hee Ah had been worrying about. We, I in particular, aren't afraid of death. We've never experienced it ourselves, and no one has ever truly experienced it firsthand, so what reason would there be to fear? What we fear is the pain that precedes death—the separation, and the loss of relationships. At times, others' deaths feel more sorrowful than our own because of this. It wasn't the pain that troubled us, but the impending separation from others. Thus, if all negative aspects ceased to exist, perhaps we might view death not as terrifying, but as a welcome and beautiful phenomenon. And what Hee Ah truly feared was── "Yes....? Hwa Min Unni?" "........" It was becoming a zombie, losing control of her body, and attacking us. Living with her, and witnessing her as a fragile child unable to do anything, it led us to constantly assure her. "I'll protect you," we used to say, like a habit. "No matter what happens, we'll make sure you survive, Hee Ah." But those words meant to reassure only became a burden for Hee Ah. A burden. Yes, a burden. She worried that she might someday hold us back. That she might be the reason we couldn't leave this place because we were trying to protect her. Hee Ah had been wrestling with the fear of becoming a burden to us all this time. Even though we believed we hadn't returned even a fraction of the kindness we received from her, this kind girl felt pressured by even the slightest bit of repayment. And at the end of her long struggle with this fear, she arrived at the horrific thought. What if she, the weakest link, the one helpless before zombies, were eventually caught and bitten? What if she, having turned into a zombie, attacked us? What if she lost her senses and bared her teeth against us? She was simply worried if, should she become easy to defeat, her presence would prevent us from attacking due to our feelings for her. Hee Ah was anxious about that possibility. Thus. "No one would ever hate you, Hee Ah. Not me, not Jung Eun, not Yeon Yi. None of us could ever dislike you." ".........." Empty words about protecting her wouldn't ease Hee Ah's current fears and worries. Nor would the irresponsible assurance that such a scenario would never happen and that she should just go to sleep. So. "I promise you, Hee Ah." "...Hm?" There was only one thing I could say to her. "If, by some small chance──you get bitten by a zombie." It was my resolve. It was my conviction. It was my growth. And it was──my everything. "In that case, I will──" I spoke. Words I could only say after long deliberation; words so horrific that they shouldn't be spoken to a child not even old enough for middle school. I told Hee Ah. But. "......." Instead of responding with anger or fear as I expected. Hee Ah met my reply with wide, surprised eyes, holding an expression similar to the one I wore earlier. Was my response what Hee Ah had hoped for? Looking back on it even now, I couldn't be certain. Perhaps, for the rest of my life, I would never truly understand Hee Ah's heart. ─Foosh. ".....Hehe." But if there was anything for sure, Hee Ah at that moment appeared as if a long-cherished worry had been resolved. As if a wish she had harbored for many years had finally been fulfilled. "──Thank you so much, Unni." She pressed her face into my chest. And was truly smiling brightly. --- Yes. She surely smiled. --- "..........." I slowly opened my eyes. The house gate, which I once firmly believed could only be opened from the inside due to its thick lock, was now── ['──■, ■■.....'］ "Ah....ah..." Alongside a horrifying, hellish sound, the gate slowly began to open. A lament, whose source was unknown, reached my ears. Twisted and warped metal scratched against each other, producing a chilling noise. Amidst that intense sound, the wailing of a zombie began to envelop the courtyard where we stood. The cry of a zombie—smashed and distorted, a sound that had become all too familiar during this insane apocalypse. Unlike the first days where we had to block out the noise, we now found the sound "familiar." ─Tap, Thud. "...No, is it...?" "...Ugh...ah...ahhh...!" But at the moment that sound, so disturbingly familiar, reached us, our three bodies froze, as if time itself had come to a standstill. ─Thump, Thump. "......Ah." Breath caught, and my heart pounded wildly. Teeth clattered as if in turmoil, and the sensation of an unrelenting, thorny weight pressed on my throat. My mind screamed a warning—to close my eyes immediately. To avert them swiftly from what lay ahead, lest I witness something horrific, my reason demanded. However, when I heard that voice, the voice I'd longed so deeply to hear inside my heart, escaping was not a choice I was allowed. ['───■■, ■■■■!!'］ The voice sounded. It was, without a doubt, a voice I'd never heard before. Even if there was ever a time I heard such a voice, I had no reason to remember such a dreadful sound. Yet, I knew that voice. I knew who the owner of that voice was. I knew. I somehow knew. Curse it, I knew. Because no matter how changed, I could never forget that youthful voice. Because there was no way I could ever forget───the voice of Hee Ah. This was the sin I committed. This was the karma that visited me. ─Tap. "....Hee Ah." ['...........'］ Hee Ah emerged, pushing the gate open. The girl who once was pure and white was now dyed in red. ** * * *